The Day After

[Guest therisa]

It’s now, the morning after my latest flashback, and sitting in a virtually empty library, besides myself, there are two other patrons here and the normal library staff. Despite this fact, I am still battling my need to flee back into the safety of my apartment, cutting off all contact with the outside world. I know this is the worse possible thing to do, in my current condition.

Guess, this shouldn’t be surprising, as I am jumping at every single noise, I am hearing. Venus (one of my two cats), jumped onto the sofa, earlier this morning, almost triggered a full blown panic attack, for me. Didn’t help, last night my sleep was badly broken up and killing my glucose readings, this morning. Just want to curl up, and hide.

Sigh, tomorrow session with the CB therapist is going to be one of my most stressful session, I have had with any counsellor/therapist to date for me. This will be the first true session, which she will be working on my anxiety and depression issues. Doesn’t help the lighting in her office, really hurts my eyes and am forced to wear shades, to prevent a migraine headache from happening, but she can’t see my eyes, as a result. Just love my body, not!!

therisa

[Guest Opal]

Therisa, hope you can manage to get through the day, and make it to your session tomorrow. She is on your side, and maybe she will have suggestions that will help you to cope.

At least it sounds like things are calm and quiet in the library today.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest Guest_SL]

Therisa,

I can relate to some extent as a long term sufferer of depression and anxiety attacks.

I had an attack this morning bringing my daughter home from the hospital and had to pull off the road and take a Xanax to make it back home.

It's the first one I've had in a while as the Klonopin usually keeps things under control but the holidays are always tough for me and even though I'm happy to be back on the site, there is a bit of stress involved. When you've hidden something as if it were a dark and terrible secret for many years, it's still difficult to post where the world can see.

There's this bit of paranoia that somehow, someway, a person I know would pick up on my style of writing and a few other things peculiar to me and out me to the point where it may create problems for my family.

A full blown panic attack is the worst feeling in the world.

My therapist is so great and she's a huge help but there some things you can't, "Get over".

I don't know your entire story but it saddens me to know anyone is suffering because of who they are or wish to be.

The title of this thread is a bit of a hint and I hope with all my heart you haven't been a victim of ignorant behavior on someone's part.

Hang in there and trust in your heart. Keep this site as a source of strength and comfort and I wish you peace and much love.

SL

[JJ]

Therisa

It is good that you are able to go to te library the next day. every thing you do like that is a victory to be savored.

As hard as te therapy session may be the relief from letting some of that out and letting it go will feel so sweet. It's not like reliving it alone. You have help and support right there with you. What you go through accomplises something and that makes it worth it.

Hugs

John

[Guest therisa]

Thank everyone, for your kind words of support. Earlier this afternoon, I lept when I hear someone knocking on my apartment's door.My nerves are still, a tad too tight, but better than this morning.

therisa

[Guest Guest_SL]

Therisa,

Glad you're feeling a bit better sweetheart. Reading your signature is a sign of humor in the face of adversity. That's a good thing. Some of the worst times of my life have been brought back from the edge by a good laugh. Or a good cry.

Laughter and tears are interchangeable for they both cleanse the heart.

SL

[Guest therisa]

Thank you, Sara Lee. Know that all too well, as there are days, which only a laugh, prevented a flood of tears, for me.

therisa

[Guest Guest_SL]

Thank you, Sara Lee. Know that all too well, as there are days, which only a laugh, prevented a flood of tears, for me.

therisa

Therisa,

Being alone and feeling crushed is something I think a lot of us can relate to. I see how many posts you've made so you seem to know where to come when times are tough.

You're never more than a few clicks away from someone who cares and loves you for who you are. And it works in reverse. Cool, huh?

Love you,

Sara Lee

[Guest therisa]

Thank you, Sara Lee. This is a very special place, for all of us. Am glad you have found it, too.

therisa