How To Bring Up To My Doctor...

[Guest Carter L]

Hey everyone,

So, I know I'm not going to be able to get surgery for quite some time (especially since my parents aren't consenting), but I want to have a discussion with her about wanting chest surgery. The problem is...I'm not exactly sure how to go about it. She's very trans-friendly and very supportive of my gender identity, even wishing she could help me more and have me see an Endocrinologist, but she's obviously being bound by parental consent laws. While I get this and know I'm stuck, I want to discuss it with her because she's so supportive. I want to explain to her how I have to bind (even though she tells me not to) because otherwise I get so depressed I can't leave my room, and I want to tell her about how binding gives me chest pain sometimes and I've had back pain lately after not binding for a week (I'm binding again now, but only a little bit, and the pain hasn't gotten any worse). Binding also makes my breasts really tender and causes a lump in my left breast to swell a little bit larger. I want to express to her why I feel that chest surgery is a medical necessity based on the pain they cause me (though somewhat indirect, through my binding). I know it likely won't lead anywhere, but I just don't know how to bring it up or what sorts of things I should say, or even if I should ask her some questions (and what those may be). Help?

Thanks,

Carter

[JJ]

Carter all you can do is say what you have in your post. If it seems too hard then maybe you can type it out and print it to take with you.

That lump definitely needs checked out. There shouldn't be one and though it isn't likely to be anything serious there are a number of things that can get very serious if not taken care of early.

Just be aware that your Dr will have to share with your parents anything that impacts your health - like the fact that you are still binding. You have a chance to have a strong young male body one day and as bad as chest dysphoria gets-and I do understand it all too well-it isn't worth having to live with an abnormal weird looking chest from deforming growing bones when you could have a male chest instead.

Good luck with the Dr-I hope she can help

[Guest Carter L]

That lump definitely needs checked out.

Yes, it started last year before I was binding and has only recently begun to swell with binding. She said it's normal and that many teenaged females get it, but that she has to do a breast exam every six months because of it.

As for deformation, I understand completely. I've pretty much stopped binding, though I may start again as I just ordered a Tri-Top. I've been using two binders for a while which is what's really hurting, so I'm hoping the Tri-Top can give me the compression I want without the pain.

Thanks for the quick response!

[JJ]

Glad to hear that it's being closely watched. I lumps most of my life that the Dr said were normal too but oddly enough starting T has resolved them all. Which is kind of a relief

I've noticed something kind of weird about binding for me and maybe it is tied to having to wear a bra for so many years-at least in public. When I wear my binder other than when I am interacting with other people the discomfort actually makes me even more dysphoric about my chest. When I'm with other people I tend to be aware of how they see me and need that thing. When I am alone I just wear an athletic compression shirt. Keeps them smoothed down but without the feeling that I am restrained. Males aren't. And it just reminds me of it. If that makes sense.

For many, many years when I came home from work the first thing off was the bra. Then I'd change into a comfy old shirt and jeans. I'm from a generation when going without a bra-especially for someone as well endowed as I am-was considered bad behavior at best. But I couldn't help it. Just didn't belong on me. And the binder doesn't either. That's just how my mind feels about it. I can pretty much forget them in a loose enough shirt

You might give it a try. Going without anything really does feel better-well except that compression shirt and that feels like a natural shirt.

[Guest Chiv]

JJ has given you good advice. I too feel better without a binder and lately I haven't worn a compression shirt. It just feels more natural. As far as others are concerned, their response to me has nothing to do with the binder or not. The more conscious I am, the more aware they are there is a chest.

John

[Guest Carter L]

I feel that I'm actually the opposite way, really. When I'm not binding or only wearing a sports bra, I feel their weight more and feel self-conscious when they "bounce around," as that's when people notice them. Also, I find the compression of the binding makes me feel safe, so when I'm not binding it feels weird. I hate how they feel on my pecs, and I really get depressed more when I'm not binding. When I am binding, I feel almost no dysphoria.