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New Job!

Guest raydub

By Guest raydub,
in Coming Out

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Guest raydub

Guest raydub

Posted
Posted

ive been looking for a new job for quite some time now. i currently work for a university through a temp agency and i get paid more than i was making at starbucks as a shift supervisor, but still not what i could be making as a developer. So...i finally got the job offer and its more than i wouldve asked for. im STOKED! now...i havent changed my name and i havent started T (but that's coming up next month :D) and so i need to hear your experience, strength, and hope.

how on earth do i come out and transition at work? or rather, how did YOU do it?

its a very small, 24 year old company, based in Norcross, GA with about 300 employees or so (I THINK). currently, my plan is to go in there and pretty much get acclimated to the place...introducing myself with "call me Ray"; go ahead with hrt; work my butt off to show them how great of a programmer and worker (in general) i am; and after a few months of hrt - when i pretty much cant hide it anymore disclose. at that time i would also change my name legally and *crosses fingers* hopefully start talking to surgeons about top surgery. so..yeah..tell me also what you think about my current plan...and of course tell me how you disclosed.

thanks a ton.. i just dont know where else to take this question. of course i'll ask my talkdoc on monday..but until then, im all eyes.

Ray

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Guest StrandedOutThere

Guest StrandedOutThere

Posted
Posted

Congratulations, Ray!! THAT'S AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really happy for you!!

Hmm...coming out at work. My therapist says that the IT industry is generally pretty open to transitioning. He seems to know what he's talking about.

Now, about the timing. I have no clue. My plan is to let most people at work/school know things on a "need to know" basis. I'm going to come out to my closest friends either before I go on hormones or shortly after. For casual acquaintances, I'll answer questions honestly, as they arise. For my bosses, I figure I'll come out soon after I start hormones, definitely before my voice breaks. I'm thinking I might even tell my primary advisor once I get my hormone appointment because she's cool.

My transition is probably going to cause me to hang out in grad school for like another 6 months to a year. Then I'll go to my post doc presenting unquestionably as male. I don't pass at all now because of my unbindable curse lumps. For you, I think you pass pretty well pre hormone. Only your direct supervisors will have access to your legal stuff with your real name on it, right? It seems like a good idea to come out to them pretty early on, but no one else needs to know unless you want them to.

One thing I notice about people is that they don't really pay all that much attention to anyone. You might be surprised at how oblivious people who don't know you are to the changes you are going through, especially since the changes will be gradual and over a long period. People that see you every day will be the least likely to notice. Hold your cards close, man.

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Guest harvester52

Guest harvester52

Posted
Posted

I came out at orientation. After I for sure had the job, I told both my managers, who then told the other managers, and the other crew members have just always known me as a guy from the very start. I only came out, though, after I read up on the company's policies. They protect trans people in their international policy. It helps also that Washington state law protects trans folk in the workplace.

Definitely check the company's policies on the issue.

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Guest raydub

Guest raydub

Posted
Posted

I tried to research the company's policies and from what I can tell there is no protection. Thus my idea of making them WANT to keep me before coming out. :huh:

Ray

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Guest StrandedOutThere

Guest StrandedOutThere

Posted
Posted
I tried to research the company's policies and from what I can tell there is no protection. Thus my idea of making them WANT to keep me before coming out. :huh:

Ray

I guess smaller companies aren't all that likely to have organized policies on anything. Hmm...I guess it is probably prudent to keep things on the down low until you are established in the new job. When do you start?

Just asking them to "call you Ray" shouldn't be an issue to anyone. Lots of people go by nicknames and stuff.

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Guest raydub

Guest raydub

Posted
Posted

Stranded, I start June 30th. ..and can hardly wait!!!

Yeah.. Im counting on it not being a problem that people there call me Ray.

I went to the dentist this morning (my filling fell out yesterday <_< ) and I requested that they call me Ray - so on my files it has my birthname, but it also says (RAY) .. SWEEEET!

Ray

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Guest StrandedOutThere

Guest StrandedOutThere

Posted
Posted
Stranded, I start June 30th. ..and can hardly wait!!!

Yeah.. Im counting on it not being a problem that people there call me Ray.

I went to the dentist this morning (my filling fell out yesterday <_< ) and I requested that they call me Ray - so on my files it has my birthname, but it also says (RAY) .. SWEEEET!

Ray

Oooh...that is soon! DUDE! AWESOME! (We sound like the Ninja Turtles a little)

Booo on fillings that fall out! OMG, I need like 2 fillings. I'm going to have to be a man about it and just go to the dentist. It isn't that I can't afford it. I'm actually afraid! I also don't want to hear a lot of static about how I haven't been to the dentist for years. I didn't have the money until recently!!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest raydub

Guest raydub

Posted
Posted

At the new job today and everybody (of course after ive introduced myself that way) calls me Ray.

One lady :lol: was like.. "Ray? *smile* Hrm..is this the *birthname* you told us about? " So the guy introducing me goes, "Yeah, she asked to be called Ray" while Im saying, "yeah, call me Ray" as she looks me over.

I was entertained. And happy that people are like, "Ray? Ok! Nice to meet you."

Good first day at work i'd say.

Ray

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Guest StrandedOutThere

Guest StrandedOutThere

Posted
Posted

Sounds like good news! I'm glad your first day went well. I bet it feels pretty sweet to have a good job!!

Good stuff!! :D

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Guest raydub

Guest raydub

Posted
Posted

Dudes! Thanks.

I also wanted to tell you...I didnt notice buy my work ID says Ray on it too!! :lol:

And I didnt even notice. My s/o was like.. 'Your ID even says Ray'

I said.. oh! Wow.. i didnt even notice. Probably because thats what its SUPPOSED to say. :lol:

Sweet.

Ray

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