Question

[Guest Kristi Lyn]

So are there any other Vets out there that have trouble remembering their past careers in the military that conflict with their current status? To explain everytime I am in a military setting (ie. Veteran's Day ceremonies at the school, or just watching old vids and looking at pictures.) It seems everytime I am in these settings I feel real conflict. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen. Do I walk away from what I was forever or deal with it differently and able to still remember and go on? This is probably my biggest hurdle right now in RLE and transition. I am retired now but something bothers me from the military aspect. Any input is welcome.

Kristi

[Guest sleeping chrysalid]

I have similar feelings but I know that some of the things that I have done were for the purpose of denial. Did you join the military to try and convince yourself that you weren't a woman and to try and become a man? I think my experience in a manufacturing class which is a stereotypical boy's class suggests I am a woman (or at least not a man) more than it suggests I am masculine because I was so out of place in that class. I felt just as out of place as any girl would feel being in a class full of cisgendered males. I only took the class because I was in denial and I was fooling myself and I rationalized it by trying to convince myself that I could use the skills I would learn to make something nice at home but when I got there it made me realize just how far I was from actually being a man. If you joined the military for the purpose of denial then it might actually support your feelings and not conflict with them. Think of what your military experience was like. Did you have trouble just going with it? Did you hesitate or feel uncomfortable acting as a man amoung men? Just because you joined the military does not mean you were a man. Think about your attitudes when in service. Did you have a man's attitude? Did you think like a man? I do not know what your experience was but contrary to what some people may say, joining the military does not turn anybody who isn't a man into one.

[Guest ErinM]

So are there any other Vets out there that have trouble remembering their past careers in the military that conflict with their current status?

No. And YOU shouldn't either. I'm not saying to wear your medals on your dress. But you and I both know, your service helped keep us free. Free to be what we are. And NO ONE, can take away that internal pride... that you EARNED! You did it. No matter the reason. You did it. YOU raised your hand and repeated the pledge. And YOU would have done what might have been needed to be done.

NEVER... NEVER.... NEVER!, take that away from yourself. THAT, was ALL internal, and COMPLETELY separate from any gender issues.

[Guest JenMarie]

I have a hard tim eosmetimes with that. I was a vol. firefighter and did alot of crazy stuff in the Navy. I avoid talking about my service because im woried peopel will think weird about me. Im not totally ok with people knowing im trans as I pass fairly well.