Cannot

[Guest Lily P.]

hey' this is my first post in this forum

i thought this up in school today, lets just say i was having a bad day.

Cannot

my life is my illusion

it keeps you trapped in a delusion

that i am what i am not

while i imitate what i never was

and wish for what i cannot have

[JJ]

Very good and very evocative!

Thank you for sharing it. I know it will resonate with everyone who reads it.

John

[Guest Blindheart]

nice little poem.

just a tiny critique, i would change the "you" in the second line to "me". that would seem to flow better with all the "I"s and "My"s you used on other lines.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

I liked it...very nice!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest indiefem]

I liked the 'you' in that line. It made sense to me in the context, keeping other people trapped in a delusion of who exactly they think we are and expect us to be! Good poem!

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Lily,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to the poetry forum

I like your poem it is short and right to the point

Hope to see more of you here

vanna