Does Anyone Relate To This?

[Guest Jennifer2111]

Okay, so as my parents know I was never into buying male clothes in fact during my entire child hood i refused to buy anything.

So, they ended up buying stuff and I didn't care at all, but still wear them from demand.

When I was around 3 years old I actually ran off from my mom and grand ma.

Yes I was a really smart kid and i actually put on a dress and walked out out the dressing room with a dress on and they all went awe thinking it was some kind of phase, but the question is, is it really a phase or the start of noticing something's wrong with me externally?

The so called phase did not stop after words and in fact got worse around age 13, I did not fit in with any gender role group at all, I was very distant from people and just drew things i saw around me.

Later around 16 the girlfriend was the latest hit in teen life, getting one however was not an interest in me.

I mostly hung around the guys, but as friends I did not feel any attraction with them.

Still liked girls and all, but it felt like more of me wanting to be them than be with them.

And here I am now showing my parents the fact that I am trans gender and I'm here to stay.

I now am spending more than $200 on woman's clothes, shoes, and accessories than I would on a video game, it definitely did shocked my parents because they figured i was never gonna be crazy about clothes which is only half true.

So, I guess what I'm saying is does anyone relate to this?

Any advice on getting my mother to accept me? She's very close to me and my therapist said it might be harder on her since i was with her all my life and we were extremely close unlike my dad and he already accepts me.

XoXo.

Jennifer.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Many of us have had something like this in our earlier years, it is a bit different for each of us, but the feelings are the same. As to how to gain your mothers support? Just have a very serious heart-to-heart talk with her. This might be a subject for the younger members to answer, because they have had to face this.

Lizzy

[Guest DawnK]

I can relate to most of what you said, except I aways wanted a girlfriend as well as dressing like them. I found out at a young age that boys did not wear the kind of clothes I wanted so I didn't care about buying clothing either.

My Dad had a real problem with Boys who didn't act like boys, so most of my life was a lie. I was closer to my mother and took every chance I got to learn about clothing and make-up from her, but not as much as I would have liked since I had to be careful, lest I get caught. I grew at a fast rate, so I had outgrown my mothers clothing by the time I really knew I wanted to wear female clothing, so I dreamed a lot.

I did find a few chances to dress while I was serving in the Air Force. But it wasn't until the birth of the internet and a few years after retirement from the AF that I began to dress more frequently.

Once I finally knew there were others like me, I finally decided to tell my wife. She tried to understand, but in 2005 we called it quits as far as being a couple. I told my daughter only after the death of my nephew last year because I realized that one day, I'd be gone and she would most likely be the one to come into my house to clean up. She emailed me that she still loved me and that I would always be her dad, but she never wanted to see me dressed. Before this, she would always stop by to say just say Hi, since then, she's never come to my house unless she absolutely had too. And she is withdrawn at family events.

I never will seek out a change unless things change drasticlly, but I am dressing on a regular basis now and I'm thinking about letting my hair grow.

But if I had one bit of advice to tell a parent, I'd say, "It's not your fault your son/daughter is like this. Many times, people who don't have those feelings or thoughts cannot truly understand the pain and suffering that many people go through. The best thing you can do, is offer your support and remind your child that you Love them, every chance you get. You never know when you may lose them, Heaven Forbid."

I doubt that I will reveal myself to anyone else unless one of the youngsters in the family decide they need to come out. If that happens, I'll support them and let them know that they aren't alone and we'll face the world together, but having lost a wife and daughter, despite what they say, I don't need to weigh anyone else down with my true nature. But having said that, if they ask me (it's happened in the past when I got careless), I won't lie any longer either. I will ask them if they are sure they want to hear the answer.

I used to think I was transgendered, but after being here a while, I now think I'm just a crossdresser and happy at that.

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

Jennifer you are not alone. I can relate perfectly to what you wrote about issues with clothing, dating, friends, where I fit in, all of it.

I wish I had some advice for you on how to get your mom to accept you. I have not come out to my parents but I do plan to soon. Please let me know if you figure out how to get your mom to accept you because I fear I may need it very soon.

Best of luck.

Audrey

[Guest Orva26]

I used to think I was transgendered, but after being here a while, I now think I'm just a crossdresser and happy at that.

Eek! If you're happy with being a crossdresser why use the word just? It implies you're less than others AND THAT'S SILLY!

As far as advice for getting a parent's acceptance goes the one time I gave it a go I did terribly and ended renaggling it but it granted insight! It was already mentioned that you should insure that your parents do not feel responsible, or feel that they failed you in some way because of your transgenderism. It is also important to make sure they know that being transgendered does not equate to being a second class citizen. They may be fearful that being TG will put you at such a social disadvantage that the only way to make a living would be an unsavory one. This site might be neat for that.

Good Luck

-Orva

[~Nova~]

Eek! If you're happy with being a crossdresser why use the word just? It implies you're less than others AND THAT'S SILLY!

As far as advice for getting a parent's acceptance goes the one time I gave it a go I did terribly and ended renaggling it but it granted insight! It was already mentioned that you should insure that your parents do not feel responsible, or feel that they failed you in some way because of your transgenderism. It is also important to make sure they know that being transgendered does not equate to being a second class citizen. They may be fearful that being TG will put you at such a social disadvantage that the only way to make a living would be an unsavory one. This site might be neat for that.

Good Luck

-Orva

I think Dawn meant is that she is happy where she. Just meaning not more than rather than not as good as.

To the OP. You are certainly not alone.

Shelly

[Guest Emirī]

I have a step dad when i was young (well i have on know haha) but my step dad was an old school skin head (this is england) kind of thing. and i though i had to lye for so many years about it. After i came out he was sooooo like its ok its mt my mum who dosent understand much but shell come around