Who I Am

[Guest citymermaid]

Hello everyone, my male name is not important but you may all call me Melanie (Mels, Mellie, whatever variant of such) which I have decided will be my true name once I undergo sexual reassignment surgery. I am finishing up college and am very lucky to have full support from my family and friends with my decision. Ever since I was a child I knew that things were different with me. I always played with dolls, watched the "girly" cartoons, fantasized about being a princess in a Disney movie like most girls did. The problem was that everyone told me it was wrong because I was born a boy. This struggle followed me into high school when I realized I was attracted to men and thus must be labeled "gay". I dated two men from high school to my first year in college; both dumped me because they complained about how feminine I was. They would constantly tell me that if they wanted a girl then they would be straight. Things became a confusing mess with me, and I struggled with my identity.

Then, one glorious meeting of my college's LGBT support group, we participated in a discussion about what being transgendered and transsexual means. Finally I found out what I truly was! I wasn't crazy, everything they spoke about fit me perfectly. Didn't I do drag shows because I liked dressing up as a woman and being respected? Didn't I always feel more comfortable in women's clothing and get jealous when other girls could wear dresses to events that I couldn't? I started reading and doing research, and to spare any more details, here I am now.

My question is quite simple: am I considered a transsexual, do I identify as a MTF as I have not gotten the surgery yet? Would I technically be a woman and not MTF once getting the sexual reassignment surgery? Thank you for any replies. It is good to be part of a forum where I can talk about this.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Melanie,

Welcome to Laura's Playground and thank you for sharing your story with us. The answers to your questions may seem simple but are in fact quite complicated. I'd recommend counseling with a gender therapist for the answers you seek. He/she can help you sort out just who and what you are. We could make an educated guess but a gender therapist is the way to go. This is the link to our therapist page. Hopefully, there's one near you.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

MaryEllen

[Guest Drew]

hi Melanie welcome to the forums. nice to have you here.

[Guest Eveanna]

Hi Melanie,

Welcome to the forums. I hope you will get the answers to your questions. It is confusing to many of us.

Eveanna

[Guest raydub]

Welcome to the forums Melanie!

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It kinda set off a memory Id started to forget - being told by girls that if they wanted to be with a man that they would be straight .. so i know the feeling - VERY confusing. Im glad we both have that straightened out now --and the pun wasnt even intended Like MaryEllen said, a gender therapist can best answer those questions.. but never discount what you feel inside. What YOU feel and know to be true are always most importatnt.

Take care and see you around!

Ray