When Did You Change Public Restrooms?

[Guest Samurai_Kid]

I've heard stories of a lot of people that pass, who haven't changed restrooms by than.

So, when did you first change? When do you consider it "safest" to?

[Guest mary/jason]

havent made it official, but i would base it on whom im with and the place itself. if im out with friends who know im a guy and its some chill place, id go for the mens room. with the family? no doubt, womens. of course most things ive read concerning bathrooms say its all about confidence and not dropping your packer on the floor.

^ ^ if im feeling REALLY cocky ill go to the mens room on campus too lol.

[Guest Kalie]

Hiyas,

I started using the proper restroom once I felt as though I passed well enough, had a carry letter, and was just about to go full time.

I don't think I could have done it any sooner personally but that is just me. Everyone does things at a different pace and or stage. I think its just weather or not you feel comfortable enough with your self that makes all the difference. Hope this helps

Love

Kalie

[Guest Avery F]

Personally, I changed restrooms as soon as I felt I was reasonably passable. Part of my motivation was that I just wanted to use the proper room, but also I'd gotten a couple of funny looks in the lady's recently. Now that I have an STP device (just the medicine spoon/eye dropper type), I feel completely comfortable going in the men's, although I still use a stall.

As for safety, I'm not sure I'm qualified to give advice... I guess I'd say, oddly enough using the lady's can be more dangerous for a trans guy who's passing even some of the time, as some women get freaked out that there's a man in their restroom and call security - probably they think the guy's a rapist or something. Men don't tend to look much at other men whilst in the lav, and they don't often talk to one another either, so even if you don't pass one hundred percent you'll probably be okay.

Of course, the safety issues are probably different depending on where in the world you live - I live in a relatively liberal state, so even if a chap did figure out I was trans while I was in the restroom, he probably wouldn't mind all that much. In more conservative areas, it's less certain that someone will not react badly to a transgendered person; there have been instances where trans folks have gotten attacked. Also, I'd imagine that MtF transsexuals would be wiser to wait until they pass REALLY well before changing restrooms, because women are more likely to look at other women in the lav, and also because they are more likely to call security, or whatever.

[Guest Jade Camp.]

I still fluctuate, but the first time I used the proper restrooms was in Disneyland. My reasons were corny, but I'm glad that did, you see entering disney land there's a sign that stated "here you leave the real world, and enter the place of the past, the fantasy, tommorow, and where all your dreams come true". If I dream of living as a girl, then why not take such a self-affirming step in "the happiest place on earth". If I'm wearing fem clothes then I usually use the girls, but again if I'm not out to the people I'm with then it's generally not a good idea to use the girls.

Love,

Jade.

[Guest Christine Alexa]

Once I started living my day to day life as a girl a few weeks ago, even though I only pass sometimes, I started using the girls powder room all the time, everytime.

I don't even have a carry letter yet, but I honestly have had enough issues in bathrooms in my teens and early twenties, that I really don't want to have to defend myself in public in a darned bathroom.

Worst case going in the powder room is someone gets upset, but I don't think a natal girl will try to physically attack me over it.

It's as much safety and a little pride that I have full confidence going in there.

<hugz>

Christine

[Guest Carter L]

I'm a little young to be making a comment on this as I've only identified as completely male for about a year and am 16 now, but I've already started to get strange looks and even sometimes comments in bathrooms. I think I'll change restrooms when I start taking T and the effects start to show - y'know, facial hair, deeper voice. At that point, I know I'll be beyond confident. I've used a guy's restroom before to put a tie on and didn't get a second look. I mean, as for using a stall, I wouldn't worry about not having an STP and using a stall, guys have to sit down to take a dump and nobody's going to try and figure out whether or not you're peeing sitting down. Guys are pretty lax, so even safety shouldn't be too much of a problem unless you're just starting to pass and in an area where there are lots of younger males who are cocky and bigoted. At least, that's my two cents.

-Carter

[Guest audrey michelle]

public restrooms disgust me [unless its a super nice place] but i always go into the women's restroom since i look too much like a girl to use the men's

[Carolyn Marie]

I began using female restrooms as soon as I got my carry letter, and months before starting hormones.

I've yet to have a problem, even when having to stand on line for a stall. I do love not having to see

people pee, especially in places like stadiums where the dang thing looks like a horse feeding trough.

Ugh!

Carolyn Marie

[Paula ult]

In the beginning it depended on if i was presenting male or female as to which rest room i used, today it is only the woman's rest room but i try to avoid using public rest rooms as they are usually disgusting, i have a carry letter but never needed to show it.

Paula

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

When I felt I passed well enough to where I wouldn't get any strange looks while entering/exiting the ladies room.

[Guest Donna Jean]

So, when did you first change? When do you consider it "safest" to?

LOL.....

When I had to go........TA DA!

AWWwwwwww........

better.......

dj

[Guest Superrad]

I still fluctuate, but the first time I used the proper restrooms was in Disneyland. My reasons were corny, but I'm glad that did, you see entering disney land there's a sign that stated "here you leave the real world, and enter the place of the past, the fantasy, tommorow, and where all your dreams come true". If I dream of living as a girl, then why not take such a self-affirming step in "the happiest place on earth". If I'm wearing fem clothes then I usually use the girls, but again if I'm not out to the people I'm with then it's generally not a good idea to use the girls.

Love,

Jade.

Haha, Jade, the first time I went in the guy's restroom that I knew had people (I'd been in the one at my school twice, only one during school hours and one in another place in Cali) was Disneyland too. I'd ventured into restrooms when I had a pretty good feeling they were ghost towns/when I was in LGBT friendly areas, but that was my first real one. There was a guy in there and he looked a bit tough, and I made the horribly awkward mistake of connecting eyes with him. I just broke contact and strode right into a stall. It was a base 'yes I see you there and I'm not going to ever look again' moment and it gave me tons of confidence.

I've stopped using the girls bathroom now, honestly I'd stopped after my hair cut when I was passing alright/pretty well. Haven't gotten any comments because guys don't usually mess around in there. That being said, my gay friends tend to be a lot more open in restrooms. One of them even asked me to come with him! Then again, a ridiculous amount of my male friends are gay, so maybe it's just what friends do.

[Sally]

That is such an easy question to answer, much like Donna Jean said, "when you need to go."

If you are presenting male that is the restroom to use, if presenting female then the choice is just as obvious.

For androgynous just use the one that feels right to you.

i feel safe in either - I greatly prefer being dressed and presenting female so that is where I usually go unless I am at work - once I am out there that will change as well.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Lora]

After my first year of hormone therapy -- the day I went full time.

Lora

[Guest Ripley82]

It took me a while to be able to use the ladies room. I guess it was when I actually accepted myself that I started using the proper place...even though I know that I do not pass all the time but it is right for me!! Although I generally try to stay away from public restrooms as they seem really shady to me...

[Guest Robin Winter]

I still fluctuate, but the first time I used the proper restrooms was in Disneyland. My reasons were corny, but I'm glad that did, you see entering disney land there's a sign that stated "here you leave the real world, and enter the place of the past, the fantasy, tommorow, and where all your dreams come true". If I dream of living as a girl, then why not take such a self-affirming step in "the happiest place on earth". If I'm wearing fem clothes then I usually use the girls, but again if I'm not out to the people I'm with then it's generally not a good idea to use the girls.

Love,

Jade.

Hahaha, what a great story!

[JJ]

Thiis is one of those things I usually worry about but I've decided to just trust myself to know when to make that change. What a funny world we inhabit-does any other group of people have to ask questions like this?

John

[Guest doodle]

right away but I have had a lot of experience in the past. I also live in NYC where it is illegal to question someone using the rest rooms. Ive never had a problem.If i were a ftm I would be scared knowing how mean men can be.

[Guest harvester52]

I used the men's room for years before I started T. As far back as middle school, I had troubles with girls freaking out thinkin' there was a guy in the bathroom. I've never had much trouble passing, and especially now that I grow facial hair, have a very deep voice, etc. there's no way I could walk into a women's bathroom without getting pummeled by every purse, shopping bag, and high-heel shoe in the place. XD

-BC

[Guest ShortyT]

I started using the guy's restrooms shortly after changing my name, once I had a form of ID with my new name on it. This was before I started T, so no chance of passing. I'd choose my restroom carefully though, and use the ones where there would not be likely to be a line, and where a main door lead to the restrooms before parting into male - female, to avoid looks. >.> I have never felt unsafe about using male restrooms, just very awkward.

[Guest Liam]

I started using the men's room once I was at the point where going into the women's room earned me a bunch of dirty looks or a bunch of women yelling at me to get out. For me, this was 2.5 years before starting hormones, and even about 3 months before I came out to anyone. It was scary, because I didn't pass as male all of the time at that point, but it was better than going in the women's room. But clearly, as evidenced by the variety of answers that people have given, there's not any one time that works for everyone to make this switch. It all depends on how well you pass and on your comfort level with going into the men's or women's room.

[Guest N. Jane]

Restrooms were always an issue for me!

I thought/felt I was a girl from earliest childhood and starting public school was the beginning of restroom problems! I would NOT use the boys room (when there was any chance of a boy being in there) and was not allowed to use the girls room so I would pee behind a bush in the school yard or put my hand up in class to use the restroom when everyone else was in class (both of which I got shyte for on a regular basis).

By the time I got to high school I had started puberty and my atypical development (breasts) got me out of gym class and I was allowed to use a non-gendered "single-user" staff restroom. As a teen, if I was en femme and out with other girls, I would use the girls room, otherwise it was a non-gendered single user facility. That continued through college. I couldn't use a men's room without emptying the place LOL!