Girlfriend Left Me

[Guest Alice_XY]

I was best friends with a girl for 4 years or so? In the past few months we got together...

She left me a few hours ago. She said she's straight and she can't in a relationship with a girl. She said she doesn't want me to ever have to make a choice between being comfortable with my own skin, and her. So we broke up...

It sucks. I knew I'd lose people over this. I never thought i'd lose her...

Just goes to show, life's full of suprises.

Alice xx

[Guest MC Latte]

I'm sorry that happened to you Alice......

My girlfriend of 9+ months decided to break up with me because I decided to transition.

Though where you are at sucks at the moment, realize that in a few months you'll love yourself even more because you are reassured that you will always pick you and your needs over that of others. And if you have that, you can certainly get through life, and find the one you were meant to be with someday.

[~Nova~]

I'm sorry to hear about that, at least you werent married 20 years. You'll move on, you'll find the right person

Shelly

[Carolyn Marie]

Alice, you probably knew in your heart that it would be difficult for your GF to accept this without reservations. It is a lot to expect of anyone, and those whose partners stick it out are very rare.

You were honest with her, and she was honest with you, and sometimes that's the best you can expect.

You will find someone else who can accept you as the woman you are. She is out there, you just need

to find her.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

SUX

But there are others.

Sorry it happened! But better now than later! Why can't people love just US, not our bodies.

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

But there are others.

Lizzy

It's true, but, I know that it hurts right now.....

I'm sorry....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest TracieV3]

I was best friends with a girl for 4 years or so? In the past few months we got together...

She left me a few hours ago. She said she's straight and she can't in a relationship with a girl. She said she doesn't want me to ever have to make a choice between being comfortable with my own skin, and her. So we broke up...

It sucks. I knew I'd lose people over this. I never thought i'd lose her...

Just goes to show, life's full of suprises.

Alice xx

I am sorry to hear about your break up.

But, it sounds like she broke up with you because she viewed that she did not want to stand between you and being yourself.

Probably in her mind, she did it is as an act of selflessness, not as an act of cruelty.

Because of this, you may have not truly 'lost' her. The romantic relationship may be dead, but you may still be able to be friends.

You might able to salvage something from this if you talk to her.

I know things are emotionally raw for you right now, but please don't do anything kneejerk. Try to think things through.

I hope you get to feeling better.

Tracie

[Guest Emily Ray]

Alice,

Relationships will change with everyone we ever knew in life and some times it isn't always the way we want them to. It sux tobe sure, but I believe as Traciie that your friendship will return. I haven't been in a commited relationship for several years prior to my transition and I have to say being single is a blessing when going through this. She is right! You need to find out who you are and become that person and it is a whole lot easier to do when we are not involved with a long term relationship.

A big hugg dear!

Emily

[guest]

You can't really blame her I would be more surprised if she stayed!!

I would probably break up with my partner if he suddenly told me he was trans too! Because... well... a person changes a LOT once they start to address it (what would sex life be like if you started HRT and weren't able to do things anymore? or your sex drive tanked?).

Minor changes you can work through... minor changes are to be expected as someone gets older... but, a complete game changing "oh, my gender is opposite of what you thought!" isn't something a romantic relationship will probably survive.

For her to stick around, she would have to be able to suddenly become a lesbian.. which... you can't really do.

[Sakura]

least she took the high road , and didn't attempt to change you . and she did it with honesty , thats about as good as one could ask for . like ivory said. i would have been more suprized if she had stayed. there is very few relation ships, that survive transition unscathed or unchanged. none more so than romantic relationships. it sucks now but a good way to look at it is , you parted on good terms , so long as neither of you close the door , there is always a chance at mantianing the friendship

Sakura

[Guest KimberlyF]

I agree w/the last few posts. The relationship was new to your friendship and that takes time and commitment which you won't have while transitioning. It's a bit different if maybe you were in a really long term relationship or she was aware from the start. Anyway, right now I think a good natal female friend is more important to your transitioning than relationships. There is always time for those though I know we always long for that connection.

Kim

[JJ]

We sometimes forget that people can't change their sexual orientation any more than we can change our gender. For some people that means the relationship must end when the accept our true gender while others are less binary in their orientation and can establish a new relationship. There is no one to blame there. Just nature and the way we are made.

She sounds like a good person to explain and not to fight your gender and make you both miserable. In time she could realize that she can accept a different relationship. But either way it sounds like she was probably a positive influence in your life.

As long as you can love and accept yourself there will be others who will love and accept you too. This wasn't a rejection of you as a person but a rejection of a sexual orientation that just wouldn't work for her.

I hope your heart heals soon.

Hugs

John

[Guest Mia J]

At least it sounds like she did it in a caring way and hopefully will remain your friend. I understand as many here do how much it hurts because we have been through it. At least you were not married and had not had a long term relationship (many years). My first wife and I also separated primarily over the gender issue. She was supportive and understanding at first but always told me she was straight and not even bi and did not want to have a intimate relationship with a woman. We just can't expect everyone to change who they are as we become who we are.

But there is going to be someone for you. My spouse is the the love of my life and my soul mate.

Mia