Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Gender Dysphoria Vs Body Image Issues


Guest sage

Recommended Posts

First of all, I'm new to the forum, so hello everybody! -- my (fortunately gender neutral) name is Sage and I'm 16. I began questioning my gender identity recently and I have a strong feeling that I am FTM. Even though I only just realized that I may not identify as female I have an urgent wish to present as male. Feminine clothes have always made me extremely uncomfortable but now the idea of wearing them makes me upset. I want to buy men's clothes and order a binder from Underworks but in order to do this I will have to explain to my parents that I feel uncomfortable with my biological gender.

My parents are very accepting. However, one of the obstacles I'm concerned with in sharing this with them is that they won't believe me or will think I'm deluding myself. In particular, I'm concerned that my mom will think that this is just another incarnation of my body image problems. Since I was 12 (soon after puberty hit) I've struggled with anorexia and I was hospitalized for a month at 14. Since then it's been a lot better but I still obviously harbor negative feelings for my body. Honestly, I'm not nearly as bothered by my weight as I am the womanly shape of my body. I remember feeling so happy when I got thin enough that my chest was totally flat and I was mistaken for a boy. I don't know if that perspective is typical of eating disordered girls or not. But I feel pretty certain that my mom will think I'm confusing my gender identity with my hatred for myself.

What do you think? There's a gender therapist in my area and I've decided to call her and see if I can arrange a consultation, but I will have to communicate with my parents first. I'm terrified that they will blame this on my self esteem problems, and I really want them to take my feelings seriously.

Link to comment
Guest Avery F

Hey Sage,

Nice to meet you. I hear you about the rather sudden urge to present as male - the same thing happened to me, so even though I'd been wearing male clothes effectively all my life anyway, suddenly I wanted people to start using male pronouns and such.

That's tricky, with the possibility that your parents will just think it's anorexia or something. Maybe if you told her that you didn't care about losing weight if you got a binder and were thus able to get rid of your curves in another way it might help. If you really don't think your parents will understand, there may be a way to set up an online account and order things yourself - although if you don't want unexplained packages being delivered to your house, you may have to get access to the post office.

Anyway, it's great to have you here on the forums, and I look forward to reading more from you.

Avery

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to the Playground, Sage. Nice to have you with us.

You're doing the right thing by seeking a G.T. early on. If you explain to your parents your feelings, why you think you have G.I.D., and why you need to seek professional advice, I think they will understand and support you. They may be in a mild state of shock, but

they will get past that.

This process takes time, so don't feel like you need to accomplish everything in a month. It is a long journey, and you are very young.

Please do post in any forum, and check out Chat if you haven't already. Its a lot of fun. Also, please read the Terms and Conditions if you haven't already. There is a link at the top of every page.

Almost forgot to offer you the ritual Snack Cart goodies of pizza and hot cocoa. Enjoy, and I look forward to seeing your posts.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 102 Guests (See full list)

    • MaybeRob
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,064
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Geordie_Dad
    Newest Member
    Geordie_Dad
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ay-la
      Ay-la
      (51 years old)
    2. Camille
      Camille
      (48 years old)
    3. Dressupdoll
      Dressupdoll
      (57 years old)
    4. iliya
      iliya
      (37 years old)
    5. KaylaH
      KaylaH
      (48 years old)
  • Posts

    • Davie
    • Davie
      Welcome to the forums, M.A. Duh . . . more questions came up for me,too--but I'm finding they don't have to be solved all at once. One thing at a time as I ask for help works for me. Keep coming back.  —Davie
    • Birdie
      Good news is that I have nothing serious going on. The blood was coming from internal hemorrhoids, and the doctor says it's from the "typical American diet." Too much fat and carbs but not enough plant based fiber. A few other things were noted and biopsies on them for safety sake.    Hospital visit was grand with "most" of the staff addressing me as female. I did have "bra talk" with one of the CNA's. Even my discharged papers use my preferred name on them (Birdie).   So basically, adding more fiber to my diet will eliminate my internal hemorrhoids as well as lower my risk for cancer. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      For that part, be glad you live in MS and not in CA or some other "paradise."    Unfortunately, right now in the USA it is about choices.  Choose to live in a mostly free state that doesn't want my gender to exist, or choose to live in a leftist place that accepts my gender but not my family or my faith, or how I want to live my life or the stuff I own.   As for the lawsuits... hiring a lawyer costs money.  And a "no fees unless you win" attorney probably won't take a case like this, as it is difficult to get money from folks who often don't have anything.  As they say, "it is hard to get blood from a turnip." 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      There's a couple of things.  First, since so many LGBTQ+ folks often vote Democrat, it is simply assumed that "LGBTQ = Democrat."  And to many, Democrat = enemy.  The fact that some of us don't vote for Democrats comes as a surprise to many.  You wouldn't believe how many different times I have had to explain how I vote, that I don't like Biden, etc...   And then, there's the flamboyant, over-the-top appearance and behavior of some.  When average folks see strange dress, wild colors, and the occasional provocative behavior in the news, they assume that it is the norm and that all LGBTQ+ folks are like that.  To them, "LGBTQ = weird."    I think that @Abigail Genevieve is right, part of it is lousy marketing.  And that will take a ton of undoing, because it has been going on for years.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Personally, I despise the antics of the "swing" states. Double-minded and unstable, shifting every time the wind blows.  OK, so the Lt Governor of Georgia doesn't like Trump.  Small potatoes.... given the 2020 results, nobody counts on Georgia anyways.
    • VickySGV
      Xenophobia -- fear of the foreign nature of something.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Its midnight here...so, technically morning   I had a really weird evening, and learned something new about politics.  My sister, who is running for public office as our township constable, received a "present" today, left on the hood of her patrol car.  An axe!  Wrapped in a bundle of sticks (dowels?).  The sheriff received one also, and a couple other candidates.  Now, my first thought was it was meant as a threat, and I was freaked out when she told me.  But she wisely identified it as political criticism:   During the 2020 election, a small dissident minority objected to our sheriff, and labeled him "Mussolini."  Apparently the symbol of the F@scist Party came from ancient Rome.  An axe, circled with rods, and the whole bundle was called "fasces" and represented the authority of the state.  Roman officials would have them symbolically carried ahead of them through the city on parade.  Other nations used it too, including the USA.  But since the 1920s, it is mostly associated with a certain political party.  Either I was never taught this in high school, or I didn't notice it.    So, it appears that this election season will have some interesting aspects.  And I have been asked to put gold spray paint on an axe, to make it like a trophy. 
    • KayC
      Welcome @Vivelacors!  For myself and many others here it is a similar theme.  But, I can assure it's never too late.  I hope that you will discover that as you explore and connect with more of us on the Forum.    You've already taken the most important first step ... Self-Affirmation.  I am wishing you the best in continuing this process. Deep breaths ... One step at a time
    • phys
      I can remember as a teenager being a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints and living in the bible belt. It was always a little hard-I think religion is just tricky anyway.    I was referred to a couple of ladies at church by my mum who gave me very good advice.  One has known those who are are trans- and how they approched it.    The other has two people in their life who identify differently. They also gave other ideas to assist me.     I do like ideas though. 
    • KayC
      If I am leaving the house I will almost always do makeup.  Not over-the-top but enough to feminize my face (eye shadow, mascara), lipstick, and a light cover of a concealer and foundation. I found my favorite lipsticks are Maybelline.  But the concealer/foundation I 'discovered' in Neutrogena Hydro Boost - Hyaluronic Acid based.  For 'older' gals like me I find it moisturizes and doesn't dry into those annoying fine lines (I have enough of those already).    Hopefully, after facial hair removal I might not feel the need as much.
    • kristinabee
      I think it just comes down to a lot of people not knowing anything about the lgbtq+ community besides what reactionaries online and on TV say. In my experience, people who have a lot more day-to-day contact with gay and trans people, have lgbtq+ friends or family, coworkers, etc. are a lot more accepting because they know an lgbtq+ person, and know that we aren't anything like what the people on TV say we are. 
    • Davie
      "A prominent Republican in a swing state just announced he’s backing Biden! This unexpected endorsement and brutal rebuke of Donald is a sign his support is waning." —MARY L. TRUMP
    • April Marie
      Welcome! We are so glad you found us! Actually, you’ll find quite a few of us here who embraced their reality quote late in life. None of us know how much time we have, but we can enjoy the time that we do. Celebrate!    Join in in where you feel comfortable.
    • VickySGV
      Actually the bill seems to be so thoroughly confusing that I doubt that enforcement is even possible.  It could however incite vigilante style actions.  A false accusation against a "looks challenged" Cis woman is very likely to happen early on.  So what will happen in the case of those situations?  I have a script in mind over the sad average looking daughter of one of the legislators getting tangled into one of those situations.  I don't know whether it would be a comedy or a tragedy at the minute.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...