A Little Scared But Why?

[Guest doodle]

I met some one who said I could get surgeries through my health plan. My therapist hooked us up. any way now I've got the okay from my insurance company and now I scared. I want what I want so bad but oh gosh. I'm such a big chicken. I'm not going not do it but I worry so much. I'm such a mess all the time. omg I hate my life.

Kelly

[Guest Orva26]

Personally being scarred by intensive surgery is normal. You are not being a big chicken, rather a rational person. I would be more worried if your reaction was to run to the nearest surgeon and get things done 5 minutes after you found out about the insurance. So don't beat yourself up over being sensible.

[Guest kelise]

Sweetheart, nerves are completely normal. When I found out I could get my surgery covered, I was scared to death. Of course it was drown out by my jumping up and down and screaming for joy!

The big issue here is discovering the real reason behind your fear. I want you to ask yourself, am I scared of the surgical risks I'm taking, the massiveness of this step, or is it the possibility of making the wrong choice? The first two are natural, talk to your therapist if you feel the need to, and discuss the risk factor with your surgeon during consultation. The third is the worrisome one. This you should DEFINITELY discuss with your therapist and DO NOT move forward with surgery plans until this fear is alleviated. That is the one fear I did not have. From the moment I found out there was such thing as SRS, I knew I needed it, period, end of story. To this day, I have never once considered that I possibly made the wrong choice because I didn't, this was for me, and that was that.

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

You can get SRS surgery covered by your health insurance? How would I go about finding out if mine does?

I agree with what Kelise said, but truthfully I think I would be jumping up and down if I found out my insurance covered any surgeries. But perhaps it is because it is still so far into the future.

I hope you feel better!!!

Audrey

[JJ]

Kelly, it seems to me just because we are trans have have been swimming against the stream so to speak all of our lives it seems that we mess everything up or everything goes wrong for us. I can understand that feeling. I think most of us can but it isn't some dark cloud over us or some curse that makes everything go haywire-it's just that we were always trying to do what couldn't be done and be what we were not.

Of course it's scary. Very scary, but if the fear is from the feeling that something will go wrong then look at what caused it and remember that things really can go right for you when you are doing the right things. If it is a fear of surgery then you can work through it. The fear is worse than the reality. Always.

But if it is fear of going through with becoming a woman in body as well as mind? Then don't do it yet. This is one thing you need to be sure about. Some of us need to go as far as possible, others don't. But whatever it is I am sure your therapist can help you work it out.

And whatever you decide is fine.

Hugs

John

[Paula ult]

Kelly, first of all congrats on having SRS covered by your insurance, i am working on my company too, if you were not scared of the surgery i think we all would be concerned, i will not sugarcoat it, this is major surgery, once it is gone it is gone, you need to talk to your therapist about what scares you, if you have any reservations about needing the surgery step back and reexamine your decision, maybe a year ago i wrote something similar to what you wrote, my surgery is coming up in 70 days and though i am scared, it is more what if something goes wrong, not that i need it.

Paula

[Guest kelise]

You can get SRS surgery covered by your health insurance? How would I go about finding out if mine does?

Audrey

You call them and ask. I did it as a larf and go figure, they said yes

[Guest doodle]

I don't know what to say. thanks everybody. of course I'm going to go through with it. with out a doubt.

I just start to cry when I think abut huw long i have waited and how long oh well. I didn't believe it could happen . not to me. after everything being homeless at one time everything . I did talk to my GT and begin to work things out. I've been so depressed , flat on me back in bed. Just going to work. this was suppose to best thing that can happen and I'm so sad.

Kelly