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I Am Stuck And Don't Know What To Do


Guest NickieVega

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Guest Emily Ray

Nickie,

Many of the fears you mentioned are the same ones we all have delt with. I can only say that your chances of being the pretty girl you want to be and imagine you would be are higher the younger you are. I can assure you that if you are the girl in the avatar you will be so pretty that a line of men will be following you around.

The process is long and designed to keep those who it isn't appropriate for from screwing up your life. I knew with out a doubt that I was on the right track within days of starting my HRT! It felt so wonderful to have the right fuel for my mind running through my body. It was probably the spiro that had a more immeadiate effect in blocking the wrong fuel from my brain. If you aren't a TS and I'm nott saying one way or another it will become clear and you can go on to live your life as a he without this doubt. That is why I think it is important for you to tell your Mom so she can get you the help you need to figure this stuff out.

Huggs

Emily

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Guest NickieVega

@Emily - The whole process of beginning the HRT and Therapy and what not , do they evaluate how you will look once your a female or tell you how you will look or tell you straight up with like a 90% chance of hope that you are qualified to be a female? Because I am afraid of messing up :X

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Guest Emily Ray

The process begins with you finding a Gender Therapist. She or he will hellp you sort out your thoughts. It is recommended that at somepoint you begin to attend the sessions as a your chosen gender. This is to help you be sure you are indeed headed in the right direction. You will have an opportunity to see yourself dressed as a girl and will know that it will only get better from there with the help of HRT. After a few months, every GT is different, she will write a letter recommending you for HRT. She may have an endocrinologist that she has worked with in the past or you may need to find one on your own. That Dr will run some blood tests and baring any bad information you will be prescribed Estrogen and spironaldactone an anti-androgen. Everyones resopnse to HRT varies. You can look at your Mother, Aunts, and female cousins for an idea of how you will look. I look very much like my mother. I do hope to have bigger breasts than her, but at the moment that hope is fading.

You will end up looking like a sister you never had. Everything works better the younger you start. It doesn't look like you are yet shaving everyday if at all and to start before that happens will make it all much cheaper for you.

Huggs

Emily

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Guest NickieVega

@Emily - For some reason, I can barely grow armpit hair or facial hair (YAY!!, I hate hair anyway!!) It seems like I have a hair growing problem :S Do I have to act like I have a girl voice or do I talk in my normal voice?

Will the Estrogen make my voice higher? Will it alter my voice at all? :S

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Guest NickieVega

Also, How can I get the money to do all of this? :X At the moment I do not have a job but I am looking for 1 like no tomorrow. :X

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Guest Emily Ray

I can't suggest a way to get the money to do all of this. I was never very good with money! Are you planning on going to college some have used their ability to get student loans and live at home while going to college to pay for things. If you do go to college your student insurance should cover the GT as depression therapy. HRT to can be covered by a hormonal inbalance.

If you had good grades and high SAT scores and can get into a university of california school their insurance pays for everything including SRS

If you have no job skills and need to find a job I suggest Job Corps. They will teach you a skill and help you to transition into a life on your own with a job and an apartment.

Huggs

Emily

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Guest NickieVega

@Emily - Well, I am in High School and am a bit of an under achiever because I am told that I am "smarter then the average person, you just don't work up to your full potential" which is true. I am a lazy kid :S

Will Estrogen make my voice sound more feminan? :3 Or will I have to pretend :o

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Guest JaniceW

Will Estrogen make my voice sound more feminan? :3 Or will I have to pretend :o

Hi Nickie,

Wow everything is coming at you pretty fast. Just be sure to slow down and relax, this process is not a sprint but a marathon. All of the details you are asking about will become more important as you progress through the process overall, trying to figure them all out right now will just be overwhelming for you. Once you get involved with a gender therapist they can give you advice and help you to plan for all the details that would be involved with whatever you figure out is the right path for you to take. Most of this varies from person to person so there not always pat answers to the questions.

As for your voice, well estrogen will not change your voice, but that doesn't matter because our voices are trainable and we can change our voices with practice. A question for you, has your voice changed from puberty yet? If not then you are in good shape already. If you do some research on feminizing your voice you will find that voice pitch is only one small part what make one's voice sound feminine. Phrasing of sentences, choice of words, inflection and intonation are all very important aspects of a feminine voice. For example think of Cher, she has a very deep voice but it is not at all masculine because of all those other things about how she talks.

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Guest Emily Ray

Oh I forgot to answer that! No estrogen will not help your voice get higher. Nor will you have to pretend to talk like a girl. You can however learn to talk with a higher pitch and change your intonation and speak softly and breathily and that will all ad up to sounding like you are a girl. I was able to change my voice with just a little bit of effort. Stop smoking if you are! That was the hardest thing for me to do. There are cd's that you can buy to help you raise your voice and after awhile it becomes second nature and you don't need to think about it anymore.

I have found it was difficult to get that excited over schoolwork because I wasn't doing it for me but rather for him and I just didn't care all that much about him. I was told many times I was the smartest one in the class and I just didn't try hard enough. I can also tell you that as I began living for me I cared more about me and I am no longer "Lazy." We are not ourselves in male mode. We don't even know who we are before we begin to transition. It is the most wonderful thing to live and learn about ourselves finally after years of hiding even from ourselves.

Huggs

Emily

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Guest NickieVega

@Emily and Janice - That sucks so much! I was hoping my voice would become more feminan! :D

But, ever since I was a little kid, I would play on this thing called Xbox Live and would change the pitch of my voice and the way I talk to be a girl ;) I had everyone fooled and only did it when my parents weren't home! :D GAWD THIS IS SO EXCITING!!! :D

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Guest NickieVega

So, not even like 5 minutes ago I went up to my mom and was like "Hey mom, do you know what HRT is?" She was like.. "No O_o..."

I wanted to tell her SO SO SO bad considering my dad is away and I don't have to worry about him, but I can't do it!! :X

Why can't I do it :X Why can't I just be like "This is me, if you don't like it, so be it!" :(

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Guest NickieVega

Can someone please tell me if they think my plan is good?

In New Jersey, there is a thing called State Testing where you have to take a State Test during Junior year and it determines on whether or not you graduate or something like that. Now, here are my 2 plans/scenarios.

If I PASS the State Testing:

If I pass the State Testing I will start to take HRT or start Therapy towards the beginning or middle of Senior year. (It depends on how much my body will change over 1 year/half a year).

If I FAIL State Testing:

If I am going to have to stay in school longer, I will start to take HRT/Therapy near the end of Senior Year or towards the middle of Senior year.

Do my plans sound good? :)

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Guest NickieVega

I have a quick question..

Do I have to grow my hair out long if I want girl looking hair? Do I need hair transplants? Or do I just use a wig? O_O Can anyone help me out? :3

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Guest JaniceW

Do I have to grow my hair out long if I want girl looking hair? Do I need hair transplants? Or do I just use a wig?

Yes!

How's that for an answer? ;)

Nickie you can do whatever your heart desires with your hair. You can grow it or cut it or cover it with a wig or add extensions to it. You can curl it or straighten it or dye it pink or paint it blue or anything your heart desires.

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Guest NickieVega

@Janice - Lol! ;) I just really want to look as much as girl as possible! ;) So I wanna have close to real girl hair ;) Does Estrogen increase your head hair growth? :3

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Guest Emily Ray

That is one of those your milage may vary things that no one can answer before hand. It will stop male pattern balding and I have had some regrowth of hair that was receeding. I have a secret to tell you I'm not a true redhead! No, I'm not even a brunette anymore. If I stopped dying it you would see a grey haired old lady! I'm not ready for that! The next time I have my hair done I am going to have it dyed a deep burgandy and put Hot pink highlights on one side of my bangs. Why? Because I am a girl and I can do whatever I want with my hair! I love being a redhead it is the one sign that says treadlightly while dealing with this girl! Red being the universal color of warning!

Huggs

Emily

PS hair grows at about 1/2 inch per month maybe alittle faster the younger you are and a little slower the older you are. Eat healthy and you will have healthy hair. Oh one more good thing about estrogen, it should lower any acne problems you might have as a result of the huge amounts of T coursing through your body.

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Guest NickieVega

I know this is going to happen.

I know I am going to lose some friends from this. I am hoping most of the girls I tell end up staying with me through the whole process. Is it easier to make friends as a girl? Lol :)

Anyone have any tips as to how they got through this situation? Of losing friends during/before/throughout your transition?

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Guest Emily Ray

I will tell you my experience. I know it is rarer but not unheard of! Your generation is much more willing to be accepting than my own. I have lost no one! not one single person who loved Brandon doesn't love Emily! the best part about telling people the truth about you is when they say they still love you, you can feel it. You cant push it away and say if they knew the truth about me they wouldn't love me. I have told everyone I can find and I've lived across the country as I ran away from the people who loved me. I told my oldest friend from way back in second grade and all the guys I ran around with in high school and college. I just heard from a college friend I handnt spoke to in ten years and she was happy for me.

The ones you loose will hurt but the gain you will receive from the ones who stay far out weighs any downside.

Huggs

Emily

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Guest NickieVega

I plan on living with my best friend right out of College, we smoke together (yes, weed), but besides the point, I don't wanna lose him because we're supposed to start out are lives together.

We're supposed to buy/rent an Apartment/small house and split rent 50%/50% and just live life. I don't know how he is going to react, but it's not like I am going to try anything with him :S I don't find him attractive at all :S

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Guest NickieVega

But he did say stoner girls were his ultimate fantasy/dream :D

Another thing, if anyone could share. Do you still have male genitals or did you go all the way?

Is going all the way dangerous? Could something go horribly, horribly wrong?

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Guest Emily Ray

I am pre-op. I have four more months to go before I qualify under "SoC" one year of real life living as a woman. After that I need to find funding. There are a few girls here who are Post-op and some that are no-op they choose or for some medical reason not to have the surgery. Yes, anytime you are but under anesthesia it is dangerous. Horribl horrible mistakes are rare but there are some that are more common. That is the limit of my expertise so I can't answer further. Don't smoke pot in college it is defeating the purpose of going there.

Huggs

Emily

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Guest NickieVega

I'm not in College, yet ;) I might be going to College for Graphic Design or something :D But my friend said he could get me a job that makes 100k+ a year (as some sort of electrician working on like Telephone poles and stuff like that, I think he said) so.. I don't know :s I just wanna be able to have a nice job that pays well and can support me / my family that I start :S

I will prob. end up approaching him about it, anyone know how I should?

PS - I was so close to telling my mom about what I want today ;) I feel that I have A LOT of girlish features. Some girls have pointed out to me that my eye lashes are really girlish and the way I walk (pretty much 1 foot ahead of another, I try to change it when I remember too) and my hips :S

GOSH! Why did I have to be born a man :/ I'm prob. going to tell my mom this weekend while on our "road trip" to my Grandmas :S It's going to be.. SO AWKWARD.

Any ideas on how I should approach it?

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Guest Emily Ray

Lineman is what that type of electrician is called. they do indeed make a lot of money and I know that women are doing the work. The bad part of the job is you have to go to work in the crummiest of weather. Then you have to go up in a basket to the tops of poles in the howling wind! I once thought about it as a career but i didn't know how to get started in it. I became a regular house and commercial electrician. It didn't pay nearly as good!

You might want to write a letter and than read it to her while on your trip. just make sure she isn't in traffic when you do it!

Huggs

Emily

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