Any Older Ftms? (40+)

[JJ]

Hi Ryan. Thank you-I just wish I had had the foresight to bookmark or save the pages somewhere. I was so involved in research I though I'd go back later I guess.

The information about transgender coverage is somewhere on the Medicare and/or Health and Human Services websites. Someone else told me first and I verified it there. The coverage may be initially denied but if so the provider just needs to ask for the special trans health care code to override the systems anti-fraud gender coded care rejection defaults. Some think they are aimed at denying us care but they very specifically are not.

This is something that you would need to specifically discuss with the surgeon you choose because some just may nit want to jump through those hoops. I have not had the surgery because it does not cover the travel and stay in motels etc and that will be more than I can afford from where I live right now. But i is still far less than I would be out for the surgery and I WILL find a way somehow this year. My chest is a huge issue for me and building pecs has actually really ramped it up.

Johnny

[Guest Ilan]

I'm 43, always IDed queer/trans/butch but just started T about a year ago. Glad to see so many guys around my age on here.

[Guest Gabriel1019]

Hello everyone

I know this is an old thread but want to say that it is so great to see so many transmen my age. Johnny you are such an inspiration WOW!

I am 45 and have been on T for 18 months. Post top surgery 6 months. If anyone would like information about my surgeon/surgery ( Atlanta,GA) I would be happy to share. Again great to know you guys are out there.

Gabe

[Guest Jtlloyd64]

Hi, I am Jamie & this is my 1st post....I haven't even done my intro yet.

I turn 50 in a few weeks & have yet to take the 1st step.

I have known since I was 5 that I was a boy. Over the years I have cut myself off from what I know now, my very supportive family.

I am glad to know there is still hope for as I grow closer to 50 I have begun to feel like there was none.

I had at one time hoped that by 45 I would at least have my name legally changed, started T & had top surgery.

Where I live ( Texas ) I have not found much support or resources so I am hoping to find it here.

I am looking forward to getting to know others & maybe even some resources.

Take care all will be back on soon.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Jamie. Glad to meet you. I do look forward to future posts of yours, and please know that you are among friends who've been where you are. We understand what you are going through.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Ravin]

Welcome, JT!

I'm a bit younger (36), but I understand the waiting game. What part of the state ate you in? I was just researching my hometown area (Amarillo) for resources because I plan on coming out to my family who all live out there next month.

[JJ]

Hi Jamie

Welcome to the forums. Seems like we have quite a few Texans here. I haven't lived there in about 14 years but grew up in Texas and am 5th generation Texan. Right now I live in Arkansas which has no resources to mention so I understand the frustration you feel. I grew up in the Lubbock area but have also lived near Austin.

I didn't start transition till 63 and because of where I live needed to live full time awhile before changing my name which I hope to do in the next month. I've been on T for 2 years ad 11 months now. Living full time for just over 3 years and seen and accepted as male universally for about 27 months. You still can do it-and one great thing about it is that we look and feel far younger than cis guys our age usually. Most people guess me 20 years younger. I've actually had to provide ID to get senior rates a few times and when my daughter and her S/O and I are together people usually assume I'm her husband and he is her father-he's 43. When she says "my husband" in conversation they always look at me and when she says "my father" they look at him. Drives them crazy but I get a kick out of it. .

We have quite a few other Texans here and hopefully someone will know of resources in your area. There is also a resources list-including therapists by state on a link from the main site page.

Glad to have you here

Johnny

[Guest Jtlloyd64]

Thanks everyone !

I live near Houston & know there is a big community there, but I have reached out to them & found no help.

Johnny, did you have to do therapy before you could start T ?

I know very little about the process & what needs to be done in what order...& then there's the whole finding a Dr. that will give it.

Personaly I would like to be on T for a few months before I start fully living as a man.

I picked a gender nutral name for that reason...& I just alway's liked the name. right now when I am in public it's about 1/2 & 1/2

between ma'am & sir. My partner is worried about after I start living as a man getting a job with my name & gender being diff.

has anyone ran into this & how did you handle it ?

Well got to get ready for work. Next time I get on I will do a full intro !!

Take care all & Thanks again.

Jamie

[Guest Jtlloyd64]

Hi, my name is Jamie.

Where to begin......

I have known since I was 5 that I was a boy, unfortunately my body is female.

For many years I just thought I was a freak, then I learned about “ gay “ so surely

that was me. I started relationships with woman, but still something was not right.

I had always dreamed of growing up getting married to a woman, having kids.

A husband & a father...that's all I ever wanted. But gay ppl can't do that, besides again I still

felt frustrated, angry, this isn't my life....I am NOT gay & I am tired of living in a closet.

I didn't & don't fit in anywhere.....I am not a female & I am not a man, not on the outside anyway.

I finally learned about FTM....it was very late in life, I am almost 50 now.

I have tried for the last 10 years to find a way to start transitioning.

I have a wonderful partner of 12 years who supports me, but does not fully understand.

She identifies as being a lesbian as much & strongly as I do being a man...so what does that

make her she asks. I have little financial resources & have found NO resources here in Texas.

I feel more frustrated & angry as ever before.

I feel like I have spent my whole life living someone else's life, I am so tired & weary.

I am hoping this forum will help bring me new hope, friends & resources.

I am looking forward for once in a very, very long time.

Sincerely,

Jamie

[Guest Seoirse]

Hi-

Thanks Johnny for starting this thread. It is hard to find community as an older FTM and your story is encouraging. Thanks for staying present.

I knew I was a boy from my earliest sense of self. I started cutting school in 3rd grade every time my mother would force me to me wear a dress.

When forced to face "reality" I tried to do what was expected within my capabilities. I married briefly and had a daughter but then took on a butch lesbian role.

I worked long hours in a traditionally male job, wore men's clothes, had men's hobbies and denied the rest.... until recently.

I started therapy in January. Sometimes I think I want to start T tomorrow and some days my old friend depression paralyzes me. I do believe I am headed for transition, though, as exciting and scary as it is.

Approaching "Puberty, The Sequel" at age 56.