Why I Am Really Here

[Guest cecilia]

I have spent some time thinking about things and I believe I am here for a few reasons. One would be to know what I really am in technical terms and second being how I can be what I want to be physically. I do not think there is any manner of confusion within me in terms of me knowing what I really want to be or who I am as a person, I want to look like a woman. I somehow doubt that I can be but, if a question will be asked then that is my answer.

What I am, I am a 26 yr old male(physically), I have a woman that I love so much and I am fortunate that she understands me and wishes to stay by my side and to love me forever as I love her. I believe ours is true love, and it extends beyond the physical features of each other. Her love for me is actually that which gave me the strength to think about this seriously and for once consider things.

I have always wanted to look like a woman, I have always preferred to use female names. My wife now calls me with one and it really makes me happy and she likes it too. Right now my life is just full of happiness and I thought, why not be a bit more happier.

This decision to act is really very recent, I do not know what to do literally. I guess that is everything. At the moment I am trying to grow my hair, it will take a long while since I have always had spiky hair. Physically, I started at 220lbs but after some dieting, I weighed at 155 this morning and I am still working on it on losing more. It is funny coz everyone thinks im crazy to be wanting to lose more weight, it is hard at times though because I cannot say that I do not want to be a fit guy, I think that is what I am right now, but instead I want to look like woman with a beautiful body, I still do not think I can say such.

I really do not take care of myself in general, my hair looks horrible my face and skin looks horrible, pretty much everything in the physical sense about me looks horrible. But I do not want to stay like this, I really want to be beautiful someday and really look like a woman, I just need to know how. At the moment, no I cannot pay for surgery but I alteast want to reach a point where in when the time comes that I can, that really will be all that I will need and everything else has already been taken care of.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read.

[Guest Alice4016]

Cecllia,

First off welcome to the forums. Sounds like we are in a similar situation, have you started talking with a therapist yet? I think it's kinda neat how we have so much in common (at least that's how it seems from the read )..even our weight 155...thats kind of a trip don't you think? Anyway, I know you know what we have in common so just saying welcome. Hope to get a chance to know you a little better .

Peace, love, and health,

Alice

[Guest cecilia]

A therapist? What kind of a therapist?

Oh my god, so you're somewhere aroung that weight too?

Yes, I think I do know what we have in common and I really find it interesting. I guess in a way it is nice since I can ask you things if ever since you've already been there and done this or that, if you do not mind that is.

Take care