Out Of Luck

[Guest T.O.]

I'm here in search of some help. I started my transition (M-F) 4 years ago, even longer have been feeling this way. I had to hide it again because my family would never approve and I was sick of living on the street. 4 years ago I couldn't get it together on my own, I thought it was my fault, so I went back to being a boy for a year (2010). Well December I had been working for a year straight and felt ready to make the transition thinking I would have the friends and family's support in my life. I was WAY wrong! I was getting harassed at work, and made the stupid decision to quit. Right after that my family told me I had to leave again.

I was terrified and in January was homeless again. I'm 26 years old now and the services that were so helpful 4 years ago I am just a year too old to get anymore. All I really need is a part time job. I am educated and I am willing to work. I read and write and exercise everyday. I have really bad anxiety because of many reasons, but what makes it so hard to find work is how people treat me differently for being trans. Sometimes I get hit on and it pisses me off really really bad because I met somebody who lives very very far away that I like A LOT so I'm not interested in people sexually in the slightest. I'm struggling really bad with that because this person is not here and for some reason people assume I am single no matter what I'm doing or wearing, just because I'm trans.

So I found this disgusting little ghetto donkey shelter in a dangerous gang infested neighborhood, and heres me young, white, clean, and educated. No money, no job, no family, no friends, no help. I mean if my mom didn't let me visit every week I would probably have to move to San Fransisco where there are tons of services for someone like me. It is a blessing she helps the little she does even though I feel anger that I am not accepted by them. I'm hoping I can find a program in Los Angeles where I live now. I just need some part time work. Every program I have checked out is a dead end, it is like no one cares, they aren't helping me solve anything. The guy I like doesn't even really like me anymore because it was so hard out here I emailed him some strong worded emails and he basically dumped me and I swear I just wanted my life to end right there. But he still talks to me and has even been really sweet lately and I really want to make it on my own sooo bad you have no idea, I know I can do it. But there's gotta be something where there are people that can help. I mean just because I'm tg doesn't mean I can't work at a retail store or a telephone or even with kids etc. I'm not a bad person but I'm having trouble like I have a criminal record.

I guess part of the problem people are having a hard time finding work period. The chances are just even more slim because of my gender unfortunately.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, T.O. I hope you find what you need here.

I'm so sorry that your life has been this hard. No one should have to go through what you have. This is one place where you will find people who support and understand you.

First, let me explain that we protect our members by keeping the site at a PG-13 level as to content. Please take a few minutes to read the Terms and Conditions, if you haven't already. There is a link at the top of each page.

Second, as it appears you are in the L.A. area, have you attempted to get any assistance at the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center? If not, please check out this portion of their web site, as they may have services to help you: http://laglc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=YW_Transgender_Services

They should at least be able to refer you to some decent shelter, and perhaps some job opportunities.

Please let us know how you make out, OK? You can post in any forum, and log into Chat to talk with our crisis staff.

I care about you, T.O. Take care of yourself, and be safe.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Hayley21]

Hi T.O.

Welcome to laura's playground

Like ms carolyn marie said we are here for you maybe not in person but just an email away. There are people here that can give you lots of advice, I hope everything works out for you

Love ya,

Hayley

[Guest]

Hello, T.O.

Welcome to Laura's Playground!

Carolyn Marie had some good advice - I do hope you're able to take advantage of it.

I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone - unfortunately many are struggling now - it will get better if you keep trying.

In the meantime, stop by here whenever you can - keep us posted how you're doing, okay?

Love, Kat

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Very good replies, and I think Carolyn Marie, who lives near your area, has given you some suggestions. Its not an easy road being like we are, but we do try to support each other so no one feels alone. Keep us informed on how you are doing. And be careful! Do not get into a situation where you could be hurt or even killed.

Lizzy

[Guest Shaun_33]

Welcome! I'm new here too. If you ever need someone to talk to hit me up. I was touched by your introduction due to the fact that I am experiencing some of the same challenges as you. I lost my job 2 months ago, also have a criminal past, and am having a lot of issues in finding another job. Add to that gender issues and bad, complicated relationships....well, I'm guessing that I don't have to tell you because it sounds like you know. Anyway, like I said, if you need anyone to talk to that may sympathize I'm here

[Guest T.O.]

Wow this is a really awesome forum thanks for all your replies everybody!! I've got some good news: online I found a phone number where they directed me to a program with some other girls that have enough resources so I at least don't have to feel like I'm suffering anymore. That is a big relief. They told me they can help me with hygiene products, make up, job search, housing etc etc. It is really a blessing because we trans people need all the help we can get. I was reading statistics online the same day I found this forum and it read how transsexuals have a really low success rate in the United States for jobs and housing. I've got enough trouble dealing with emotions and physical appearance, like most of us, on top of that we have more trouble getting work and being accepted in society. Beyond that we learn how to understand our own gender- talk about complicated!! Not to mention people don't give us enough credit, we have to be stronger than men AND women- we get treated like less than people...

I really appreciate your guys's help and the next thing I need to clear up is "boy trouble"- we can save that for later anyways for me at least. If you guys ever wanna chat or anything please hit me up as well, I'm really grateful I found a place like this where there are people I can relate- that is really so important.

Thanks

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi TO,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest ricka]

Hi Darlin'! And a warm welcome to our family here at Laura's! You are not alone here. My heart goes out to you but I have a feeling you will find the help you need and these terrible times will pass. Stay strong, Dear! We are all rooting for you!! And just at the right time the right man will be there for you. It just kinda works that way.

Miss Ricka