Well Just What I Needed...

[Guest Kristi Lyn]

Nine hours from now I will be on my way to Florida for my orchi on Tuesday. Yesterday was one of the happiest days when I finally got all of my running done in preparation for this. I awoke this morning to several text messages from my kids and several calls from Aunt's, all telling me I was making a huge mistake and I would no longer have a relationship with them if I went through with this. They have all known about this for the last several weeks and no one has said anything negative about it since I told them what I was doing. Why wait until before I leave to go do this? I have to admit my kid's and other relatives support has waivered back and forth over the last few years since I told them all about my GID and my plans to transition. I don't understand why as I have been open, honest, and made a point to not make this a topic of discussion everytime I see them. If they ask or want to talk about then I do but I don't throw it in their face everytime. I have tried to be as understanding for thier position in this as I think I possibly can.

I get the impression they all have humored me over the last few years and thought I would "grow out of it" or it is just a phase with me. Now when they see things changing and steps in furtherance of completely being a woman physically they are raising nine kinds of h#ll. It's strange as I have been met in public with great reception and even compliments where I truly thought I would recieve the most negativity, but I am finding more negativity within my own family. Didn't see that coming.Not the day I expected but I am not deterred in going on the trip to do this. Grrrrrr......

Kristi

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Kristi......

You go for it, Honey....

Those around you may waver in their support, but your needs are constant....

Don't worry ....you are doing this for YOU....not anyone else...

Support is wonderful when you can get it and their timing stinks for saying anything negative at this point...

You take care of business...either they will accept it or they won't....Either way....it's your life!

Congratz, Hon

Good luck

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest]

Hi Kristi,

First off - best of luck on the surgery! That's a big step and I do hope your family hasn't made you feel less resolute about going forward.

It may take some time for your family to understand - I do hope they eventually get it. One thing I keep thinking is that I've been aware of GID for a long time, but the people around me were blissfully unaware. It may take time for them to absorb and understand.

And, of course there are the ones who won't try. It's a sad statement that some people are just too closed minded to ever want to understand. My neice told me to choose my family - this after she came out as lesbian - and she was right. My family is smaller now, but has no loss of love in it.

Take care - let us know how you're doing, okay?

Love, Kat

[Sally]

It is more important that you do what you must at this point - they are allowed their opinions but as this is your life, your opinion is the only one that really counts.

The support might come back - it might not but either way you are become your true self and that is what matters.

Love ya,

Sally

[JJ]

Perhaps knowing that this was a last chance to keep you from going through a change they can't understand drove your family to act that way today. And once they know there is no going back-although they didn't realize earlier that there really wasn't then either-they will begin to really come to terms with who you are. people for the most part don't mean to hurt us-they just pull out every weapon in the arsenal to stop us from doing what they see as harming us. From changing because they loved us as we were.

Good luck on your surgery and congratulations on your resolution in the face of the messages and all.

Hugs

John

[Guest sarah f]

Let me first say Good Luck with your surgery and hope you have a speedy recovery.

I think you family is trying anything they can do at this point to get you to not go through with it. Just remember that you need to do this for yourself and nobbody else.

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

I am finding more negativity within my own family. Didn't see that coming.

Kristi

Isn't that the truth? I have a brother that I really believe is hell bent on either stopping me or destroying me anyway he can. And others may not be as crazy but defiantly trying to take eve chance to change my mind. It is odd that you would be so vulnerable and honest with your family and then take such intense and insensitive fire from them. I hate it!

But, regardless, you do what you set out to do and the ones who are capable of love will be there. This is not about you but about becoming You! The True You!

Good luck with the surgery, and I hope the recovery goes quickly so you can get on with living.

Audrey

[Guest Kristi Lyn]

I have to say it's been a long day with all of this but I am resolute in doing this. Seems no one understands or wants to and that is ok. Thanks for all the well wishes and lovely thoughts of encouragement. Come middle of the next week it won't matter for those of my family that are "concerned", as it will be done.

Kristi

[~Nova~]

Good luck next week. Although I dont honk

Luck is what you need. I'm extending my hand to you in support

I live in Florida, what city are you having it done? Maybe I can truly extend a hand. :-)

My father always says blood is thicker than water. I'll find out Monday night. I'll keep you in the hack of my mind.

PM me if you want. I may be able to extend more than a virtual helping hand.

Nova

[Guest DésiréeG]

Of course most negativity is going to come from our own families. The average person on the street doesn't care. Your coworkers may have a laugh and you'll be water cooler fodder for a few weeks but so long as they get paid next Friday, you could paint yourself blue and say you're a doorknob for all they care. Family actually have a stake in this. Or at least, they think they do. Family are the ones who will always have to be there, for weddings, funerals, graduations... jobs and friends and neighbors come and go. You're stuck with family.

However, as I told my parents when I came out to them "My life is not a democracy. We aren't going to get together and take a family vote on whether I should do this or not."

Some day, I'm gonna write my autobiography and "My life is not a democracy" is going to be the title. This is a decision we need to make for ourselves. No one can talk us out of it, nor should they, no more so that you would talk someone out of getting laser eye surgery to correct their vision.