Any Advice Or Thoughts?

[Guest Erin B]

I kind of always knew that something was a little different with me, but when your young its hard to see things. You just think that your weird or there is something wrong with you. Anyway I am now 44 years old. I never really figured it out until the the last ten years or so but my mind kind of works more like a womans. I think when it comes to many things, Sex being one of them. I never was very outgoing and really actually had a hard time even talking to people or being around people . It has got easier the older I have got. I have noticed things about my body like my hips are kind of wide for a man and I have always been kind of skinny and tall.. I do have body hair on my legs and arms with my arms being the worst. Which I always hated for some reason and always wore long sleeve shirts to cover them up. I remember in school, being teased about them being hairy on one hand and always wearing lonks female from the waist down, feet are kind of big. I don't have any fat on my hips really either. I started getting the urge to crossdress when I was in Jr High I suspose. I have went thru the usual binge and purge deal. Now the part that probably will shock most of you is that I am a 44 year old virgin. Its not like I haven't had the chance, I don't know why I didn't take them. I wasn't in love with most of the ladies I guess.It takes me enought time to get to know someone before I can get attracted to them. I know i never had the same sex drive the the other men i see and know have. They just think differnt about sex than I do and did even when I was a teenager. That was all they could think about and would lie aned cheat or do anything to get what they wanted.. I had been feeling poorly and had my T level cheeked and was 278 but I think it has alway been low.. I might be possible that I have an extra x or something. I don't know. Anyone have anythoughts or does any of this sound familiar?

[Guest Emily Ray]

Erin,

What you describe is what many of us MTF's have felt. I am 39 and have just a year ago accepted myself as being a transsexual. I am not saying that is what you are. Only you can figure this out and the help of a gender therapist is a good place to start. I am not a virgin at 39 only by the grace of God. I have really only had two women in my life. I like you was just uncomfortable being the aggressor in male female relationships. Much of what you describe is causing you to question and I hope you can find your way. Welcome to Laura's!

Huggs

Emily

[Guest NatashaJade]

Erin, I can identify with what you are saying, but I cannot speak to the physical except to say I understand the issues with body hair and have gone a long way towards ridding myself of it.

As for how you may identify, I'll echo Emily and say that it's important to speak to a therapist about this if you can. You can read all the websites and books on the subject, but until you sit down and begin to give voice to what you are feeling, to have a dialogue about it that helps you discover what you might feel is true, then all you can do is speculate and we cannot do anything more than that.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

xoxo

Tasha

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Hello, Erin

Welcome to the Playground

I'm Donna Jean

I have to say ta so much of what you describe has been heard here and applies to many of us in one way or another...so, it's time for you to try to figuyre where you're at in te big picture..

And here at Lauras is the best place to start...Along with a good gender therapist..

So, come on in and have a seat and I'll get you some of Sally's cookies and a hot cup of my coco...

Now, I'd like to ask you to be sure to have a look at the forum rules...there's a link at the top of most pages...It says “Terms & Conditions..

And, we moderate this site to keep it safe for everyone..

It's really nice to have you!

Huggs

Donna Jean