Does Anyone Regret Their Srs?

[Guest Leah1026]

Good Luck Roxanne and I hope it all works out for you.

[Guest LizMarie]

Good luck, Roxanne! I hope everything turns out for the best for you!

[elliemckay]

I'm over three years post-op and definitely have no regrets. I just wish I had done it sooner. Everything works as it's supposed to but it was painful for the first two yesrs, to be honest. But even so, it sure is better than all the crazy stuff I used to do to tuck and hide. It also just seems completely normal and natural to me. Quite frankly I've forgotten what it was like before, and I'm completely OK with that.

[Guest Roxanne]

All in. I sent my deposit to Dr. Miro's bank account and booked a flight to Belgrade, Serbia. Surgery is May 21st, 2013.

[Sakura]

The idea of post op regret is something that highly interests me namely now that srs is looking more and more likely to be on my horizons very soon. what causes it. how to avoid it. I have spent months now reading stories. and comparing other against my self ( in the sense of , where it went wrong for them) trying to be sure, that i am not making the same mistakes they are, some seem to take this as me showing signs of regret in my self. in fact it is me taking inventory. i have a million and one reasons to get srs i just want to be sure that there is no 1 huge reason why i should not. as it was said to me by a lady much wiser than my self " now is the time for you to make good decisions "

my heart goes out for every one of them , that allowed them selves to be led astray

The only thing i feel would cause me to regret having srs, would be a major medical complication as a direct result of the surgery. I know for certain that i am going to get nailed when it comes to the post op depression. i got it bad after my BA. I know the exact cause though . being immobile and the loss of my independance while i was in recovery being the biggest culprit. i felt frail and helpless..... not feelings i am used to feeling. and not looking forward to again. the only thing i really find off putting about the op is the dilation and how time consuming i hear it is for the first several months.

I know now srs is the right decision for me , based on honest self evaluation and the help of my therapist. so * crosses fingers* if my plans do not fall threw i expect to be having srs or hope to any way some time next year.

Sakura

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Sakura, I do not believe that thoughtful consideration your motives for SRS is at all a sign of doubt. I think anyone who just blindly rushes into any of these things is probably just asking for problems like post op regret. I feel the same way, I have spent a lot of time researching the same things even though SRS is still a ways off yet for me. I still don't want to rush into things I might regret later, even though I absolutely hate my male genitalia so I am almost completely sure SRS is for me. That said I'm still going to be careful approaching it.

So I definitely think your approaching it in the exact right way.

[Guest Leah1026]

my heart goes out for every one of them , that allowed them selves to be led astray

Slow down there young lady. That isn't what happened to Roxanne. In the ten years I've been active in the community she's been the lone case of true surgery regret I've known. Remember she's happy with her life since transition except the surgery. She wasn't led astray by anyone, sometimes these things happen; it's rare, but it does happen.

The only thing i really find off putting about the op is the dilation and how time consuming i hear it is for the first several months.

I know now srs is the right decision for me , based on honest self evaluation and the help of my therapist. so * crosses fingers* if my plans do not fall threw i expect to be having srs or hope to any way some time next year.

Sakura

That is what is important here. Not what happened to someone else, but if it's what you need.

As far as the first couple months of recovery go... YES, it is intense, but also exciting and psychologically healing (Finally whole!).

[VickySGV]

Leah, & Megan, this is the only choir I wll ever get to join, but a definite AMEN to the first couple months being a real dilly!!

[Guest sarajayne]

I have no regrets at presenting myself as the gender I have always known myself to be and only wish I had had the determination to publicly do this much earlier in my life. Certainly I don't regret going for my SRS but have largely always regarded this to some degree cosmetic and just one of the hurdles (although a major one) I had to surmount) towards making me feel more complete as a woman. I think the point is that SRS in itself did not change my gender I consider myself always to have been female. My only regrets are the difficulties and damaged relationships I brought on my family and some of my friends.

[Guest Roxanne]

We can rebuild her. We have the technology.

In exactly one week (and a few hours) from today I'll be flying to Serbia for my surgery. It's on the 21st. I'll let everyone know how it goes / journal it.

[Guest]

We can rebuild her. We have the technology.

In exactly one week (and a few hours) from today I'll be flying to Serbia for my surgery. It's on the 21st. I'll let everyone know how it goes / journal it.

Best wishes to you, Roxanne! Yes, please do keep us posted!

Love, Megan

[Guest Kaylee234]

Danielle Berry was a role model of mine in my youth, having been interested in a career in computer programming for most of my life. She is quoted (much to my chagrin) as having regrets about fully transitioning:

"Being my 'real self' could have included having a penis and including more femininity in whatever forms made sense", she would later write. "I didn't know that until too late and now I have to make the best of the life I've stumbled into. I just wish I would have tried more options before I jumped off the precipice."

Hers may be a case of moving too fast, as she transitioned after a windfall due to the popularity of the games she programmed. We'll never know; we lost her in 1998.

Her regrets I don't think* influenced me or caused me to postpone my own inevitable transition. And it makes me sad to think that she regretted it. There's not a doubt in my mind that I won't regret mine.

*when referring to things that happened during that time in my life, there is a lot of uncertainty. I was pretty messed up for a long, long time.

~ Kay

[Guest Zeda]

@Kaylee: I have been cautious, too, because I held the thoughts of Alan Turing in high regard. He was forced to take feminizing hormones because he was gay and he reported mental cloudiness. It is speculated that his death (which appeared to be suicide) was due to depression at losing his mental clarity. This used to scare me and was a real deterrent until I realised:

-He was forced to do this - he didn't want it.

-He probably was depressed since he went from being a fairly successful human to being a prisoner, first to be drugged due to not wanting to be untrue.

- I already have some pretty bad mental fog and only the occasional bout of clarity. I imagine that the hormones would help with my current pseudo-depression (I wouldn't call it depression, but it is similar) and that would help lift the fog. I really crave those bouts of clarity that I seem to get rarely.

[Guest Sarah Faith]

@Kaylee: I have been cautious, too, because I held the thoughts of Alan Turing in high regard. He was forced to take feminizing hormones because he was gay and he reported mental cloudiness. It is speculated that his death (which appeared to be suicide) was due to depression at losing his mental clarity. This used to scare me and was a real deterrent until I realised:

-He was forced to do this - he didn't want it.

-He probably was depressed since he went from being a fairly successful human to being a prisoner, first to be drugged due to not wanting to be untrue.

- I already have some pretty bad mental fog and only the occasional bout of clarity. I imagine that the hormones would help with my current pseudo-depression (I wouldn't call it depression, but it is similar) and that would help lift the fog. I really crave those bouts of clarity that I seem to get rarely.

I think everyone should take time to reflect on their life, and their motivations as they take the next big step in transition. As I've said before even though I've been trans my entire life I spent the days leading up to actually getting started on HRT reflecting on how my life was, and the dangers of HRT. I wanted to be absolutely sure that it was the right thing for me if I was going to risk my health.

I imagine when the time for surgery comes I'll go through the same process, even though I know I am sure.. I still think its important to reflect on such major decisions because we really only get to make them once.

Sarah

[Guest Kaylee234]

@Kaylee: I have been cautious, too, because I held the thoughts of Alan Turing in high regard. He was forced to take feminizing hormones because he was gay and he reported mental cloudiness. It is speculated that his death (which appeared to be suicide) was due to depression at losing his mental clarity. This used to scare me and was a real deterrent until I realised:

-He was forced to do this - he didn't want it.

-He probably was depressed since he went from being a fairly successful human to being a prisoner, first to be drugged due to not wanting to be untrue.

- I already have some pretty bad mental fog and only the occasional bout of clarity. I imagine that the hormones would help with my current pseudo-depression (I wouldn't call it depression, but it is similar) and that would help lift the fog. I really crave those bouts of clarity that I seem to get rarely.

I had never heard this about Turing. Now I'm going to have to look it up myself That'll give me something to do at work lol

I'm not sure I'd call it clarity, but since starting HRT there are periods of time I feel absolutely euphoric. Of course, there are times I cry my eyes out for no reason.

I think everyone should take time to reflect on their life, and their motivations as they take the next big step in transition. As I've said before even though I've been trans my entire life I spent the days leading up to actually getting started on HRT reflecting on how my life was, and the dangers of HRT. I wanted to be absolutely sure that it was the right thing for me if I was going to risk my health.

I imagine when the time for surgery comes I'll go through the same process, even though I know I am sure.. I still think its important to reflect on such major decisions because we really only get to make them once.

Sarah

I totally agree, though in retrospect I wish I hadn't reflected on my life quite so long.

I haven't dwelled very long on my own SRS. I'm still at least a year or two away from my reckoning, so it's not worth thinking too much about. I know I won't regret getting it done, though. So I seriously doubt there'll be any second thoughts on my part.

~ Kay

[VickySGV]

Kay-- Take it from one who NOW knows, there will be moments of second thought beginning the minute the anesthetic wears off, and heading on for the weeks of recovery and healing. They will cross your mind like a child's scribbling on a magazine page, and will keep the euphoria of surgical finality from being too heady. Beware all ye who enter here!! The thoughts as I pictured are momentary and not fully a part of thinking, but accept them as something to be expected and you do heal and recover well. Just assured that "NEVER" never happens.

[Guest Zeda]

@Kay: That is the tough balance. Make the jump and risk being wrong and have regrets, or wait and find out that you were definitely trans and wish you would have started sooner. If I had started my transition when I was 18, I could have avoided some of the more recent masculinisation of my body (puberty started playing catch up in the past few years). However, my emotional state at the time (and currently) wasn't conducive to making such important decisions. Now there are other factors preventing me, but I am more certain of what I want.

@Vicky: Yes, I guess second thoughts would definitely pop up quite a bit. Then again, our community is home to many second-thinkers ^^

[Guest Roxanne]

Well the unthinkable happened. I had surgery, woke up ok the first day, the next morning they woke me up for an emergency procedure because I had a blood clot and they needed to try to save the phallus.

They did. They kept me in the hospital 10 days and everything seemed fine, then I was in the apartment for 3 days and the last day I was there things weren't going so well. Necrosis. They did another emergency procedure to save the phallus but they couldn't

I am young (32), healthy, do not smoke, drink, use drugs, or have any underlying health problems. I exercise and am at worst marginally overweight. Apparently just really bad luck. If I go back it's free but I have to wait 6 months (maybe more because of work)

[Guest LizMarie]

I am so sorry, Roxanne. At least you have a future option once you recover fully.

[Guest Roxanne]

I am so sorry, Roxanne. At least you have a future option once you recover fully.

Yes and it is free too.

[Guest Kaylee234]

OMG Roxanne I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine the anguish you feel from being so close to your goal. I hope that 6 months from now you are able to return and complete your surgery.

*hugs*

~ Kay

[Guest Roxanne]

*hugs Kay* thanks.