Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

It's Not Even Crossdressing Anymore


Guest Emily H

Recommended Posts

Guest Emily H

Seriously, when I crossdress, its when I take of my panties and slip on some boxers, its when I have a somewhat baggy shirt, no bra to adjust or itch at in one spot, no brushing hair back away from my face. That, is crossdressing. The moment I put on a pair of boxers, it just feels wrong. Uncomfortable. Not...me.

But I do it because I have to, I'm sure most of us feel that way. I used to willingly take of my female clothes when I was younger. I was still confused about it, maybe feeling some guilt from not understanding it?

But seriously, when I put on male clothes, I bet its what guys with no desire to be feminine would feel like putting on female clothes... Its kind of weird to look at it that way.

Link to comment

I've felt like that for years. It built up inside me to the point that I didn't feel comfortable in anything and all I could think about was how I felt so out of place.

I never wear mens underwear anymore, and almost always wear a bra. If I'm not wearing when out, I out it on as soon as I get home.

Good luck

xoxox

Shelly

Link to comment

I had never thought of it that way, but you're right. I come home and the first thing I do is get out of my 'uniform' and put on my 'comfy' clothes. Wig optional but lipstick's a must. Since I work evenings and sleep in the mornings, it's rare that I have to keep up the male image when I get home.

One of the things I have noticed are that women are high maintenance if you want to look good. I never realized how much I touched my face until I started wearing make-up. Women who let their nail polish chip or grow out without touching it up drive me crazy. And dang all the nicks and breaks in my nails. Drives me up the wall until I can get to a pair of nail clippers.

But still, it's just me for the most part and I don't have to impress anyone. So I just relax and enjoy the life I now have. okay, nuff rambling.

dk

Link to comment
Guest Daniel Dee
:rolleyes: Well I find that when I am in my female dress I hate haveing to change.I feel so comfortable and good.Yet once I have I am OK and back in my male role. Sometimes I can't crossdress for days but just get on with my male life as if nothing had changed but admit I can't wait for the next opportunity.I am sure if I could I would like to be in female dress all the time but it isn't possible and when i am my usual male self it's still a great life. One can't have everything but you can enjoy most things if you wish too. Daniel.
Link to comment
Guest Emily H

:rolleyes: Well I find that when I am in my female dress I hate haveing to change.I feel so comfortable and good.Yet once I have I am OK and back in my male role. Sometimes I can't crossdress for days but just get on with my male life as if nothing had changed but admit I can't wait for the next opportunity.I am sure if I could I would like to be in female dress all the time but it isn't possible and when i am my usual male self it's still a great life. One can't have everything but you can enjoy most things if you wish too. Daniel.

I used to kind of feel that way, being fine being in my male role, but as of late....It's becoming less okay for me. I see every and any girl and wish I could have her body and her clothes and her life...good thing I'm not some mythical body-snatching creature, huh?

And by the way Daniel, you are gorgeous, I am jealous ;)

Link to comment
Guest PauletteX

I have to go for a long time between "real" crossdressing stints, of course I get to wear a nightgown while sleeping. I have to dress male and look proper for my job. When I come home, I can't wear a dress in front of my kids! However, I frequently wear women's slacks or shorts, depending on the weather. They don't complain, yet I know the difference! Each day I go out and have to deal with everyones needs, wants and expectations as an expected norm. Some people are crazy and some are even dangerous. Yet, my need to wear a dress and go en femme does not harm anyone nor does it put any burden on society, yet I have to keep it under wraps! Life is an oxymoron.

PauletteX

Link to comment
Guest jessjanet

I guess I feel much the same as Daniel Dee. I just love dressing and while dressed up feel great and sort of wish I could go out, be acceptable to the world. I don't like having to change back into guy mode, usually. I also love to put on some jeans, work boots, etc. and get busy building a deck, or whatever, full man mode. What I detest under all circumstances is the stereotypical american macho attitude. I refuse to participate (I did try to pretend for a long time). Just being me, emotionally, perceptions, attitudes, thought processes, no matter what clothes I am wearing, is what makes my life so liberated and enjoyable. I also suppose I never feel like I am cross dressing. Best of both worlds! The problem comes when I'd rather be en femme but have to stay in man mode because it's not the "right" time. But, one does not get what one want all the time ;)

Kisses,

Jessica

Link to comment

Cross dressing. the word has become kinda silly in the last few months. I agree with others posting before me that it made sense and was a title appropriate or close enough to be for the most part correct. Being in girl mode and going back to guy mode sucks and i can understand the feeling of going in reverse where male mode is now cross dressed. At times i can feel this way too. But most of the time i feel that girl mode or guy mode is both normal mode and non of them are crossed. Girl mode is where i want to be everyday, but i have been guy mode for so long that it is familiar and i don't feel disgust. I am just used to that role.

ummm... while writing i got distracted and have lost my thoughts. Stopping here while i again think of what i was in the midst of saying.

Link to comment

[size="3"]The day I first put on a woman's article was the day I lost interest in men's clothing. I don't wear male underwear anymore. I own more women's clothing.

Gennee [/size]

:D

Link to comment
Guest Daniel Dee

Oh, and I agree with Emily. Daniel Dee, you are a fabulously good looking girl!!

Jessica

Jessica, Thanks for the compliment,it does my confidence no end of good. I agree with all you say especially for me I love to get old clothes on and get stuck into some good hard work outside. SInce I retired some long while ago I have worked outside and up to a year ago worked gardening at the local hospital but they made me retire again so loving outside work so much I volunteer to do it.I'm addicted to work! but it sure keeps one young and healthy.Also I can't ever imagine going to the soccer games, my other great love, other than as a guy. Love daniel

Link to comment
Guest Daniel Dee

I used to kind of feel that way, being fine being in my male role, but as of late....It's becoming less okay for me. I see every and any girl and wish I could have her body and her clothes and her life...good thing I'm not some mythical body-snatching creature, huh?

And by the way Daniel, you are gorgeous, I am jealous ;)

Emily you are far too nice to be a body snatcher and thanks for the real nice compliment, but you aint seen my ugly mug! No kidding I am trying to do something to improve, you know trying makeup but father time is winning that battle. Not that I worry one can only look one's best. Love Daniel

Link to comment

I have had the opportunity over the past couple of years to dress more often (a couple of times a week now). I remember reading somewhere no too long ago that getting more opportunity to explore myself is like letting a genie out of her bottle and she doesn't want to go back. I feel like this is me and I want it so badly to stay. I too see other attractive women and think wow, wow, wow, how I would love to look like that. Being male seems more and more as what I was "supposed" to be and have been trained to be. I have really been struggling lately. My wife is ok with my dressing but has said if I chose to take hormones at some point she couldn't stay. But I love her. And my kids. I don't want to hurt anyone. And then there's the job that would most certainly have major problems and likely terminate me. Am I being selfish in my thoughts? I've got to keep praying that I find a way to find peace with all of this.

Sienna

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Emily that is an interesting way to look at it, and I enjoyed reading everyone's responses. They are just clothes, however they are an extension of ourselves and mode of expression. I have been going into male mode only when I "have to" it seems. Over the last year, I have increased my girl time quite a bit after coming out. This has allowed me to live about 65 / 35 now, it helps that I have a tel-commuter job, as I dress in my home office about everyday. As Sienna says it becomes a genie that does not want to go back in the bottle. It seems to becoming more difficult to not think about transitioning further, I have to keep these thoughts in check. I have been on a buying binge this past 2 months (lots of sales). I just love being the best girl I can be, some days are better than others.

Hugs

Cindy -

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 274 Guests (See full list)

    • Sally Stone
    • Ashley0616
    • TonyTwoTimes
    • mattie22
    • Susie
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaeBe
    • VickySGV
    • MaybeRob
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,085
    • Most Online
      8,356

    blakethetiredracc00n
    Newest Member
    blakethetiredracc00n
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. FullyHart
      FullyHart
    2. MariPosa
      MariPosa
      (65 years old)
    3. pechenezhka
      pechenezhka
      (17 years old)
    4. Rubycd
      Rubycd
      (59 years old)
    5. Yana
      Yana
      (31 years old)
  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      Post 12   “First Kiss”   It was October 29th, 2003.  My dear friend Willa had purchased tickets for the two of us to attend “Red Hot Halloween,” a public Halloween party held at the Sanctuary in downtown Pittsburgh.  The event was a fund raiser benefitting the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force.  It was a great cause but it was also the perfect opportunity to let the adventurous side of my feminine persona have a little fun.    My first question to Willa was: “What should I wear?”    “Are you kidding?” She responded.  “This is your opportunity to be the Sally of your dreams.  I suggest you dress to impress.”   My first thought was to dress naughty.  It was Halloween, so it could be the perfect venue for something with an erotic edge to it.  I thought about going as a dominatrix or a naughty French maid.  After we talked about it, and weighed the pros and cons, Willa and I decided against naughty, and instead, chose to wear the fanciest evening gowns we could find.  Willa bought an expensive, silver sequined gown, and matching high-heels just for the event.  Me, on the other hand, I couldn’t justify spending big bucks on an evening gown for a single event, so I took a less expensive route.  It is amazing what you can find on the sale racks at big department stores when you look hard enough.  For a mere 30-dollars, I found a black, sleeveless column gown with matching bolero jacket.  The dress had a slit up the right leg, and it went all the way to my upper thigh, very sexy.  Being a column dress, it was form-fitting, and hugged my curves like a glove.  To complement my dress, I wore black patent high-heel pumps, a long blonde wig, and a set of long red fingernails.  As I recall, it took me three-hours just to do my makeup.  The end result, though, was worth the effort, because I felt like a million bucks.  It’s so obvious, why girls love dressing up – it’s an unbelievable high!   Inside the club it was a sea of bodies and the costumes were amazing.  At one point, I was standing on a balcony that overlooked the dance floor.  I was nursing a cocktail and watching the crowd.  Suddenly, there was a gentleman standing next to me; I didn’t notice his approach.  He told me I looked fabulous and he offered to buy me another drink.  I declined his drink offer, but we struck up a conversation.  Being a little slow, it took me a while to realize he was hitting on me. I never imagined anyone would ever actually be attracted to Sally, which I think contributed to my cluelessness.  So, I was shocked, and initially, a little creeped out as well.  After all, I wasn't into guys, and this was new to me.  As we continued talking, and he kept throwing accolades my way, I went from being uncomfortable to actually being flattered.    The event, being an AIDS fund raiser, had me assuming this guy was hitting on me because he was gay, and he thought I was, as well.  I wanted to set the record straight, so I casually mentioned that I wasn’t gay.  To my amazement, he responded by saying: “neither am I.”  Okay, now what was I supposed to do?  I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t want to send the wrong message either.  While I was trying to decide how to tell him I wasn’t interested, he asked if he could kiss me.  Not sure what I was thinking at that moment, I said “okay.”  He kissed me, and as strange as it was, I gave into it, not pulling away or disengaging.  It wasn’t a super passionate kiss, but it was more than a friendly peck on the lips, and I actually enjoyed it.  When we separated; however, I got the sense his passion had cooled.  I could only assume that my response to his kiss sent some kind of message that I wasn’t interested.    Whatever it was he picked up on, it let me off the hook, and I didn’t have to rebuff any further advances.  For this I was grateful, but at the same time, I was actually a little disappointed.  Clearly, I wasn’t going to lead him on, but it was so gratifying to know I had sparked his interest.  Despite his diminished passion, and his obvious realization I wasn’t going to be his girl, he remained the perfect gentleman.  We chatted for a few minutes more, then he gave me the nicest smile.  Again, he commented on how terrific I looked.  Then he added, “maybe I’ll see you later.”    It was hard for me to reconcile how I could have garnered the attention of a man.  In my mind’s eye, I knew my feminine presentation didn’t completely mask my birth sex, so why would a self-proclaimed straight guy actually be interested in me?  Had it been the only time something like this would happen, I would have chalked it up to random chance.  But it wouldn’t be the last time a man would hit on me.  It doesn’t happen often, but it still occurs more than I would have guessed, and I'm always surprised.    I have never asked, but I have always been curious to know my would-be suitor’s motivations.  Were they hitting on me simply because they happened to be fond of trans women, or was their attraction triggered by connecting with my inner woman?  And, however unlikely, did they mistake me for a cis woman?  I guess it really doesn’t matter much one way or the other, because ultimately, I’m not looking for any kind of a relationship.  However, I’d be fibbing if I said I wasn’t at least a little interested in another opportunity to get kissed.   Hugs,   Sally
    • Ivy
    • Betty K
      Thanks Davie! And don’t worry, I didn’t take it that way. It’s just such a big topic I can only hope to tackle it one bit at a time.
    • KathyLauren
      This is not uncommon.  I started out going to the therapist in androgynous clothing: from the women's department, but plausibly masculine.  What made it easier was when I started going to a trans peer support group.  Most of the people there were presenting fully feminine, so I looked out of place in my androgynous clothing.  The peer pressure made it easier to dress in skirts.   I started out changing in a gender-neutral bathroom near the meeting room.  But I soon started wearing skirts in the car to and from the meetings.   Yes, it was nerve-wracking at first, but I soon realized that no one was looking and no one cared.    You can do this.
    • ClaireBloom
      In my last session my therapist is starting to suggest that I need to start exploring my gender identity in a more tangible way through wearing feminine clothing at least during sessions.  I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around her seeing me actually en femme.   I love and trust her, but the thought of being visibly feminine is scaring (and thrilling) me.  Is this a common thing in gender therapy?  How do I get past the fear?  More importantly, what should I wear? 
    • Davie
      USA doctors denounce Cass Report, support trans folks.  The Endocrine Society And American Academy Of Pediatrics Respond To Cass, Reject Bans. In recent weeks, the Cass Review out of the United Kingdom has been used to argue for bans on care. The Endocrine Society and American Academy of Pediatrics respond, rejecting such arguments. —Erin Reed https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/endocrine-society-and-american-academy?publication_id=994764&post_id=144592467&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true
    • Vidanjali
      Congratulations on your new family member!
    • Ashley0616
      I felt the urge to date and felt just like a teenager again. I have recorded my journal titled Ashley's Life From Start to Present. I was very moody and agitated and happy. I think it was my body's way of being in shock. After about two months it got better. Remember that you aren't the only one transitioning because your wife is too. Consider yourself lucky because I lost mine because of it and so have many others. Just enjoy the ride. 
    • Vidanjali
      Hello & welcome, Blake! It is indeed cool to be here. I've found support and a lots of genuine, good folks here. I hope you enjoy. Look forward to hearing more from you.
    • Ivy
      Welcome Blake
    • VickySGV
      Welcome to the Forums Blake!! 
    • blakethetiredracc00n
      Hi Im Blake, Im ftm and use he/they pronouns. I like Homestuck, Music and Gaming. Ive been out for about a year lol seems cool to be here! 
    • Mmindy
      I'm sorry for asking so many questions about your situation. I'm in your camp and believe you should be able to be whoever you feel you need to be. I guess it the Union Shop Stewart coming out in me. I want you to be treated fairly as well as respectably. You're human, you're a client of theirs. Especially if you're paying money to be there.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Birdie
      I'm not sure the time frame.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Views, terminology, and aspects of how events came to be....aren't those directly related to the news item?  If not, I'm rather confused.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...