2 Months On Hrt, Lately I've Getting Mixed Feelings

[Guest Jinny M]

Hi Everyone, I'll be starting my 3rd month next week of my HRT , I'm on Spiro and Estradoil.

in the last few weeks , I've been having on/off feelings about stopping my HRT.

I brought this up with my theraphist at my last visit and also discussed it with my wife.

Both have reminded me that I've researched Transgenderism , I accepted my being Transgender, I've always felt like I've should have been born female , I always dressed when I could since I was a child , for as long as I could remeber anyway.

My wife supports me fully and she has told me many , many times that what I'm doing is fine with her. She loves me for who I am.

I still faithfully take my meds everyday .. it usually hits me when I hang out with my guy friends I've known all my life.. the feeling comes and goes but is away 80% of the time.

I know I like doing household cleaning alot more than I used too. I have more energy , I'm a happier person and I'm more sensitive about subjects and things in general.. I guess it's easier to say I'm more emotional. what I've noticed physically so far is : My skin is softer some , my hair even feels softer and I smell thing differently now.

My stylist, who is a Gorgous Women ( she is a fully transitioned Trans girl ) , she even models, sings and performs and varous functions and shows. I havent see her for 6 weeks , but last Saturday when I went to get my hair cut and my brows done , she noticed I have a glow to my skin and that its softer and that my hair is definatly softer. she asked if I had noticed anything happieing in the breast area , I told her nothing yet..

I've been alittle down , because I had a full body wax and Now it's almost all grown back in now , I still have some starting to just pop out , so she said I still have about 3-4 weeks to go before its time to do it again and also because of my balding , which my stylist seems to think , it's filling in some ,, since she last saw me.

But because of the body hair and the balding ,, I get bummed and start feeling not so feminine and I also get bummed after hanging with the guys all day , talking about our motorcycles, atvs and classic cars.. other than that I'm fine.

I see my therphist next week , I'll be sure to bring my thoughts up with her again , she told me last time it sounded as if the hormones were starting to chemically changing my brain to more of a Female Brain.

Now has anyone else experienced these feelings ? is this Normal ? is the male parts of the brain fighting off the developing female parts ?

Sorry for such a long post....

Jinny

[Carolyn Marie]

Hey, Jinny, what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I called it "buyer's remorse" when I discussed similar feelings with my G.T. Look, you've invested a long time in your prior life. You have friends, a wife, a job, all the accouterments of a good life. Now you are set to change all of that, perhaps lose some of it. It's scary, and you would not be a normal person not to be at least a little afraid of such a big change.

Talk these feelings over with your G.T., with your wife, and they will help you find your way past them. If you truly are transsexual, and feel like you need to transition to be true to yourself, and become the person you know yourself to be, then you will get over these fears and anxieties and began to embrace this new life. You have a big leg up on many by having a supportive S/O.. That is a very uncommon thing, and you should lean on her when you need to. She is transitioning with you, learning to live another life herself. Help each other, support each other, and you both will be fine.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Honey - wayyyyyyy early. The HRT is starting to kick in probably, but it is mainly psychosomatic changes you feel. Physically some skin softening will probably be starting - but you need more time.

Your male brain does not exist, it never did. If you are diagnosed transsexual (which is a special type of transgenderism - they are not exactly the same thing) you have ALWAYS had a female brain It is the testosterone that it had to process that is possibly fighting your body, plus your old male socialization.

You have had a gasoline engine (your brain) running on kerosene. Now you have the proper high octane gasoline.

Give it time. BUT - definitely talk with your therapist, it's always possible transitioning is not for you.

Lizzy

[Guest Jinny M]

Thank You Carolyn and Elizabeth !

I will talk to my Theraphist about it at our next appointment. Yesterday and Today I'm fine with it . I definatly got to be the Testosterone fighting back and definatly scared of losing friends I've known since I was young. I get those feelings or buyers remorse after we hang out for a day just us guys or even days when it's all us couples together. I do know when the time comes to tell them , either they'll except or they wont and then I'll know who my real freinds have always been. I'm sure they'll all feel uncomfortable about it... My wife tells me I worry to much ..

Thank You for your support Ladies !

Jinny