Thank You Sir

[Guest Stephanie Butterfield]

I am now considering whether I am ever going to referred to as a female, instead of sir, mate and pal all the time, obviously not when everytime I shop its the same result, I wear appropriate female clothing shoes and make up.

I didn't challenge it, whats the point, I just burst into tears in the car. 16 months of horomes no feminisation nothing.

I give up

Stephanie

[Guest Sergei]

Don't give up Stephanie.

What does a stupid pro-noun really mean anyway? You are female, and you know you are. Don't bother about the rest of the world, they just don't understand you. Never give up. x

[Guest Keiichi-kun]

Stephanie NEVER give up on what is important to you A pronoun is just a word. YOU know who YOU are and nobody else can change that.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Stephanie,

You are not alone…many trans-women are in the same position as yourself, but they have managed to develop good coping skills, reinforce with the knowledge/fact they are being true to themselves and that’s what counts…

You cannot ‘force’ others to accept who you are, and if for whatever reason you can’t move to a more trans-friendly place, you will have to change your ‘attitude’ towards those who don’t accept you…Remember... resentment breeds more resentment!!!

I know it sounds harsh but in many cases a 'change of attitude' is the only way for you to lead a somewhat normal life…Remember to always be polite and where necessary correct them in a polite way…Say for example in your local corner shop, if the assistant refers to you in the male pronoun, smile be polite and say “ You have made a mistake I AM FEMALE!” and if you have to, go on and explain about your condition…Educate – educate – educate….

You could always try talking about your experience to the local newspaper, I’m sure some sympathetic reporter would be interested in your story…Make sure you have some information re ‘Benjamin’s Syndrome’ on hand that you can supply to them…[A word of warning if they are going to research the condition themselves, make sure they have the correct wording ie, Benjamin ‘s’ Syndrome-with the ‘apostrophe’ and not ‘Benjamin Syndrome’ - the latter is an entirely different conditions].

When a trans-woman on the island where I live went 24/7, she told her story to one of the local newspapers [including a photo] most of the island’s population [around 7500] got to know her story…

Most now understand her condition and have come to accept her[if not total acceptance-at least tolerant her condition] and treat her as female…Education in many cases leads to acceptance and if not total acceptance at least ‘tolerance’…It’s worth a try…what have you got to lose…

One more thing…First thing of a morning[because yesterday was a bad day] do you say to yourself “I know my day’s going to be miserable!” Or “TODAY’S GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY!”

You will be amazed at the difference those simple words - positive ‘affirmations’ can make to ones day…

I KNOW THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER FOR YOU STEPHANIE!!!!

Metta Jendar

[Guest Andrea-M]

I am finding that it doesn't matter how feminine you look , act, sound, behave some people just have great amusement(for themselves) in trying to belittle us on purpose. Point :- I just went to the garage to get some supplies and was sired(i had heels , womans jeans , a V neck top, womans fleece, and moderatley made up , my hair to my shoulders at the front and to my bra band at the back. All day i have been at work dressed the same and no one ...no one sired me in work or a store ( i visit many clients during a day , and not all know about my situation). Although as much as it annoys me a great deal getting sired I have managed to rise above it , I push myself to be more confident and defiant and am finding it is they that have the problem...I know myself and no one can change that ...BE CONFIDENT, STAY CONFIDENT.

When I get Maam'd it leaves me elated for the whole day.....it doesn't happen often , more of late people don't say anything .....I am pleased with that for the time being.

One thing I have learnt.....you are who you are some people will accept it, some won't but that is their problem and not yours............

[Sakura]

in most cases ppl are not trying to spite you simply to spite you unless they are trying to spite you and usally the ones that are trying to spite you know you personally confused ? you have to under stand that the every day joe on the street has only the faintest knowlege of what we are and why we do this to most the very thing that pops to mind is a crossdresser and assume we are men just wanting to wear womans cloathing for what ever reason every ones brain instantly genders ppl by what they see and what they hear

when they run into you on the street you can look like the cutest girl in the world but if you sound like jonny cash its instant recognition of a male and so their brain genders you male and the pronouns just sorta roll off the tounge and it goes the same for mannerisims walking ect ect the brain is designed to pick up alot of these subtle little things that we are not even aware of like woman dont plod along they float and men dont wiggle when they walk they strut (only an example i know there are woman that dont float and men that dont strut) but it all ties in to what the person thinks when they see and hear you

chalk it up to lack of social tact and ignorance but most ppl are not trying to hurt your feelings they just dont know any better and dont know the proper edaquitte (or how ever you spell that) for dealing with a transsexual and if you are getting sired you have somthing thats giving you away voice,mannerisims, hair make up, any number of things you need to really study your self to find out what your doing wrong

Sakura

[Guest Andrea-M]

I agree with you also Sakura , yes ppl mostly can't be blamed for their pick up on gender cue's (this one did it on purpose though). You do have to analyse your self constantly until you get it right .

[Guest shimmeringkristal]

Stephanie,

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. I just want you to know that you should never give up a fight no matter the odds. You are you and that is what trully counts. What others think is completely irrellevent. You are free to express yourself in any way you see fit and to heck with all the rest of them. I also want you to know that I believe in you. If you need anything just pm me and I will be more than happy to chat with you anytime that you need someone to listen to you.