My Androgyny Faq.

[Christastrophic Kaos]

Androgyne- A person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender roles of society

I always wondered why I didn’t feel right. I never felt I was who I wanted to be… well, not 100%. Sure, being female is something I was born as and something I still to this date relate to… but only on some levels. I fluctuate between gender roles. I don’t feel either female or male… I just look, dress, and act however I feel at any given time, using a gender neutral name in order to avoid the common problem of being called by a female name while in a male mind set.

To me, gender binary is a curse. On job applications you are asked Sex: [ ]Male [ ]Female. Well what about those who are inbetween such as those who are transgendered or androgynous? How are we supposed to answer that? Sure, we could put down our physical gender down, but that just doesn’t cut it for some people. I, for one, disagree with the gender binary and believe everyone should be treated as if they were whichever gender they wish to be.

Before coming to the conclusion that I was androgynous, I played around with the idea that I may have been FTM TS.. And who knows, maybe I still might be leaning farther over to male than andro, but I had no methods of binding at the time. A regular bra that was too tight began hurting my breast bone and my ribs and I couldn’t find an Ace Bandage, and the training bra I have is the regular size I would need. I wasn’t working therefore buying a proper binder, or compression shirt, was not really an option.

I cut my hair short.. Now I can physically identify as either male or female depending on what I wear any given day. I rarely wear make up anymore and I curse my chests bustyness, wishing that my breasts were a few size smaller so that I could bind easier and look more male. I prefer not to have pronouns of either gender used on me also. I prefer that when people talk about me, they use my name rather than gender binding terms such as he or she.

(Is there anything else I should add?)

[Guest Chrysee]

Androgyne- A person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender roles of society

I always wondered why I didn’t feel right. I never felt I was who I wanted to be… well, not 100%. Sure, being female is something I was born as and something I still to this date relate to… but only on some levels. I fluctuate between gender roles. I don’t feel either female or male… I just look, dress, and act however I feel at any given time, using a gender neutral name in order to avoid the common problem of being called by a female name while in a male mind set.

To me, gender binary is a curse. On job applications you are asked Sex: [ ]Male [ ]Female. Well what about those who are inbetween such as those who are transgendered or androgynous? How are we supposed to answer that? Sure, we could put down our physical gender down, but that just doesn’t cut it for some people. I, for one, disagree with the gender binary and believe everyone should be treated as if they were whichever gender they wish to be.

Before coming to the conclusion that I was androgynous, I played around with the idea that I may have been FTM TS.. And who knows, maybe I still might be leaning farther over to male than andro, but I had no methods of binding at the time. A regular bra that was too tight began hurting my breast bone and my ribs and I couldn’t find an Ace Bandage, and the training bra I have is the regular size I would need. I wasn’t working therefore buying a proper binder, or compression shirt, was not really an option.

I cut my hair short.. Now I can physically identify as either male or female depending on what I wear any given day. I rarely wear make up anymore and I curse my chests bustyness, wishing that my breasts were a few size smaller so that I could bind easier and look more male. I prefer not to have pronouns of either gender used on me also. I prefer that when people talk about me, they use my name rather than gender binding terms such as he or she.

(Is there anything else I should add?)

Well, with everything that you're doing, I'd say that you've backed the physical into a corner.

Good job.

But what of the mind set? You know, the first time that I appeared in public in drag (not that long ago!) it was in a restaurant. Being a bitter cold night, though in a skirt, I wore a long coat. When I removed the coat and stood there practically in the middle of the diningroom, I suddenly felt something that I never had before. Infact, I'd never thought of it and didn't realize that it was something that I'd ever want to feel:

I felt beautiful.

It was my first time and unlike when I only thought about doing it, there I was in public and completely unafraid.

Now I'm a biological male, but was wearing a skirt and so didn't need to worry about strapping anything down. And despite the gorgeous Victorian skirt, the blouse with the leg-o-mutton sleeves, the jewelry and the face make-up, I'm Andro and have a goatee. Regardless of how I looked, I felt gentle & unthreatened, warm and glowing, . .and beautiful.

No one attempted to speak to me. . .no one inquired about my gender. And I noticed no glances or faces. I sat there across from my girlfriend and together we shared a Mexican cuisine appetizer of some sort or other.

It was delicious.

I rode a city bus and had to remind myself to hike up my skirt so as not to step on my hem as I climbed aboard. And when we got where we were going, I had my first experience with a gender neutral restroom. And as I sidled up to a urinal in my skirt, I felt welcomed and unthreatened by the people bustling past behind me.

I had every right to be me and be there. And no one challenged me!

Now I'm just rambling.

Oh well. . .

Chrysalis

[Guest Deitrich]

I feel the same, my problem is that i have a very feminine body, a tiny waist wide hips and really big boobs. even when i fully bind my boobs im still around a DD cup (australian sizing). i wear clothes about 4 sizes too big and my figure still shows. And im really worries about acceptance because im so young. so if i dress as a boy, people at school really wont understand. I dont know what to do.....

[Guest stranger]

I dont know what to do.....

The question in my mind would be, which is going to mess with your head worse, the gender dysphoria or the taunts of your classmates?

They'll likely just think you're a lesbian. Which could be potentially very annoying depending on your actual sexual orientation... since gender and orientation are two different things.

Public school is a nasty little fishbowl I think most of us gender-nonconforming people suffer through until we can go on to better things-like Uni, as you call it in Oz.

Socially and appearance-wise, do what is going to make you the least miserable while you're there, and focus on study so you can get somewhere better.

[Guest stranger]

Androgyne- A person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender roles of society

Now, that's where I think it gets...different for me.

Roles are one thing...there are a lot of cisgendered women and men who are way, WAY away from gender norms...but they don't ID as androgyne. They still say "I'm a woman, or "I'm a man," respectively. You may have to ask them, but that's what their gender is.

Gender, after all, being located between the ears, despite opinions to the contrary.

For a long time I considered myself such-a butch, bisexual female.

But after pretending to be a male version of myself on an online discussion forum...

I started fantasizing, feeling like I was deprived of something that ought to be there... a different anatomic arrangement...which is decidedly *not* feminine. Or masculine. I basically feel like I should have been born with ambiguous genitalia.

(Never mind the fact that had I really been so lucky, that probably would have been "corrected."surgically before I was old enough to speak )

That's when I started looking at myself as not male and not female; as third gender.

So at what point does gender role dislike become actually beinga different gender? does each person decide this for themselves? What's the criterion?

And since I can't get the anatomical bottom arrangements I want (nor do I want damaged nerve endings), what does all this have to do with my rather pedestrian female bits?

Better yet, what if my gender dysphoria gets worse and I stop being able to pass as a female? Ideally I'd like for strangers greeting me to guess male sometimes, and guess female other times.

Testosterone, receding hairline, and facial hair? One part of me wants that, the other part of me is like "You'd never get a job again!"

[Guest Micha]

Someone wants a receding hair line? God I hate mine! Guess that's typical. "God I wish I had . . . " "Really? You can have mine!" Huh.

Though I guess Jason Statham is pretty hot.

Distracted. . .

To me, gender binary is a curse.

Yah, I binary system by definition is a set of two, in this case male or female. There are men who aren't as masculine as men "should" be, and still identify as male. There are more women who aren't as feminine as they "should" be, but still identify as female (and in large part I think that's a mix of extremely old fashioned ideals about women still being held on to and the feminist movement's completely rejection of said ideals).

So, is the question "where's the line you cross, from being different for your gender, but still that gender to being something different altogether?"

Completely subjective. Gender is in itself subjective. People comfortable in a binary system are so not because of nature, but because they themselves feel comfortable doing what they do, being who they are, in such a world. That is, however all up to them. How anyone identifies in anything is completely subjective. Androgyny to me may be completely bat nuts crazy to someone else who identifies as androgynous (and don't that figure into complicating something that's already quite confusing?).

So I guess the simplest way I can put my ideas is that gender is a nuts reason to do or not to do anything. Like for me, I shouldn't do something feminine to feel more feminine, or to reject anything in me that's masculine. I should do it cuz I like it, and never mind that it's feminine. I.E. - I shaved my legs for the first time in my life today, but I didn't do it because I'm transgender, or because it's what women do. I was depressed, and the thought of doing it made me smile, so I did it to feel better. Guess what, I love how my legs feel now. So soft and smooth, it's amazing. . . So as a guy, I did something "feminine", not to be feminine, but cuz I liked the results.

Gender, after all, being located between the ears, despite opinions to the contrary.

Perfect, and of course, that's why it's so subjective. It's not so simple as you have "this", so your "that". Or you want to have "this", so you're "that". There's a lot a person does that would be labeled masculine or feminine, but that doesn't make them one or the other. It's more about how they relate to themselves, and then to the world around them.

One thing androgyny is to me is a way of saying "I know you think I should be like this because of my genitalia, but I think you should urine off."

Kind of like freedom, you know? I like that.

[Guest Deitrich]

The question in my mind would be, which is going to mess with your head worse, the gender dysphoria or the taunts of your classmates?

They'll likely just think you're a lesbian. Which could be potentially very annoying depending on your actual sexual orientation... since gender and orientation are two different things.

Public school is a nasty little fishbowl I think most of us gender-nonconforming people suffer through until we can go on to better things-like Uni, as you call it in Oz.

Socially and appearance-wise, do what is going to make you the least miserable while you're there, and focus on study so you can get somewhere better.

I dont really mind what people think of my sexuality, im pansexual, so my sexuality is very similar to my gender so i dont care about that :S i would like for people not to know whether im a boy or a girl, but my body stops me from being seen as anything except female. and i dont know how to tell my mum so i can explain why i want a binder, because i cant afford one myself...

[Guest stranger]

Someone wants a receding hair line?

I actually have sort of the opposite...for some reason the peach fuzz between my eyebrows and hairline has gotten thick and black-and I'm pale. It looks odd. I shave this periodically now.

Yes, I have a PROceeding hairline. It's like my unruly eyebrows want to join my scalp or something...

(Having plural eyebrows, not just one, always being an active choice here...)

So having a nice squared-off hairline, or a widow's peak, seems like it would be a bit better.

@ dietrich...you could get away with asking for a high-impact sports-bra...then take needle + thread and take it in to make it even more restrictive? It's just an idea.

[Guest Deitrich]

@ dietrich...you could get away with asking for a high-impact sports-bra...then take needle + thread and take it in to make it even more restrictive? It's just an idea.

Aha i did, it minimises pretty well but im mega scared to alter it because it was $120 (australian)