Self Doubt And Where Do I Fit In?

[Guest Annaemo]

Well again I hit a brick wall. This year I was sure I would start transitioning, I went to meet a friend who said he was trans and I thought could help me. He's a bit older and has his own house and spare room he said I could stay in. On the way to meeting him I met an old friend from before I understood I was trans and started thinking going back to my old life would be a lot easier.

I met my friend and it just seemed strange, he had a massive collection of woman's clothing but after I dressed it just felt very strange. For me dressing isn't really anything special. I like the feel of women's clothing just its not really exciting for me.

I just want to be a normal girl doing normal girl things but is this even possible??? Am I doomed to being too scared to transition and having to collect woman's clothing in secret for the rest of my life? Or will I end up a freak that can't find a stable job other than sex work?

[Guest Jean Davis]

Honey, I hate to say this but these are questions you have to work out on your own. How far you go or where you end up is totally up to how much desire you have to be happy and how much effort you apply towards your life. If you feel that you will be happy with taking the easy road, perhaps that is where you need to be right now till there comes a time that you are no longer happy with where you are at. We really can't make those desisions for you, as we don't walk in your shoes.

But here's something to think about. You said "I just want to be a normal girl doing normal girl things". I always wanted to be myself and do what I wanted to do. See the difference?

LUV

Jean

[Guest Donna Jean]

Or will I end up a freak that can't find a stable job other than sex work?

Anna, Sweetheart...

That was a thought that plagued me for a long time before I found Lauras....

I searched the net for "Transsexual" and found "She-Males" "Tran.ny" and so many other other horrid things and I thought that maybe my life was doomed to be like that...

After coming here I realized that we can become normal men and women and live in this world...

Honey...Jean is right....it's up to you....it can be done!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest EvenClose]

I gotta say goin back to being miserable just sucks. I don't wanna do it. And I ain't. If you think you can, well, Ide say thats probably the cheapest route to go. But in all honesty Its you that has to make the decision if you can live with being how you are now or not.

I really wish there was an easy answer to all the questions you probably have goin through your head. It took me almost 2 years to come to a decision to transition. Literally it was hell.

My best opinion is to look within yourself and keep asking those questions, but give an attempt to answer them as you go along. I really believe the hard part is knowing yourself before you can start to put together

a life plan of what works for you. For some its not transition, for some it is. Either way give it your best shot to be unbiased and realistic about what it is that you NEED in life and go from there.

Being male or female doesn't change much in the world we live in, but being able to be yourself changes everything. Keep looking up. The stars will stay shining.

[Guest NatashaJade]

I met my friend and it just seemed strange, he had a massive collection of woman's clothing but after I dressed it just felt very strange. For me dressing isn't really anything special. I like the feel of women's clothing just its not really exciting for me.

That's because it's not about the clothes themselves. I'm not excited by wearing them. They are simply a signifier, a way of indicating your gender to the world.

I may not ever be able to be a "normal" girl, but I will live as one and I will be a woman as I can. That is all that matters to me.

If this is what you need, then do what you must to make it so. It is possible.

xoxo

Tasha

[Guest Annaemo]

But here's something to think about. You said "I just want to be a normal girl doing normal girl things". I always wanted to be myself and do what I wanted to do. See the difference?

LUV

Jean

If that's the case why not go and be like Jeffree star? Isn't the main aim to be seen as women in society and not totally abnormal? I understand what your saying about being your self though.

@Donna Jean I love this site too. There are so many inspirational people, just wish I was more like them and less confused all the time.

[Guest NatashaJade]

If that's the case why not go and be like Jeffree star? Isn't the main aim to be seen as women in society and not totally abnormal?

The main goal for me, at least, is to have a body that matches my gender. If you can blend in, that's a wonderful thing and it can happen. As far as being abnormal...well, I pride myself on not being "normal".

xoxo

Tasha

[Guest Jean Davis]

If that's the case why not go and be like Jeffree star? Isn't the main aim to be seen as women in society and not totally abnormal? I understand what your saying about being your self though.

Jeffree Star???

Sorry I don't know of this individual.

But the point I was trying to make is to find a point where you are happy with yourself. If you're happy with yourself the events you experience in life will mean soo much more to you then if you're not happy with yourself. Don't think that you are obligated to do anything you feel is not right for you or go faster then you feel comfortable with. That is why there is such a wide spectrum of people under the term Transgender, we all go to different degrees of self awareness and transition so that we can achieve a good self image that we are happy with. Some of the transition process is to realize that we can never make everybody happy and that it is us that have to find where we are happy so that we can live a full life.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Annaemo]

But the point I was trying to make is to find a point where you are happy with yourself. If you're happy with yourself the events you experience in life will mean soo much more to you then if you're not happy with yourself. Don't think that you are obligated to do anything you feel is not right for you or go faster then you feel comfortable with.

LUV

Jean

Yeah I know what you mean about being happy with my self. Also the part you said about taking things slowly. I've felt the best thing to do is diving into dressing and being around various trans people. I guess today I felt like I had to show off to my friend but actually growing my hair slowly and wearing unisex jeans also feels nice.

I just need to find a good balance and stick to that and not feel pressure to jump into transitioning too quickly.

Thanks xx

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Honey - look into your heart. You already know a lot about yourself and you are working on more self discovery. It will come together, especially if you seek the help of a gender trained therapist, which is the best way to go.

I am transsexual - definately diagnosed and all that. We are NOT freaks. And I found out NOT to compare myself to others! There are all forms of gender dysphoria, and it can be confusing. Just wanting to have been born a girl is what most of us suffer - it's NEVER just the clothes.

So don't panic.

You are what you are. You will learn to accept that and know you are perfectly okay being what you are. When that happens you can again take charge of your life, and work toward the pursuit of happiness!

I hope this helps.

Lizzy

[Guest SidESlicker]

No, you're not going to wind up working in the sex industry if you don't want to. Look more into the trans community, and you'll find scads and scads of people who just want to be themselves as a normal person of the opposite gender.

Go find a friendly counsler or therapist to actually help you. A closet full of women's clothing and the expectation that the stars will all line up into place as soon as you put a dress on isn't going to work.

The simplest advice that I can give you if you don't want to be a person who collects women's clothing in secret, is to not be that person