My Best Friend And Confidant

[Guest Temmy]

I met my best friend over a year ago over the internet (I live in the UK, her in Canada). She's been my absolute rock through everything life has thrown at me, through realising my gender identity and sexuality to my personal insecurities. She's a lesbian and an up-and-coming LGBT activist. I love her more than life itself and feel as though we share twin souls (and yes, I know that younger people are often accused of overexaggerating relationships but I wouldn't say this if I didn't really, really feel it in the bottom of my heart).

And yet recently, ever since she started high school in September, she's been drifting away from me slightly. I don't know what it is, a combination of there being less time to talk with her commitments (she's an actress and artist at heart, something I'm very envious of but also happy for her about). She just seems to not connect with me as much any more. I try to be there for her as MUCH as I can but she now goes to her new friends in the Gay-Straight Alliance at her school for her problems, and there are an increasing amount of days when she doesn't show up on the internet at all to see me. I'm meant to be going to visit her next summer and have been doing as many odd jobs, paper rounds and summer jobs as I can get my hands on to raise the money.

And I'm scared, so scared because she is the one person I was able to tell everything to, she's the only one who knows the full 'me', the girl inside, and... if I lose her, I really don't know how I could carry on at all...

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Well, long distance relationships are tricky. Internet friends are sometimes only for a moment, it sometimes seems. She might come back.

BUT

You should be able to find someone else to whom you can relate, either that long distance way, or in person. I suppose we should have many good friends, in the event one drifts away. Part of life, I regret to say.

So stay with us on Laura's for a while. Many like minded people here.

Lizzy

[Guest sarah f]

I am sorry your friend isn't on the Internet much anymore. It is hard to keep in contact sometimes when we don't live close to each other. I would let her know your thoughts and concerns the next time you two can talk. Maybe she will realize how much she means to you and make a concious effort to talk more. I hope it works out for you two.

[Guest KimberlyF]

She still cares about you but this is human nature. She was prob getting as much from the relationship as you were. You may have been her only outlet. And now she's grown and has friends in the flesh who give her the same understanding you do, but when she's having a bad day they can also hold her hand or rub her arm. This relationship may never be the same, but you will always have the good times that you shared together. And if you can find one person to connect on that level you can find another. You just have to be open to it.

Kim

[Guest Temmy]

It's not right, it's not right that these stupid circumstances should get in the way of us, I love her, I will always love her and I can't, I couldn't find anyone else even remotely like her... Thanks for your support everyone...

[Guest Whitenail]

Ah yes, I have an extremely good friend in Britain who's been very supportive of me through this (herself being a fulltime transwoman) and I know how hard it can be when you start to lose contact with the one person you're able to talk to about things others wouldn't accept.

The trick is to realize that eventually they come back online and sometimes it's best to spend some time away from each other to test the waters independently and then be able to report back to them with more news. Just be thankful that you've found someone as kind as your Canadian friend whom you can confide in, one of the first people I regularly talked to over the internet about my dysphoria had alot of issues herself and most times it would be me consoling her, then eventually she left the dreaded "I guess I donb't belong anywhere, goodbye everybody" message and I never saw her again...she's in my thoughts and prayers everyday, and communication is a vital part of the transition.

[Guest therisa]

Temmy, I know it's hard when people, whom you thought, as being there forever for you, drift away. As painfully as, this is for you, your friend doesn't hate you, or is ignoring you, intentionally. Rather, her priorities have change, as she is discoverying, her true self. Just as you are.

therisa

[Guest AmethystHeart]

Ive been through the same thing, and unlike your situation, i found out rather harshly i was being ignored because my friend was getting married. I know its not the most reassuring thing to say, but remember, its long distance, she does have her own life to manage as well. Sometimes things happen and while we wish otherwise, there is nothing we can to about it. I hope things get better for you, maybe shes just trying to keep her life stable, and is not necessarily trying to forget about you?

Sorry if im of no help.