What Were/are Your Greatest Fears ?

[Guest N.Chaos]

My absolute biggest fear is having to live like this for the rest of my life. I realized this past week that if that's what I'm resigned to, it won't be very long at least.

Right after that is losing my girlfriend, she's helped me through every kind of hell and while I could live without dating her, I don't think I could without her somewhere in my life.

I'm scared that even after I get the chance to get top surgery I STILL won't pass (which I can't comprehend because before I started trying to pass/knowing I was trans I DID pass naturally, it makes me rage like nobody's business) and it'll drive me even more insane.

Non-transrelated but still a massive fear, I think I'd lose my mind entirely if I went deaf. I've had an insane amount of congestion this past week to where I can barely hear and it's made me realize just how badly that would screw me up if I lost it entirely.

[Guest Gauvain]

I have a lot of fears:

- Losing my friends (so far, it seems I've lost about half)

- Being kicked out of the house and having no where to go

- Being beaten up by people at school (or even family)

- Never getting a good job

- Not being accepted into a good college

- Dying alone

- Not being able to pass

- Never being accepted anywhere by anyone

- Not being able to transition

And there are probably a few others...

Sometimes I can try to forget about a few of them and try to calm myself down and believe it'll be ok, but they always come back and leave me very depressed and not knowing what to do.

[Guest Orva26]

Second time posting in this one!

Right now one of my biggest fears would be loosing people and nullifying my past. I just got back from a good friend's birthday celebration in Albany NY. Driving there was awesome! It was a pretty nice day and the scenery was pretty cool and I was in a general good mood. When I got into town I realized how many fond memories I have attached to that city and to my old university. I had a great time hanging out with everyone but late last night and today when I left came the thoughts of what could happen...

Particularly I'm worried about not being taken seriously. How will these people who knew me when I had a full five inch long beard that I wore with enthusiasm, when I was basically at my manliest, react when I tell them I am transgendered? Will they roar in laughter? That would crush me.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora All,

It would be nice if we could all have our cake and enjoy the taste while eating it, but sadly for many Benjamin’s Syndrome sufferers we can have our cake [fully transition-not necessarily having surgery, perhaps just with the full dosage of HRT] but the taste might not be to ones liking[losing the respect/love of those close to them ] …

For some there’s always the possibility/option of finding a gender specialist who would be prepared to prescribe a low dose of HRT, just enough for ones ‘peace of mind’ but not having any major impact of ones physical appearance… In this way during the daytime they might also dress somewhat ‘androgynously’ just enough to feel ‘comfortable’ when presenting to the general public but not enough to draw ridicule from them and of an evening be more gendered so to speak [provided their SO and or other family members are comfortable with it]…

Of course this would all depend on how ‘dysphoric’ one is regarding ones body and gender identity…

Nothing is permanent, times are also changing …People are becoming more and more informed and to a certain extent more accepting…Some of you might be rejected at first but later down the track acceptance/tolerance could replace the rejection …People often have a change of heart-when given time and space to think…

One has to take into account for some lucky ones they are going to lose little if any of their love ones and friends...

However regardless of the what ifs, if to fully transition is the ‘only’ way, then one must become mentally prepared to ‘detach’ themselves from one set of family and friends and reach out and embrace a new set…It’s a hard thing to grasp for some of you, but if you read the posts of some members here you will find it can be done…One can transition and find a more accepting environment…

Remember “Worry is just paying interest on trouble that might never come!”

“ Mental preparation is the key!”

Metta Zenda

[Guest mary/jason]

pre transition

my biggest fear is that i'm wrong, that this really could all be a "phase". like somehow this whole experience is just hypochondrial in nature and no matter how real it feels somehow its all some sort of mild delusion. not that i care to be one of the other, just after all i've been through i dont want to be wrong.

madison

[Guest Pamela5]

Losing my wife: did anyway because she suspected my GID and now I do not have to hide.

Not passing: luckily I am small and pass quite well although you need to transition anyway if you have GID because you will never be happy living as the wrong gender.

Being rejected:many people will reject you but many will not. I surround myself with supportive people.

Am I sure I have GID: therapy confirmed hell yes.

Will I be alone: turns out there are many like us and those who understand and support us.

If I did not come out and accept that I was female I do not know how I would have survived.

Pam