How Do I Read To You?

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

I'm really nervous doing this but I got my hair cut finally yesterday and I want to know what you guys think. I'm kinda worried coz my mum, grandma, the hairdresser and my sister all said how 'pretty' I look with it...which isn't what I was going for!!! My partner said she sees me looking like a girl coz that's what she's expecting when she looks at me coz she knows me as a girl..but that I look less feminine than I did which is good.

I am amazed that they like it though coz I was expecting them to hate it.

I'm gonna give you a 'before' picture first so you can see the change.

This is how I've been living for most of my life:

(I'm wearing my binder for BOTH the pictures though. I was too uncomfortable to take a picture without that)

And this is now:

I know I'm not gonna pass as guy-ish but do I look more androgynous now?

Ahh this is scary! My partner's sitting beside me saying 'post it' lol. Ok I'm gonna trust you guys (and girls)

[Guest Risu]

Honestly... I think so long as you have the male walk and talk down I think you will do fine Your first picture shows a beautiful woman (probly not exactly what you want to hear >< sorry) and the second picture shows a "beautiful" guy, beautiful in a handsome way. I love the new hair cut and again, I would imagine if you can walk the walk and talk the talk you could easily pass. You look great no matter what, so believe in yourself and others will believe it too

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

Thank you Risu, that made my day!

As far as the 'walk'. I am in a wheelchair and mute so I can't carry over my gender by either how I walk or how I speak. A lot of movements are difficult for me as my disability effects my whole body but I was thinking today that I wish I could spend some time around disabled guys (or at least guys sitting down lol) because I don't know how much male body language I can pick up from watching able bodied men. I don't get to go out very much and the times I do are like going shopping or to college one morning a week and I don't get the chance to 'people watch' much.

Have you got any ideas of how I could observe men in wheelchairs or men sitting down when I don't really have opportunity to watch them in my every day life?

[Guest AlyTheGreatAngel]

Amazing!! But Im jealous of how your hair is in the first one:( lol I want that hair!! Lol but the second one looks great(: U def look like the guy U are!

[Guest Elizabeth K]

WOW

You grew up! Like it! It seems more what you are when you post and talk here. Does that make sense?

Lizzy

[Guest John Chiv]

Definitely a guy in the second picture.

John

[Guest]

You're looking terrificly androgynous! For a guy that takes a hard swing to the feminine, and for a girl, it's the opposite. You're doing okay!

My neice had a spinal cord injury when she was fifteen, came out as lesbian a few years later, and went on to be a respected promoter of gay rights as well as dsabled rights. She may have been in a wheelchair and had little control over her body, but there was no mistaking who she was. I mention this as an example to you: If you can live your life for who you are, you will be recognized for it.

All the best to you!

Love, Kat

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

thank you so much guys you've boosted my confidence so much.

Aly, you can have my hair that I cut off lol (wouldn't it be nice if it was that simple). I hope you can have hair that long some day.

Actually my hair is being used. I've found a charity I can send it to and they will use it to make a wig for a child with cancer which is really cool coz that way my hair cut helps me AND someone else.

Thank you Lizzy, I feel more like me too.

Thank you John, that's so good to hear. You really made me smile.

Thank you Kat. Thank you for telling me about your niece. It's inspirational to hear about people who have achieved so much. Sometimes I feel like I am pathetic compared to people like that but I'm told I do make a difference...just in little ways to people not on a mass scale. It's sometimes difficult to remember that.

I feel like I knew who I was when I was a child but things got confused as a teenager and I'm only just really beginning to find out who I am again. It's not easy because I've been taught not to listen to my own thoughts and feelings but I'm getting there and with my partners support I'm learning to stay true to myself. It's a good feeling.

[Guest John Chiv]

I am so happy that you are learning to stay true to yourself. It is hard when we are not perceived by others as who we really are. Those days are rough. We also have to unlearn decades or years of social conditioning. Every single one of us makes a difference because we take that step for ourselves and through the lives we touch, we facilitate change.

Great that you have such a supportive partner.

John

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

Thanks John. Unlearning all that conditioning is tough but worth it. You guys are sure making a difference to me.

Yeah I'm so grateful to have my partner. I hate to think where I'd be without her...I'm not sure I'd be alive.

[JenniferB]

I think you can pass as either a girl or a guy. The clothes and mannerisms will dictate what you want to be seen as.

Jenny

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

Thank you Jenny. My body language I'm sure gives me away at the moment and clothes is something I'll have to work on coz I realised today when I was thinking about the weather getting warmer that I don't have many guy-ish summer clothes...I mean it's pretty much jeans or combats and t-shirts but my mum has bullied me into getting t-shirts that are more girl-ish and now I have to fight back against that.

Great, another battle! lol This one wont be as easy to win as my hair was (and it took me 32 years to get that done!...although my mum now denies that she ever refused to let me cut it...yeah right!)

[Guest Wulfhere]

Thank you Jenny. My body language I'm sure gives me away at the moment and clothes is something I'll have to work on coz I realised today when I was thinking about the weather getting warmer that I don't have many guy-ish summer clothes...I mean it's pretty much jeans or combats and t-shirts but my mum has bullied me into getting t-shirts that are more girl-ish and now I have to fight back against that.

Great, another battle! lol This one wont be as easy to win as my hair was (and it took me 32 years to get that done!...although my mum now denies that she ever refused to let me cut it...yeah right!)

That's too bad that the t-shirts will be another uphill battle, but at least you're getting there, right? Just stay strong and keep letting her know how important it is for you.

As for your pic, I think you look very androgynous. It could go either way, but I think I'd lean more toward thinking you were an androgynous guy if I saw you on the street.