I Did Something Interesting!

[Guest Orva26]

So it is no secret here that I've got myself some woman's jeans and have been sporting them for a week at work and that I've also been wearing panties. But today I did something I would've done about a month ago, I had an epic bike riding adventure wearing said jeans and underwear. I wouldn't have done that about a month ago because then woman's clothing were still special 'girl things'. This all sort of clicked when I just plopped my pants and panties down on top of the dirty laundry instead of sequestering them by themselves. At first I was like, "hmmmm...." then I was like, "AH-HA!", then I took a shower 'cause I was smelly.

But the point is, I'm at the point wear the woman's clothing I own are my things vs. girl things.

[Guest Emily Ray]

You are makeing such wonderful progress I am so proud of you. You are really taking ownership of your life and leting ( male name) slip into the background. Congratulations on the step no matter how small and this one wasn't small.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest MonikaC]

That may seem like a small step to some, but I think this is HUGE! Congrats! There is no him and her, just you! It's a great milestone to reach.

[Guest Orva26]

Thanks Emily!

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

You are makeing such wonderful progress I am so proud of you. You are really taking ownership of your life and leting ( male name) slip into the background. Congratulations on the step no matter how small and this one wasn't small.

Huggs

Emily

Emily's got that right, Orva Girl!

Don't look now, hon, but I'll bet ya a dollar to a doughnut that you'll wanna do HRT sooner than later. The Transgender Tractor Beam has gotcha! Once it's got you, sell the bus, baby, because the ride is over ... you've arrived!

Look at Emily and me. Dang, if The Transgender Tractor Beam can grab former Marines, forget about it! Who can't it grab? Nobody! Wahoo!

Lacey Lynne

Postscript:

So, it's 1:00 a.m. and there's Orva allegorically contemplating the great cosmic navel of life wonder about HRT:

Yeah, I'll DO it!

Hey, no way ...

Yeah, I'll DO it!

Hey, forget about it ...

Yeah, I'll DO it!

Hey, not me, man ...

[Guest Emily Ray]

I think you have passed the point where you will ever buy another piece of male clothing for yourself. Boyfriend jeans being the exception. It took just eight months before I was back in a pair of levis 501's that I picked up at a thrift store. All faded and worn. I don't wear them often and the are a different size than I wore before, but I am comfortable enough tobknow they aren't guy clothes but my clothes.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Orva26]

Thanks Monika and Lacey!

Don't look now, hon, but I'll bet ya a dollar to a doughnut that you'll wanna do HRT sooner than later.

Dollar to a doughnut, never heard that before. Pretty awesome phrase!

So, it's 1:00 a.m. and there's Orva allegorically contemplating the great cosmic navel of life wonder about HRT

Actually I'm not quite that predictable! At 1am I was reading some more of the book Trans-sister Radio. Good stuff, has an interesting format. Different chapters are from different character's perspectives so it paints a picture of how transition affects a group. And dispersed in it are chapters that are basically conversations/interviews where really factual stuff is. Like there was one with a surgeon before a few chapters about SRS in the story.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut I was contemplating HRT during my epic bike ride. And a bit now at 2:17am. Now a-days it isn't will I get/will I be denied but rather do I need it to be. I think I am slowly creeping towards an answer of yes. I think I want to reach a point where everyone sees girl, and I mean EVERYONE! I don't think I want passers by to think, "Hey that is one effeminate dude!" even if I can only get, "Gah! That was one manly chick!" I'd take it.

And now I'm sleeeeeeeeeeeepy!

zzz....

Orva

[~Nova~]

It's really funny how these things creep into us, then grab hold.

How many if us started just liking the feeling of womens clothes, but over time realized that it wasn't the clothes, it was what the clothes signified. Female!!!

Shelly

[Guest Orva26]

It's really funny (terrifying, disconcerting, frustrating) how these things creep into us, then grab hold.

Sorry to spoil the mood but at the moment I'm missing the punch line. Over the weekend and today, specifically about 13 minutes ago I've gained an understanding of "him". Its not that he must be a fabricated play acted entity, though he can, but rather he is simply the aspect/one everyone sees. He represents the expectations that come with the physicality, the expectations from society, from everything.

Doing laundry is something I have been stalling, or that has been stalled and something that made me cry. I work, the laundry room only has certain hours, a lot of recent weekends I haven't been around, and what just became apparent: I really would rather not wash male clothing. Its as if cleaning it enforces him. I'm washing a bunch of under shirts and I don't even know why because I DON'T want to wear the associated button down shirts. I'm sick of the uniform... got to get some other clothing for work. Being in a lab has advantages I can sport a polo shirt and jeans everyday and those are androgynous enough.

I'm going to have to get myself an assortment of shirts for work. I want to phase the male cloths out. Letting myself have a taste has really accelerated things.

ugh,

Orva