Two Down...

[Guest MelissaC]

The first person I came out to as female, my best friend here at university, was really accepting of me. She admitted that she really didn't know what she could do to help, but promised that we're still best friends, she still loves me, and she understands that Melissa is the same person who I've always been.

Today, with more confidence than last time, I told person number two. Interesting situation, turns out she's also a girl who was born male. Unlike me though she says she's content to live as male and just know she's female on the inside, which is why I hadn't known before now. And unlike my best friend who didn't know how to help beyond supporting me she immeditely told me "hold on, I'll go get you some of the best resources I found when I wasn't sure if I wanted to transition or not." Amusingly enough one of them was the main site here, although when I asked she said she never joined the forums.

With two successes I've begun forming a list of my closest and most trusted friends. It's the friends I want to tell, listed in order of who I think's likely to be the most accepting. I'm going to work my way down starting from the ones I hope will take it best and then moving down to the ones who I think probably won't care very much one way or another. After that move on to the immediate family, who are generally quite open to "different" concepts and I think will accept me, even though I know it'll be hard on them, they're my parents after all. Finally, depending on if I get support from my parents, I move on to the ones who might not take it too well. By which I mean my extended family. But thinking of telling the family is getting ahead of myself at this point.

I know there's bound to be some failures along the way, and that it'd be a fantasy to hope everyone takes it well. With these two wonderful friends that I've already told behind me though I've gotten confidence that I've never felt before, and I know that at the very least I'm definitely not going to be alone, even if/when I do get rejections along the way.

[Carolyn Marie]

Melissa, I think you have a great attitude about coming out to people, one grounded in realistic expectations. Yes, keep that confidence, look forward to continued success, but always be prepared for the bad experiences too.

It's a great feeling, isn't it, to unburden your mind with friends you can count on?

Grand!

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

your from canada and from most stories i hear often from their tend to be better than american so with that your off to a good start, plus medical system is much beter their, so bonus 2, im not sure about people but, whenever you get confertable enouph and think its the right time. use judgement and common sense

Welcome to the forums.

and who knows maybes you wont get any rejections!

Best Of Wishes

[Guest MelissaC]

Melissa, I think you have a great attitude about coming out to people, one grounded in realistic expectations. Yes, keep that confidence, look forward to continued success, but always be prepared for the bad experiences too.

It's a great feeling, isn't it, to unburden your mind with friends you can count on?

Grand!

Carolyn Marie

It is such a great feeling for sure. I've risen out of depression before many times only to fall back in, but since talking to my best friend and succeeding at my first coming out, the depression hasn't been back yet, not in the slightest. And it usually is long before now so I think I've managed to make a big step on the road to beating it just by finally being myself and being accepted.

[Guest MelissaC]

Another step taken. I got the opportunity to tell 5 people at once although I hadn't expected to do that, and it was my first time coming out face to face with anyone. I'd been planning to tell each one individually but hey the timing seemed right and these people are all among my best friends who I had expected to be very accepting anyways.

The reaction I got (and the girl who said it worded it simply but beautifully) was "Just be who you are, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone as long as you know it's true." And then I got a hug from the person on each side of me and the conversation just carried on to a discussion about a movie marathon.

It's 7 down now. I know that's still not much, but with these friends in particular I'm really starting to feel like I have a group here supporting me.

[Guest MelissaC]

Wow I'm posting a lot...

Um, just told number 8. An achievement in that this was the first person whom I wasn't almost positive would be accepting of me.

I'm amazed at how casually he took it. We talked for awhile but basically all he said was "oh ok" and then he criticized counselors and therapists for making me wait so long for appointments. I think it helped that he's a medical student who's very focused on what he does and apparantly already knows about things like HRT and SRS and the basics of how it all works.