First Attempt At Writing A Song....

[Guest NatalieM]

Okay, this is something that kinda just... came to me a while ago and I've been trying to get it to a semi finished state. As a guitarist/bassist, I don't really think much in terms of lyrics, but this just had to be written down. So far I have one verse, pre-chorus, chorus and a general sound in mind. The sound is somewhere between Metallica's Master of Puppets and Avenged Sevenfold's Beast and the Harlot. Without further ado, here it is.

Darker Side:

I'm awakened deep inside

Your broken, tortured mind

The peaceful world that you once knew

Is starting to unwind

I'm alive within your soul

Devour more each day

Twisting thoughts within your brain

Your sanity will fray

Go to war within yourself

The battle lines are drawn

Fighting for your consciousness

A new dark age will dawn

You cannot run

I will confine

You cannot hide

You will be mine

There's no escape from

Your darker side

I recognize that it may be a little awkward and that you can't hear the rhythm that I hear in my mind, it's also simplistic in it's rhyming scheme and I'm not hugely in love with the first part of the chorus part but it's a work in progress. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

PS: I was not thinking about my gender identity or anything like that when I wrote this, although looking back at it I can see how it may look like an influence. Maybe subconsciously, I have no idea. Hope you all enjoyed it.

Nat

[Guest NatalieM]

Yeah, this is the twisted stuff that runs through my mind lol.

[Guest TracieV3]

Not a bad song Natalie. I look forward it to some day being sung.

Tracie

[Guest tiffany_marie]

Pretty well done in my humble opinion!

Nice job!

[Guest NatalieM]

Thanks! It really is rough and the theme is pretty dark, but I'm glad you like it. I'm trying to figure out where to go from here with it. I want to show the progression into madness but I don't know how exactly I want to do that. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but writer's block sucks.

[Guest tiffany_marie]

Just work through the writer's block the best you can and don't let it defeat you.

That's my problem when it comes to writing... at the first hint of writer's block I give up.

I started writing a novel.. horror/suspense, something in the vein of King or Koontz and got three chapters in... had a few people read it and got universally positive feedback... had writer's block hit and never continued on.