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Guest chngnwnd

By Guest chngnwnd,
in Victims of Hate Crimes and Violence

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Guest chngnwnd

Guest chngnwnd

Posted
Posted

Today I had an argument with my oldest son about how he has been acting and treating the family over the past couple of weeks. He has been rude and hateful to everyone in the family. When I confronted him about this he threw some stuff at me then rushed me. He punched me in the head and arm then I kicked him out of the house. I did not want to - but if he is attacking me I can't have him in the same house as me. Right now I am in pain and I don't know where my son is. My parents are looking for him. I called my ex to come get him - but I doubt she will. I am in as lot of physical and emotional pain right now. My arm hurst so bad it is hard to type even. I don't want to lose my son. I am so afraid he is on drugs or has something seriously wrong with him and I can't do anything to help - he is a danger to me. He even told me that he did not punch me when I got up from the floor.

Bobbi

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Guest Donna Jean

Guest Donna Jean

Posted
Posted

Make a police report, but don't file charges if he apologizes.

Lizzy

I agree...that's about all you can do to protect yourself and still keep things together in some respect...

Good Luck

Donna Jean

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Guest CariadsCarrot

Guest CariadsCarrot

Posted
Posted

I'm so sorry Bobi. I have not quite reached this point with my son but my partner and I have had a lot of problems with his behaviour and we did have to resort to reporting to the police last year. It was heartbreaking...the toughest thing we have ever had to do to him, but it did help because that particular behaviour stopped. We are still fighting with other behaviour but after the police gave him a good talking to and explained what would happen if he did it again (court etc.) that behaviour hasn't been repeated.

Some other behaviour is still going on. He is on his last chance before expulsion at school after being found with a friend on school property trying to set fire to a gas lighter (but after we talked that through in no uncertain terms his most recent report has been glowing!) and we found him playing with matches AGAIN in the kitchen only this evening. We have finally found out about and got him referred to something called the 'early intervention team' which takes children at risk of getting a criminal record and works with them to turn their life around to more positive things. It really does sound like a good thing for him and we have every hope of it working.

I wonder if there is anything like that where you live. We found out about it through our family doctor. It may be worth you kicking up a fuss at your sons doctor, school (if he's still at school) and with the police. Tell them you need help with his behaviour because you are afraid of where this violent behaviour is heading and you aren't safe around him any more. You need to be safe from his violence and he needs help with his anger. There is help out there but you have to push for it coz they don't offer it easy. We struggled and asked for help for years before we finally got referred to this help for our son.

How old is your son BTW? Mine is 12.

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Michelle 2010 Rhenium Member

Michelle 2010

Posted
Posted

Today I had an argument with my oldest son about how he has been acting and treating the family over the past couple of weeks. He has been rude and hateful to everyone in the family. When I confronted him about this he threw some stuff at me then rushed me. He punched me in the head and arm then I kicked him out of the house. I did not want to - but if he is attacking me I can't have him in the same house as me. Right now I am in pain and I don't know where my son is. My parents are looking for him. I called my ex to come get him - but I doubt she will. I am in as lot of physical and emotional pain right now. My arm hurst so bad it is hard to type even. I don't want to lose my son. I am so afraid he is on drugs or has something seriously wrong with him and I can't do anything to help - he is a danger to me. He even told me that he did not punch me when I got up from the floor.

Bobbi

If his unacceptable behavior has only lasted a couple of weeks it may not be drugs. Not sure how old your son is but when mine used to get off course in "respecting" the family we used to take a walk (because then we weren't in his territory or mine), and I would point out that every thing is a choice. That he received certain toys, privileges, curfews etc by doing certain things, and respecting his mom was one of them. My favorite saying was (and he could finish the sentence for me...) "With increased freedom comes increased.....responsibility." Your son may be too old for that or too far out of line, but it is something that might work with the other kids... Just need to start when they'll still walk around the block with youfriends.gif

Good luck!

Michelle

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Guest chngnwnd

Guest chngnwnd

Posted
Posted

I did call the police. It was heartbreaking - because there are clear signs that I was assaulted, they have to file charges against him. I spent my evening in the emergency room, too. I am uncomfortable and in pain, but not seriously injured - no broken bones or dislocations. Right now he is at my parents' house. I can't have him here - I don't feel safe around him right now.

I need to see my therapist I think. When he gets angry or upset, he verbally attacks me and use very abusive language and the last couple fo weeks that behavior excalated - more frequent and more abusive language than normal - then the physical attack. I am worried because I am making excuses for him to my parents and trying to rationalize his behavior.

It's nights like this that I wish I had a partner to support me. I feel so alone right now.

Bobbi

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Guest chngnwnd

Guest chngnwnd

Posted
Posted

I have seen my therapist and we are getting help for my son, but I am still out of work.

He hit me in the head pretty hard and gave me a concussion - which is affecting me with sudden severe headaches, occasional blurred vision, occasional confusion, dizzy spells, and having trouble concentrating. I was wondering how long this lasts and what else to expect...

Also, tomorrow will be the first time I see my son since Monday. I am going to my parents' house to talk to him.

Bobbi

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Guest JaniceW

Guest JaniceW

Posted
Posted

Bobbi,

A year or so ago I had a fall on ice and hit my head causing a concussion, the symptoms took about a week or two to completely resolve. It was the weirdest two weeks I ever recall though.

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Guest Krisina

Guest Krisina

Posted
Posted

Get better soon Bobbi and protect yourself and be safe. Your safety right now is the most operant thing I think. It is good too that your son will be getting some help. But you need to be safe.

Krisina

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Guest CariadsCarrot

Guest CariadsCarrot

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry about the concussion Bobbi, it sounds horrible. I'm glad your therapist is helping you to get help for your son.

Please be careful when you go to see him. If he starts showing signs of getting worked up don't stay and put yourself in harms way.

Gabe

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