Belonging

[Guest Justme]

Hi All. After this post, I am thinking, it's time for me to stop looking for supports. Wondering if anyone is in my position? I am a transsexual. I have known I was male since I was 4 years old. In all honesty....I do not understand gender fluidity....I don't understand the pregnant man...I don't understand anything....other than I am a man...living in the bondage of this female body. Am I the only one that feels this way? Trapped in a body that isn't mine? Doing my best to understand transgender issues that I don't understand? Is it time for me to just say...I don't understand and stop looking for help? I just can't belive that I am the only one that struggles with this. I am willing to be a support to anyone. It just seems that ...for the few that deal with GID issues....it's hard to find a place...even in the trans community, to find support and acceptance.

[JJ]

Perhaps in an effort to be upbeat and supportive those of us that respond most haven't revealed the depth of our pain and dysphoria but most if not all of us feel or have felt what you are feeling.

We just know that we have to do our best to get through each day and change our bodies to more closely represent out minds and hearts.

It hurts. We all weep many bitter tears-male or female and then we just fight on. Because it's the only way to ever find peace and the basic happiness we are entitled to have.

You are not alone

John

[Guest Justme]

Hi JJ thanks for your reply. And guess I have given up hope in the trans community. I started fighting, back in 2008, to make a change in my state in what it takes to change a gender marker on a drivers license. And, got no support at all. Now, this policy haunts me. Prevents me from having a job...a life! It's put me in a place where I don't even want to step outside my own door . Because I'm just tired of hearing the harrassement. And. I'm just looking for the strenght to keep going. But...that's my stuff.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

You have certainly come to the right place for help and understanding. By no means are you alone. The anwers you seek are here or the people who will help you find them are here.

Look at John J (JJ) who answered just below your original post. He is our most esteemed transsexual man. John Chiv also on this forum is also a transsexual man. We have many other transsexual men here.

Settle in, get relaxed, get involved. Read away. Comment anytime. While Laura's Playground may not have all the answers from people like you (and me!), it has many of them.

Peace, my brother. May you find what you are looking for here or a way to access it here.

Lacey

[Guest N. Jane]

I understand TOTALLY where you are at! I was there years ago, and still am to some extent.

Hang in there! You to shall succeed!

[JJ]

You know there is another aspect to the fight you seem to have lost. You have no idea who may have been inspired by it. Who may be taking their time but eventually find the strength to take up the fight. No minority-and in a very real sense we are exactly that-ever won their battle on the first try. But if it had not been for those who threw themselves into the battle even when they didn't win, then nothing would ever change,

This condition and the misunderstandings about it, have caused many of us to live lives dedicated to not drawing attention. To the extent that many of us are deeply conditioned to just get by rather than oppose -almost as a survival instinct. So when someone stands up and speaks out it is frightening for them. They may want the change you seek but you scare them, threaten them and make them feel inferior because they just can't do what you do.

I do know and believe that you have a future and a choice. It may be hard to get there and it may mean a lot of sacrifice but you can find a way to make a life for yourself. Tens of thousands of us have. And perhaps if you do go to an area where trans people are more active and assertive it will be worth the price you would pay to get there for the satisfaction and peace of mind you would find. But only you can decide that.

You don't fail till you give up

[Guest Chiv]

Perhaps in an effort to be upbeat and supportive those of us that respond most haven't revealed the depth of our pain and dysphoria but most if not all of us feel or have felt what you are feeling.

We just know that we have to do our best to get through each day and change our bodies to more closely represent out minds and hearts.

It hurts. We all weep many bitter tears-male or female and then we just fight on. Because it's the only way to ever find peace and the basic happiness we are entitled to have.

You are not alone

John

Could not have said it better myself.