Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Which Gender Do You Dress As While Transitioning?


Guest Sandra

Recommended Posts

Guest Sandra

While taking hormones I think I'd stay dressed as a male with baggy clothes for a year or two, so my figure and breasts aren't noticeable and after the change is significant enough, then I'd immediately change to dressing as a woman. I know some transsexuals dress female as soon as they begin the transition and wait for the body to catch up. Your thoughts.

Link to comment
Guest StrandedOutThere

I haven't started transitioning yet, so this is more or less my plan. Since I already pretty much dress like a guy...or at least pretty androgynous, I guess I'll continue to do so while I transition. Sometimes, like for professional stuff, I still have to present as female right now. For situations like that, I don't think I'd pass in standard men's dress clothes. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid those "formal" situations for a bit while I transition. Anyway, so I guess I will pretty much keep dressing the same as I do now until I have been on hormones for a bit. When my voice changes and I get some facial hair, then I'll start presenting as male 100% of the time. Top surgery will make that easier still. That's the dream...

Link to comment

If you are in gender therapy and doing this to fulfill the Real Life test "RLT" requirement for surgery it wouldn't really count until you are living the role. If you want to start you can always use concave breast forms that have room for new growth. There are some very realistic ones out there. However if you aren't sure or don't feel ready waiting may be a good idea. The choice is yours. Discuss it with your therapist.

:)

Laura

Link to comment
Guest sphere

I feel I'm a far ways away from hormones (unfortunately) but I always dress and do my best to look like a guy already. So far I plan on just doing the same, except wear more men's clothes rather than all the unisex stuff I have, and I might even be able to go "stealth" then (I kind of look like a feminine prepubescent boy right now, if only everyone didn't refer to me as "she"...)

Though since I'm still a youngin I may or may not, depending on the circumstance, have to change my mind a bit somehow.

Link to comment
Guest Sandra
I haven't started transitioning yet, so this is more or less my plan. Since I already pretty much dress like a guy...or at least pretty androgynous, I guess I'll continue to do so while I transition. Sometimes, like for professional stuff, I still have to present as female right now. For situations like that, I don't think I'd pass in standard men's dress clothes. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid those "formal" situations for a bit while I transition. Anyway, so I guess I will pretty much keep dressing the same as I do now until I have been on hormones for a bit. When my voice changes and I get some facial hair, then I'll start presenting as male 100% of the time. Top surgery will make that easier still. That's the dream...

Well the good thing is that there are a lot of masculine looking clothing for women like suits, so its easier to pass as one and women who look like 'tom-boys' are more readily accepted than mtf.

All the best in your transition.

If you are in gender therapy and doing this to fulfill the Real Life test "RLT" requirement for surgery it wouldn't really count until you are living the role. If you want to start you can always use concave breast forms that have room for new growth. There are some very realistic ones out there. However if you aren't sure or don't feel ready waiting may be a good idea. The choice is yours. Discuss it with your therapist.

:)

Laura

Good points Laura. I'd be a little reluctant to use breast forms-imagine the embarrassment if they fell out or if someone noticed. But its good to know there are other options when one transitions. :)

Link to comment
Guest CharliTo

Funny you ask this today. I'm one that's definitely straddling the fence with this topic...

I had the exact same idea when I was going to transition, but I'm already wearing girl jeans and a shirt with pink on it right now. (wee)...still androgynous, but meh.

The problem for me is that I don't have enough dressing experiences so...I don't have the confidence to be out though. I just figured that if I get my body to get there first, it might be a good confidence booster ^^... Still yet, it is all about if you're ready or not...I'm taking baby steps at a time, but just because you're not dressing FT when you start hormones, don't feel like you're alone or that you're cheating...everybody has their own path. ...so I'm in girl pants and such already to slowly build confidence to wear feminine. :] I mean, ultimately, I want to definitely go full time....

That's my two cents :].

Link to comment
Guest Sandra
I feel I'm a far ways away from hormones (unfortunately) but I always dress and do my best to look like a guy already. So far I plan on just doing the same, except wear more men's clothes rather than all the unisex stuff I have, and I might even be able to go "stealth" then (I kind of look like a feminine prepubescent boy right now, if only everyone didn't refer to me as "she"...)

Though since I'm still a youngin I may or may not, depending on the circumstance, have to change my mind a bit somehow.

Interesting-you sound like you might be pretty passable already. Have you considered just coming out to the people at work and your family?

Funny you ask this today. I'm one that's definitely straddling the fence with this topic...

I had the exact same idea when I was going to transition, but I'm already wearing girl jeans and a shirt with pink on it right now. (wee)...still androgynous, but meh....

I think what you're doing is great, going androgynous. I like the idea of just pushing that boundary until I can go FT, there's certainly an excitement to it-but I won't go overly 'femme' too soon for obvious reasons.

I'm actually not on hormones yet, I hope I didn't give anyone the wrong idea...but I'm thinking ahead as to how I'll do my transition once I get on them.

Link to comment
Guest VLee

I live in a small close-minded community and am in no hurry at all to change how I am dressing in public locally. I am taking my time (got some pounds to lose, down almost 20 for the year!) and am going to start with just dressing around the house while I find what I would like wearing. For now it is just a collared shirt over a tshirt to help hide any extra growth. I have found a very friendly group about a 1 1/2 hour drive away that meets once a month that I would like dressing for when I have more to wear. Lol, there goes my budget.

Link to comment
Guest dolly

i havent started yet either but i'd probably transition in the female clothes slowly. i already wear alot of "girly" stuff with my street wear as it is but yeah, i'd probably not start wearing more dominant female gear until my body looks good to me in it.

Link to comment
Guest Sheila

it will definitly be in woman's clothes. the day i start hrt is the day i get rid of all men's clothes. that's the plan at least. i'm already practicing with my voice although i'm a little discouraged at this time.

sheila

Link to comment
Guest Storm Angel

I have been wearing both female and male clothes combined for quite some time which has a rather unisex kind of look..

I'm actually living by my real name (Jacci) fulltime and even had my name corrected on the work roster! :D

I'm definately not ready to go out in full yet (I wish!!), though I do pass to some people without trying even in boyish attire... the main 'enemy' is when they see my adam's apple or hear my voice depth. :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Guest Sandra
it will definitly be in woman's clothes. the day i start hrt is the day i get rid of all men's clothes. that's the plan at least. i'm already practicing with my voice although i'm a little discouraged at this time.

You go girl! :) Ya I started training my voice also. I'm able to mimic some of my favorite male singers reasonably well but I've found it much more challenging to go female, however I know my voice is adaptable and I can eventually reach my goal with time and practice.

CandiFLA gives excellent advice on how to change it:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qbaj4tIX1kw

I have been wearing both female and male clothes combined for quite some time which has a rather unisex kind of look..

I'm actually living by my real name (Jacci) fulltime and even had my name corrected on the work roster! :D

I'm definately not ready to go out in full yet (I wish!!), though I do pass to some people without trying even in boyish attire... the main 'enemy' is when they see my adam's apple or hear my voice depth. :rolleyes:

You look fabulous, you realize its girls like you that make the rest of us go green with envy. :D

Your voice can be fixed with training/practice over a number of months and the adam's apple with some surgery. I have one but I'm lucky its barely noticeable. I have feminine hands, arms, legs, eyes, lips but I have a masculine body so I'll be working hard to trim myself down to a girlish form over the year.

Link to comment
Guest Krimo

I dress in male clothes, have since before I even realized I was trans. I can't even wear girl's clothes anymore without feeling extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable.

Link to comment
Guest silverpetals
I dress like a dude, always have, always will.

i'd probably have to go with seth, but i'm not sure where that would put me :S i tend to dress pretty tomboyish anyway (hoodie and jeans ftw ^.^) and i don't feel that will change much (unless i like, grow up :D ). i'd probably be a problem to some therapists, because a lot of them have very rigid and classically typical expectations of what it means to live as your correct gender--is it wearing the clothes, changing the name, or something more?

Link to comment
Guest (Lightsider)
While taking hormones I think I'd stay dressed as a male with baggy clothes for a year or two, so my figure and breasts aren't noticeable and after the change is significant enough, then I'd immediately change to dressing as a woman. I know some transsexuals dress female as soon as they begin the transition and wait for the body to catch up. Your thoughts.

It really is an individual thing...for me I did not even attempt to pass as female until around 75 percent of my facial hair was gone. I dressed as male for the first 4 months of transition. Then one day...I got ma'med...I thought it was a fluke. Then it happened again. I was in Arkansas at the time on a trip and then I used the Mens room at one point and guy in the bathroom nearly freaked. I was wearing no makeup...dressed like a guy...and he took me as female. That was the last time I ever ventured into a mens room. Today I know if I tried to go in the mens room I would get arrested. Sometimes nature tells you when it is time to make the switch.

Link to comment
Guest jennifer_mcg
It really is an individual thing...for me I did not even attempt to pass as female until around 75 percent of my facial hair was gone. I dressed as male for the first 4 months of transition. Then one day...I got ma'med...I thought it was a fluke. Then it happened again. I was in Arkansas at the time on a trip and then I used the Mens room at one point and guy in the bathroom nearly freaked. I was wearing no makeup...dressed like a guy...and he took me as female. That was the last time I ever ventured into a mens room. Today I know if I tried to go in the mens room I would get arrested. Sometimes nature tells you when it is time to make the switch.

:) Oh I do agree! The time will come naturally

JJ

Link to comment
Guest Chrissy31947

Hi!

I was living in two genders until I went on vacation and went full time as the lady I am. When I returned home I tried putting on the boy clothes and went into full crisis.

Putting the guy stuff back on was strapping all that conflict back on. I knew I was conflicted, but had lived with this conflict all my life, so I didn't know any better. It wasn't till I lived without this conflict that I understood how debilitating it really was.

My therapist wrote me off work for a month to adjust to my gender and get comfortable. I let my boss know I was transitioning during this month and returned to work as myself. I have never been happier!

Hugs, Chrissy

Link to comment
Guest Alice4016

My name will be changed on July 10th, as will my drivers license etc. so I'm starting to go full time now, so that when there is no other choice I will be adjusted. Just do it when you feel ready I guess, if you don't care what others think (ie. not worried about voice, looks, etc.) then get on out there and start being you. If your worried about how others see you, then simply wait until you are comfortable with yourself and how you present. I started dressing around the home, then around friends, family, etc. Then when I would go out to others houses, then to eat, to the moives, etc etc. until I was fine doing it all the time. Baby steps are the key!

Alice

Link to comment
Guest Mr. Fox
i'd probably have to go with seth, but i'm not sure where that would put me :S i tend to dress pretty tomboyish anyway (hoodie and jeans ftw ^.^) and i don't feel that will change much (unless i like, grow up :D ). i'd probably be a problem to some therapists, because a lot of them have very rigid and classically typical expectations of what it means to live as your correct gender--is it wearing the clothes, changing the name, or something more?

A therapist like that is a therapist I would not want. I, myself, plan to wear a combination of men's and women's clothes my entire life. I actually plan to crossdress more after transition because I will be taken as male without having to be all manly.

Adrian

Link to comment
Guest 2892Bandie

I always dressed somewhere in between when i was younger... Now i dress almost always male unless my parentals absolutely need me to present female and even then it's funny cause i look like a drag queen. I keep telling them, i look weird and unhappy don't make me do it. But, it's all about how you feel inside while transitioning right?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 97 Guests (See full list)

    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MaybeRob
    • Susie
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,056
    • Most Online
      8,356

    kristinabee
    Newest Member
    kristinabee
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. ciara
      ciara
    2. Jamieleann
      Jamieleann
      (62 years old)
    3. Lukey19252
      Lukey19252
      (22 years old)
    4. Maye
      Maye
      (66 years old)
    5. Spirefreedom
      Spirefreedom
      (21 years old)
  • Posts

    • Timi
      I am so happy with Maybelline products. For my basic needs, I love their Magic Eraser. I used the app to dial in the best shade and it works great just -- even as a very light "foundation"
    • Vidanjali
      "THE CASS REVIEW NEEDS TO BE THROWN OUT ENTIRELY. THIS IS WHY."  https://whatthetrans.com/cass-review/    
    • April Marie
      I think this can be a big part of it. There are times when I just don't have the experience or expertise to respond.   Is there a specific post we've missed @Ladypcnj?  I remember that my intro post had less than 10 responses. Some of that has to do with timing, too.    I've also found that the more I posted to various threads the more responses I've received. But, I can tell you that there are times when almost no one responds to my posts. Don't take it personally. Keep posting where you feel comfortable and people will get to know you.   It really is a friendly and accepting place.
    • April Marie
      Oh, the guilt can be overwhelming, can't it? It's kind of like the joke about the difference between Protestants and Catholics.   Protestants have sex without guilt.   Catholics have guilt without sex.   It seems as if guilt is just a natural by product of our gender identity confusion whether we have any awareness of it or not. We feel different and so we blame ourselves for not feeling as others say we should.   What a tremendously uplifting moment it is when we can finally shed that guilt. Bask in the relief, M.A.   And having the right therapist seems so crucial to me. I had, fortunately, a very quick and strong connection and trust in my therapist. She was a life saver for me. Literally.   Again, welcome to TGP!!
    • Petra Jane
      Perhaps no one knows how to reply?  
    • MAN8791
      For me, with my former therapist, it was almost more like a frog in a pot slowly coming to a boil - I don't think either of us realized the scope of what we were dealing with until fairly recently. And she helped me find my new practitioner, which was incredibly helpful too <3 It feels very strange and new - I've framed this, whatever this is, as 'being bad at being female' for literal decades, since puberty really, and the idea that maybe it's not my fault, that I've never done anything 'wrong,' is a little overwhelming.
    • Lydia_R
      I had fun doing this a few weeks ago.  This is how I got rid of -money:     This music player code of mine is really working out nice.  My music collection is all mp3 files.  I put them on my server and then code things like that to play them and loop them.  And then I coded an app while I was in the mental hospital in 2009 that I use to transcribe my music with.  It's a Windows app and you can browse to an mp3 or use a URL to an mp3.  Once it is in the program, it looks like a normal music software timeline and there are sliders to slow it down and speed it up by octaves, semitones and cents, so you have complete control over what key the music is in.  And you can create loops in it and I added a feature a few years ago where it remembers all the settings so when you open it again, you still have the same loop set with the pitch settings.  I've been putting my favorite recordings in it lately, setting the funkiest loop I can find and then slow it down an octave or more.  Then I play drums to it and piano stuff, or pennywhistle.  I like playing drums on the floor.  Even though I got rid of money and well, I should have done that decades ago, I had a good time the other day hitting my bin of GO stones with my drumstick.   I don't know if I'll get flagged for self promotion here or not.  You know, I'm a musician and I'm just sharing ideas for how to listen to and enjoy learning to play music.  I'm not the only one who has made tools like this.  I'm really geeking out on my roommates drumset.  I learned to play in the 90's, but I haven't had a set since then.  I've been playing 5 gallon plastic water bottles as hand drums for 30 years.  They are relatively inexpensive and common and they sound great.  Very fun to play along to your favorite music.  And if you can slow the music down, it can make it easier to play to for some songs.  As advanced as I get as musician, I still enjoy just meditating on playing some simple pattern over and over.  Lately I've been playing an Emin7 chord going to an Fmaj7 chord on the piano.  It's all white keys.  You just play an E and then skip a key etc...  Every other key for 4 notes and then just move that all up one key for the Fmaj7 chord.  I just like the droning quality of it.
    • EasyE
      Welcome to the forums! Writer and graphic artist (and photographer) here as well, though most of my life has been spent in the sports realm... bless you with three teenagers!! I have two and they are a handful ... I have found a lot of encouragement and help on this forum... Hope you do as well... Blessings on your journey ahead ...    Easy
    • EasyE
      During COVID lockdowns without any place to go, some neighborhood buddies and I would play Life for hours (imagine a bunch of middle aged men playing that game, it was a hoot - all sorts of 'house rules')... anyways, as much as I could get away with it, I would choose a pink peg to represent myself... sometimes even had a female name to go with it... this was before I even really pondered whether or not I was trans ...   I was very determined to do this ... so interesting to look back and see all the threads pointing me to where I am now, though it has come as such a surprise as well...   Easy    
    • EasyE
      Thank you all for the helpful responses... I realize some of HRT is for mental health -- like I said above I really am enjoying the ride so far in that regard!   Guess there is a part of me that wants to have my cake and eat it too. I want to have a nice feminine shape within reason for my age (fat distribution - you can kick in whenever you want!!). Yet, I am still not out to family, so I want it to be subtle enough as I go along that I can cover tracks when necessary ... Not the ideal situation but it is what it is ... maybe when family realizes that this is not making me into a monster, they will come around to some of it. I can hope, right?   More and more, I just want to look in the mirror and see a female body staring back at me ... I want female clothing that I put on to look like it fits me to a T... (and by T, I don't mean testosterone, lol)...    EasyE    
    • Mmindy
      Good morning to you @KymmieL from the Eastern Time Zone where it early afternoon. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Justine76
      Welcome to WA! Seattle and the Capital Hill neighborhood in particular have many LGBTQ+ friendly establishments. Seattle Trans Pride 2024 is June 28th ;)  
    • missyjo
      Agree, April you always look so stylish  bravo dear   maddee, do you have furry friends too? aren't they adorable? they've generated a lot of smiles.   Ashley always looking cute   daisy print skirt with white floral blouse over pink lingerie. typing today n maybe movie tonight   hugs
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon M.A.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums, I think you'll find that there are a lot of us who had their first therapist reconsidering our story and recommended us to gender or LGBTQIA specific therapist. I made my first therapist cry after asking me what was my worst experience or memory. She was not prepared for the can of worms I brought to the couch. My second therapist is a gem, she's my age and knows how to work with my thoughts.    My two kids were also involved in the arts programs in school one in theater, the other combined art and modern music.   Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated,    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Welcome.   This can be a good sounding board and a place to say things you otherwise could not. Be yourself. Find out what that is.   Abby
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...