How Gay Were You?

[~Nova~]

Before and during the transformation, were you looked at like a gay man or woman. I'm pretty girlie and I think I'm getting the, "he's gay" looks. I'm not flaming, I just do girl things.

Did you set off "gaydars"?

xoxox

Shelly

[Guest N. Jane]

The first shrink I saw when I was 15 (1964?) said I was just Gay and should accept myself as such. He had never heard of transsexualism, refused to read about it, and totally discounted me saying "But I'm a GIRL!". He even suggested that I be put on testosterone shots to "make a man of me" but I flipped and threw a tantrum .... end of THAT discussion!

I grew up in a very small town and right from early childhood everybody knew I was "different" but not Gay (as such). I was just totally typical of a quiet and shy little girl, which was at odds with supposedly being male, and I think that left people with only "different" as an adjective.

With the onset of puberty I was attracted to boys and it probably showed but I would never do anything about it or even let on because I knew I wasn't Gay. By my mid teens I was living part time en femme, mostly away from home, and I am sure everyone knew (it is hard to have a secret in a small town LOL!) and I image that is when everyone else figured it out. Years after I left home at age 24 I heard the reaction from my home town via my sister, things like "Well it took her long enough to figure it out!" and "NOW it all makes sense!"

For a backwoods town it was surprising I wasn't just labelled Gay but I guess there was something about me that didn't fit that label either....

[Guest chngnwnd]

I do all the time at work - except for the one person that knows, I hear it is widely believed that I am flaming gay...I forgot how to act male months ago (all the habits vanished) and I am totally unmotivated to develop new ones or even try to act like a guy...

That, and being 5'5" and super skinny with no facial hair leads people to that conclusion.

hugs

Bobbi

[Paula ult]

When i told my good friend about my decision to transition and asked her what everyone thought of me she said they think you are gay, something i had thought for a long time since i never dated or had a gf, in actuality i was asexual and transsexual, however after being in transition 2-1/2 years that has changed to more of me being more bisexual than asexual but strongly leaning toward lesbian, who knows after i have my surgery.

Paula

[Guest Jenni_S]

Well, since I was married just prior to beginning, not many people thought I was gay.

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

In middle school and a little less in high school, i was harrased and called gay. and i have had a few people ask me, and a few family members ask me.

and my employer.

I must really send of a gay vib

[Sally]

I was always a very good actor - I have been acting like a male for 59 years without anyone ever questioning it until I told them that I was really a female and needed to transition and they did not believe me.

I was never considered to be gay by anyone - I never considered myself gay - I have been asexual for my entire life and I feel that it is unlikely to change.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest April63]

Nobody really thought I was gay in middle or high school. But this year some people have said they thought I might have been gay, but I think that is only because most of my friends are girls. I don't really do anything else that would send off a gay vibe.

[Guest Jenth]

I set off more gaydars than I can count, which is unfortunate cause guys completely gross and creep me out. I'm very girly and hyper and I've never seen the purpose to acting like a male.

[guest]

I haven't started transition yet (hopefully within a month I can start hrt ).

But, I have set of gaydar a couple times (which works, because I have only had boyfriends... even though I consider myself bi). I have no problem being different I just think they are missing out!! Guys are great! (((and seriously, nothing can make you feel more feminine than being wrapped up in a really big strong guys arms!!))

[Guest Elizabeth K]

No at all. I was never even approached by gay guys and I was fairly good looking. I asked them about that and they said I didn't have the right aura.

After starting transition though, that androgynous year where you are either/or in the minds of people, I would play the GAY card so I could wear my jewelry, wear somewhat feminine clothes, and grow my hair out. But I am myself now, and everyone sees me as I am.

I have been married to women three times and have three children - if that means anything. I am just not into guys - but...

I do want to know how it feels to make love as a woman after my surgery. My therapist says that makes me bisexual. Whatever...

Lizzy

[Guest ShannonA23]

One thing interesting on this note, my friends never thought I was, but there would be people I would meet for a short time and for some reason they just thought so.

I remember one in particular, my friends mom after meeting me for the first time says to her(my friend), "he is trying way too hard, he's got to be gay".

Though I have to say for the most part I was oblivious, after I came out of course I got the "I knew it" from quite a few people. Some close some not it was kind of funny to see what they noticed

Oh and my mom gave me a I told you so speech because apperently she knew long ago.

Shana

[Guest ShannonA23]

just had an epiphany, none of them were gay. odd fun fact

[Guest Emily Ray]

I think I was labeled different and everyone was confused by me. The older I got the petter I could play the role and it was my friends I made last that were the most surprised. I would rather be with a woman straight, bi, lesbian or a straight man than a gay man. Some admirers have aproached me but they give me the creeps. I don't want to be seen as transsexual but as a woman by my partner. I have been with one woman since being full-time. She thought of herself as Bi but after the experience we learned that we both wanted to be the submisive one. We are best friends and will be for life.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

LOL......No....not at all....never perceived as gay..(until the last couple of years...)

Macho all the way....I played the part very well!

My therapist said that I over compensated and tried to push the female feelings way down...

Heck, I volunteered for a flight job in Vietnam in the Air Force....later I became a pilot, cop, security guard, motorcyclist, macho car builder and I carried guns....

But, now I'm a girly girl....

All better now!

HUGGS

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

.

LOL......No....not at all....never perceived as gay..(until the last couple of years...)

Macho all the way....I played the part very well!

My therapist said that I over compensated and tried to push the female feelings way down...

Heck, I volunteered for a flight job in Vietnam in the Air Force....later I became a pilot, cop, security guard, motorcyclist, macho car builder and I carried guns....

But, now I'm a girly girl....

All better now!

HUGGS

Donna Jean

HA! You think so???

Lizzy

[Guest jamiejcmo]

Was never called gay but all the way thru elementary school and jr. High I was called a p@$$y buy the guys. Then I started acting ultra masculine in high school and all the guys thought I was just a crazy sob. I had more girl friends than guy friends and all the guys thought I was doing all the girls and the girls thought I was " so nice". I was married twice and had children at 17 and 19. So when I came out the guys were shocked and a bunch of girls said " I thought you were just gay". That was the first and only time I was ever called "gay". Jamie

[Guest]

Hi Shelly,

My path is always a bit different. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I had a horrible Napolean complex - that small guy with a big chip on his shoulder. Thanks to various insights, I was able to leave that behind and accept that I'd never be the man. I was perceived as gay sometimes, but more often, just an eccentric nerdy Buddhist wierdo.

Nowadays, I don't see a big shift happening: I don't think I'll ever be the girly girl either. My role model women are my mother and sister, who can look good if necessary, but more at home in hiking boots. And I still am perceived as an eccentric nerdy Buddhist wierdo. It's going to be an interesting year - seeing how far I can go with that personna before the truth comes out...

Love, Kat

[Guest laeta_lacrima]

I have yet to start my transition, and a few people have thought and think I'm gay. My girlfriend's brother calls me the other F-word a lot, and I found out recently from my mom that she thought I was gay. I was trying to hide my femininity when I was little, but I guess a lot of it came out despite my best attempts. It wasn't until I started showing interest in girls that my mom realized I'm not gay.

I'm not hiding my femininity anymore, so I'm sure most of the people who see me think I'm gay. Except for when I'm with my girlfriend, which might confuse some people.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Sometimes it's easier to get acceptance when people think you are gay. Go figure!

Lizzy

[Guest Orva26]

Sometimes it's easier to get acceptance when people think you are gay. Go figure!

I think that's because a lot of people who know nothing of transgenderism still operate thinking the effeminate gay model of it is the only one! Personally that bugs me... people are gonna have a fun time figuring me out being pansexual and all.

Anyway, I don't know if I ever was seriously considered gay, though I was called various degaratory terms for it by the morons who gave me crap in middleschool. Its okay though, most of them are in jail on drug charges now.

[Guest MonikaC]

When I was in elementary school and through jr. high, nearly everyone thought I was gay. In highschool I learned how to play the part and people mostly stopped questioning. Funny thing though, I've been hit on by a couple gay guys recently. So I guess I'm slowly unlearning the macho male role.

[Guest barton]

Back when I was in high school I kept getting the 'It's okay if you're a lesbian' talk from my mum and sister. Oddly enough, it wasn't because of how masculine I was. It was because I didn't show any interest in dating boys. XD

Like I'm going to talk to my mum about my love life. Talk about awkward.

[Guest Mina89]

I was and still am barely ever labeled gay.

I don't act overly masculine or feminine, but I dress kind of drab and barely talk to anyone. I grew my hair long in high school and some of the dimmer upstate rednecks asked me if I was gay. I've never once met a gay guy in person who had long hair though.

Early in elementary school, the boys called me a sissy for only playing with girls and spending time reading instead of hanging out with them. When they tried to beat me up for it, they found out that I fight literally tooth and nail. The comments dropped off soon after.

I think I come off more as a weirdo than gay. Maybe if I talked more, the opposite would be true. I doubt that will be happening anytime soon, though.

-Valerie

[Guest Donna Jean]

Sometimes it's easier to get acceptance when people think you are gay. Go figure!

Lizzy

So very true.......

My last year at work (2010) everyone started to think of me as gay because of my manner of dressing and such....

I found the acceptance for gays was much more wide spread than for Trans...

And I just didn't bother to explain until I came out to all at work...

Then most of them slowly nodded their heads and said.."OHHHhhhhhhhh...that explains it!"

LOL

Donna Jean