Am I Tg Or Ts?

[Guest SometimesErica]

From an early age I have had feminine desires but I usually suppressed them or if I did act on them I afterward purged and then suppressed. I recently decided to let myself explore these desires; to investigate TG and TS and to allow myself to think about me in these terms. I took some online tests which put me in the TG category and about halfway on the feminine side. I accepted this thinking that I had never really had strong feelings that I was really to leave my male side in the dust and pursue my female side completely. However, in the past week my thoughts and feelings have been shifting. I never crossdressed before, but during the past week I have been shopping and outfitting myself. I just tried dressed in some of it and it is amazing how it makes me feel. I feel like this is who I really am. I am quickly loosing interest in my male side, which is causing me to think that I am more TS than TG. In fact I am starting to think that I am already on a path toward transition. Though part of me may wish the journey could be rapid I can't afford that at this time either relationally or financially. I'm not sure that just crossdressing would ever really bring true peace. For now though, it will have to provide comfort and direction.

Erica

[Guest SometimesErica]

I forgot to mention that I have a intensifying desire to have a feminine body in both appearance and function.

Erica

[Drea]

Nobody can tell you what you are. Best bet is to find a therapist and explore your feelings in therapy.

And these days the definitions of TG and TS are so fluid as it is hard to know what means what anyway. Some would say that all TS are TG as well as TG is a broad umbrella definition. TS by some definitions doesn't mean one is or needs to transition and surgery seems so far detached from the meaning as to have no signifance. Others will argue that TS should apply only to those who are transitioning and who will have SRS.

One thing I can say for sure, generally speaking the more time one spends in an online support enviorment like this the more they till tend to drift in the direction of TS. It really takes one with a firm identity to not be swayed by all the talk of transition, the exciting things that get talked about and so on. We are objective observers here so as I said in my first statement, find a therapist and explore your own feelings in that enviorment.

[Guest SometimesErica]

Drea,

Thanks for the response. I totally agree with the therapy recommendation and I am exploring that. My question was somewhat rhetorical and my way of expressing what I am feeling right now. You bring up an interesting point in your last paragraph. Do you think that people are swayed by peer pressure on sites like this to move in the direction of TS even if they really aren't or are you saying that it frees them up to be who they really are? Just thought provoking.

Thanks.

[Drea]

You bring up an interesting point in your last paragraph. Do you think that people are swayed by peer pressure on sites like this to move in the direction of TS even if they really aren't or are you saying that it frees them up to be who they really are?

As a simple answer, yes I do think so that people are swayed by the excitement of their peers. For example, I can give one extreme example. This involved someone who had transitioned MTF but hadn't had SRS. She was happy with that. At the same time she transitioned a couple others in her support group were also transitioning. Those other two proceeded on to have SRS. The first, after hearing about how great those others felt, decided to have SRS herself. Was she feeling left out? Had she thought there was more to what she had already gotten out of transition? I don't know. What I do know is that she was happy and hadn't planned on having SRS. After she did have SRS however she found it didn't make her any more happier and that it added some things she didn't like.

I do think what you mentioned about finding support causes some to be free to be who they are or leads to some self discovery happens.

I just bring up that pressure as I seen its effects, seen how excitement is created by some getting on hormones and talking about effects as well as those who have SRS. All the talk of all the great things tends to leave some feeling left out and creates interest. Understanding the existance of that pressure is the best way to be immune to it.

At the end of the day, its a matter of balance and individual needs. Will treatements outweigh the costs (both financial and emotional). For some it is worth it, for others it might not. Everyone has their needs.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Drea,

Do you think that people are swayed by peer pressure on sites like this to move in the direction of TS even if they really aren't or are you saying that it frees them up to be who they really are? Just thought provoking.

Thanks.

My opinions here.....

First off, one is born a Transsexual (TS), not swayed, convinced or brainwashed into being one.

I was born a Transsexual and only came to terms with it in later years....

And people are here on this site because they obviously have questions about their gender identity before they arrived here. I feel that some people may be excited about being female for other reasons and are not actually Transsexual and really don't need/want to transition completely or even at all...Only by working with a gender therapist can that be determined....

As a simple answer, yes I do think so that people are swayed by the excitement of their peers.

I do think what you mentioned about finding support causes some to be free to be who they are or leads to some self discovery happens.

I just bring up that pressure as I seen its effects, seen how excitement is created by some getting on hormones and talking about effects as well as those who have SRS. All the talk of all the great things tends to leave some feeling left out and creates interest. Understanding the existance of that pressure is the best way to be immune to it.

At the end of the day, its a matter of balance and individual needs. Will treatements outweigh the costs (both financial and emotional). For some it is worth it, for others it might not. Everyone has their needs.

Swayed in what way? To what end? To further explore their own feelings?

Swayed to start HRT? That takes the written consent of a therapist and a prescription from a doctor...

If I win the lottery and people see how happy the money made me, they don't start robbing banks to have money, too...

Sure, getting on hormones causes excitement for many that read about it and some may feel left out....how can we post and be 100% inclusive about everything to everybody.

In my experience, the ones that post about their starting and using HRT is a learning experience for those that follow. That's how it works.....those that have bad experiences post about it...those that have good experiences post about it...it''s a balance that lets people see what is to be lost or gained and make their decisions from that.

You said it best....

At the end of the day, its a matter of balance and individual needs. Will treatements outweigh the costs (both financial and emotional). For some it is worth it, for others it might not. Everyone has their needs.

Just like everything in life, there's a plus and a minus....

Everyone needs to weigh that before taking any actions....

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Drea,

Thanks for the response. I totally agree with the therapy recommendation and I am exploring that. My question was somewhat rhetorical and my way of expressing what I am feeling right now. You bring up an interesting point in your last paragraph. Do you think that people are swayed by peer pressure on sites like this to move in the direction of TS even if they really aren't or are you saying that it frees them up to be who they really are? Just thought provoking.

Thanks.

I disagree with that, and it is one person's opinion, and mine is another.

I have been on Laura's for several years (as has Drea) but I don't make the judgment of a person based upon a simple presentation in an introduction. I don't think anyone does.

Saying we are influential in directing someone toward thinking they are, or 'might be,' transsexual is really saying we aren't careful in our advice, sort of saying we make it sound so much fun.

I cannot recall any postings (and there could be a few that have snuck in) by the membership or by the moderators/administration, actually advocating ANYONE seek transition, BECAUSE they think that person IS TRANSSEXUAL! To do so is really irresponsible, and we here at Laura's know that.

Like Drea said, we tell people to see a gender dysphoria trained therapist. She also says correctly, we are NOT THERAPISTS.

All we offer is support. So may are questioning their gender, and their gender orientation. We do answer questions where we can, answer in a way based upon a consensus reached by mods/admin through the years. S U P P O R T - not advocacy.

We do not have the type of peer pressure you mention.

You and me? We are not peers, and wouldn't be unless, perhaps, you are diagnosed by a reputable and gender trained therapist, you are offered options such as I was (HRT and SRS), and you accept those options.

THEN you and I both would be transitioning transsexuals, and would be on a 'peer' level. I know that is complicated, but that is how the trained mods/admin work on this site. We cannot - would not - ever advocate being transsexual OR transitioning.

Let me explain:

In the first place, we cannot advocate transsexuality, because that is impossible.

A person is most likely born transsexual. We are not therapists and we don't know you. How would we know what you are?

Secondly, transitioning SUX! We would NEVER advocate it unless it is vital to your mental health, and, essentially, you would kill yourself continuing to live without it. You lose everything when you transition (to quote a about hundred people here). The only positive is you find your true self. We let the SOC handle the particulars of transitioning, something basically designed to keep people from making a terrible error.

So that is a $25 answer to a 50 cent question.

Don't think because you are on this site, a romantic or fantasy-filled idea of 'changing sex' will overtake you. It won't - that's not what Laura's Playground is about.

Again - my opinion

Lizzy