Is It A Problem?

[Michael Christopher]

I dont know if its a problem but i find myself turning to alcohol a lot now, to just escape and not feel...i wouldnt say that im an alcoholic but i know it runs on both sides of my family...my dad is a raging alch himself. I dont know if its a problem i mean i guess it would be beccause i find myself always saying I need a drink or something stupid and then when i pick it up i just dont stop.

I can stay away if i want to but im finding it harder and harder with every day that is passing me by.

I just need ways to not think about it i dont want to come home and say to myself i wonder what ill drink tonight or how much or if ill pass up or if ill wake up

i just dont know where to go from here..i mean im young and i am lost.

any advice help or anything

-Chris

[Guest]

Hi Chris,

When many of your family members drink, it's too easy to fall into the same trap. I've been there myself, and, it's something I regret still. What happened to those years I'll never know. I do know that I made some big mistakes - and not much good to show for it.

It does seem that our society promotes this behavior too. So, it takes some resolve to break away. But, do try: there's so much to enjoy in life if you're sober enough to find it.

Love, Kat

[Michelle 2010]

Hi Chris

Welcome to Laura's.

A friend of mine told me that nobody but you can make that decision in your life. He suggested it may hinge on two things. 1) If I start drinking and can't stop (have one or two and no more), or 2) If I stop I can't stay stopped (stop for a couple of months and can't make it).

I'll offer up a third test. If life is always more bearable or fun when drinking than when sober...

Those three cover a lot of ground. Congratulations on having the self awareness at your age to ask smart questions...

Btw, we have a Sunday nite chat in the chatrooms dedicated to drug and alcohol issues at 9pm EST.

Its just starting up again and is small, allowing plenty of time to share and discuss things. If you think you'd like to learn more, drop by.

Best wishes

Michelle

[Guest someone or other]

I'm in kind of a similar place; I used to have a pretty bad drinking/drug problem, and upon getting over that, I've found that I have to think about things more often, which is pretty scary and makes it really tempting for me to go back to getting f'd up all the time. Anyway, the advice I got from my therapist about this was to make sure you have plenty of outlets (ex: going to the gym, doing things outside, whatever kinds of recreational things you enjoy) and try to get yourself to write about the things you're thinking and feeling, when you're comfortable enough to confront them sober. When you do figure things out, you'll figure them out. If you're not ready to do so, just let yourself have some time. You don't have to get drunk to 'distract' yourself from difficult thoughts, but you also don't need to subject yourself to thinking about things you're not ready to yet, either. I hope this is making some kind of sense, it's sort of what I've been telling myself lately and hoping will work.

[JJ]

There are a couple of things from my alcohol abuse training ( I was certified as a trainer of trainers) that apply here 1. If you ask if you have an alcohol problem you do. Period. But asking is a good thing because it means you are recognizing that things aren't right and you can get help dealing with it.

And 2. We can all become alcoholics but the set point is different for each of us. If I am not genetically predisposed by having alcoholic family members it may take 1000 drinks for me to reach addiction -real physical addiction but if my family has alcoholics-especially if my mother drank while pregnant it may be the very first one that makes me addicted. Or it may take dozens or hundreds but it will almost certainly be far fewer than someone without alcoholism in the family

Alcoholics aren't people who drink every day or are drunk all the time necessarily. They are people who crave alcohol at times and abuse it. I've known alcoholics who never had a drink from Mon-Thursday -at least earlier in the addiction but they were an alcoholic nevertheless.

My ex was like that but alcohol is a progressive disease and he went from being a law enforcement academy graduate and respected police officer to, long after I left him, adding whiskey to his morning coffee every morning. Eventually he ended up a homeless drunk who passed out and had so much frostbite damage that he now lives in assisted living and is crippled as well as brain damaged. But unlike many he is alive. And it CAN happen to anyone.

I've never known a drinking alcoholic who didn't say exactly what you said above-"I can stay away if I want to" or some paraphrase of it. Your description fits a lot of the symptoms now.

I don't want to sound harsh but alcohol can and will rob you of everything eventually. With alcoholic family members you already know that. So please contact a therapist or a self help group or something. Most people can't fight this battle alone and there are plenty of people out there who will offer help and support -you just have to ask

[Guest Lioness]

I used to really struggle with this issue myself. I've been drugging and drinking since I was 17, and I'm 21 now. I still drink, and still occasionally can't say no to some recreational drug use, but I'm getting better every day.

I believe in all things in moderation, and I know that I'm not magically going to stop enjoying drinking, but I don't enjoy being wasted anymore. For me it took getting so drunk that I'd puke and still wake up drunk the next day, being jobless and nearly homeless, utterly unwilling to turn back to those who loved me, to realize how far I was gone. I once spent 200 dollars in a night on alcohol, barhopping in canada when I was 19. Now I don't have 200 dollars to spare, and realize how stupid it was.

I didn't need to sink that low. Don't let rock bottom be your turn around point. I'm lucky and blessed to even be alive after rock bottom, and it's just not worth it. If you think you have a problem, you do, so start taking strides now.

I believe in you.