Too Old?

[Guest ranse]

While it seems like I have dreamed of being male bodied since before I was even conscious, I had no idea growing up that transition was possible until I was in my mid-twenties. I was fearful of rejection and abandonment by my family so I suppressed all my true drives and played "girl" as best as I could. It's taken me until my 40s to decide that I do have a right to live my life for me in regards to this particular issue. However, I wonder if it's too late to start the physical transition. Will HRT have as much of an affect on the middle-aged body as it would on someone starting during their teens or 20s? Is it pointless to pursue this?

[Guest JaniceW]

Ranse,

The quick answer is no it is not too late, but I will defer to others more able to speak from actual life's experience. I am sure they will be right along.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I am age 63, I started transition at age 61 - I hope to be complete by the time I am age 65.

Lizzy

[Guest]

Hi Ranse,

Many of us girls have started out at a wise (old) age. I can assure you that HRT has a positive effect - Yowsa!!! Hopefully John and others will come by and talk about HRT's effect for you guys.

Bottom line: It's never to late to be your true self!

Best of luck!

Love, Kat

[Guest Leah1026]

It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~ George Eliot

While being older may diminish the physical effects of hormones, it does not diminish the mental effects.

I have felt better since the day I started estrogen 7+ years ago.

[Guest John Chiv]

Ranse,

I started my physical transition at age 45. I am 47 now. I was not able to start taking T until about 6 months ago. Since I am not a medical professional, my first advice to you would be not to believe anything on the internet and take what any of us say individually with a grain of salt. There are some good sites, there are some doctors like Nick Gorton that people know individually and whose research and guidelines are cited and respected for FTMs, we here could be helpful sharing our experiences but you need to discuss this with your own doctor and be honest about your health history.

Assuming you can take hormones safely, yes it does make a difference even at my age. How T affects us individually and what changes occur and when depends on each of us and our genes. I have only been on hormones for 6 months and I am happy. How I feel about these differences has been impacted by having a good therapist, support system and confidence in myself.

The physical changes happen, how I see them and how I feel about them depends on how I am feeling. Would I have preferred to transition at 20? It may or may not have made my life easier, given the times then and the attitudes then. There are benefits to transitioning at a late age. Hopefully you have or will read posts in the FTM forums and other forums where FTMs also post that will give you a broader view than the responses on this thread.

John

[Sally]

Ranse ,

Quite simply put transitioning at any age is not easy and a slow process - how much HRT will effect your body is determined by genetics more than just age so the phrase, your mileage may very is in place here too.

Some of the older girls have had amazing results from their HRT while some of the younger ones have had slightly less - it is more up to your genes than your age.

Obviously sooner would have been better but that ship has sailed so don't worry about that any more just talk to your doctor and be prepared for the next one.

Love ya,

Sally

[Carolyn Marie]

I agree with all of the comments, Ranse. In my case, I have achieved decent secondary sexual characteristics, the changes to skin and body hair have been what I hoped for, etc. I don't think the redistribution of body fat has been,

or will be, as dramatic as it is for younger folks, but that doesn't mean there hasn't been any.

It is a very individual thing. But you are certainly not too old, Ranse. I would have been delighted to have transitioned in my 40's.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[JJ]

Ranse I started T about 3 months ago. I am 64. Has it done anything for me at my age?

Well, my voice has dropped drastically, the whole top register is gone, I have a lot more hair-some unwanted, an anatomical change that exceeded anything expected, and an unexpected change in my face. I realize that the face change- which is really a change in the softness as I lose fat layers I believe-is a subjective thing, but my 11 year old granddaughter, who is super supportive usually, confided in me last night that my face looks so much more like a man's now that it frightens her because she didn't expect it to change so much. Others are starting to comment too.

And libido has changed. I am already stronger. I can now walk much further than I could before T. I want it to do a lot more but I am surprised and pleased at what has happened and how quickly it happened. There are other changes like feeling right and a feeling of well being but they are so subjective that I can't guarantee they are not at least partially placebo.

I have never been able to find any references to an FtM transitioning as late as I am but I have read that in some ways, short of transitioning as a teenager, age actually helps with FtMs because estrogen production has dropped off and you have a shorter time for the negative effects of T on the heart to have effects. All of that is anecdotal and supposition. I haven't seen any scientific evidence of the effects of age on T therapy and I have really searched.I did discover that one of the major complaints about using T for menopausal treatment is it's masculinization effects. And that is in small doses.

When telling myself I couldn't transition I was looking at old men and saying "What would I gain?"

Dysphoria aside, I was not taking into account the fact that in men T production decreases throughout life from a peak in the early 20s. For us that is not true and is one of the reasons that we look 20 years younger than natal males at our age. Sure our smaller features have a part-(Our noses and ears will be proportionally the size of a younger man's and are strong visual clues we aren't even aware of using to the age of men) but it is more than that. From the reports I have read-again all anecdotal -we tend to have muscle mass and energy beyond that of natal men our age. However all if that is affected by heredity, diet, exercise.

Bottom line-it is never too late to transition!

Besides any masculinization is for me a plus. Makes my body a little easier to live with.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

I agree with all of the comments, Ranse. In my case, I have achieved decent secondary sexual characteristics, the changes to skin and body hair have been what I hoped for, etc. I don't think the redistribution of body fat has been,

or will be, as dramatic as it is for younger folks, but that doesn't mean there hasn't been any.

It is a very individual thing. But you are certainly not too old, Ranse. I would have been delighted to have transitioned in my 40's.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Ranse:

A few points:

One, it is not too late. Read the above posts. Like Carolyn Marie, I started hormone replacement therapy late in life ... at age 54 years and 2 months, actually. The results have been amazing. While I won't go into details in the open forums, believe me when I tell you that hormone replacement therapy is working well. Carolyn Marie is very wise and exceedingly kind. Trust her words.

Two, John Chiv above gives you sage advice. Believe him. Likewise for JohnJ, our Beloved Big Brother of Laura's Playground. Believe him too. They are two very smart and very caring transguys. They are "living the dream" you are comtemplating. I believe they would answer you quickly and kindly if you decided to private-message them.

Third, I AM a medical professional. While I'm not a M.D., my knowledge of medical language and procedures matches that of most doctors. I've done medical transcribing for 15 years as well as QA/QC of transcription (best of the best), so from a professional perspective, like John Chiv says above, I recommend that you get your information from medical websites. There are several credible medical websites aimed at regular people and not aimed at doctors. Lastly, the information at Laura's Playground (here) and Susan's Place is extensive and excellent. Trust the information at both of these sites.

Ranse, you CAN do this! Do you WANT to do this? Know that it IS possible ... very possible. It's your call, man. We're here for you.

Hugs! Lacey

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Worth repeating....

"It's never too late to be yourself..."

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Flint]

Ransee, I'm 90 years old and still plan on transitioning....

[Guest Karen K]

Ranse,

I proposed the same question to my therapist a year ago at age 48. He said I had plenty of time left to enjoy being female. I started a low dose of E last Sept and that dosage was increased in Jan, now what I have developed is not worth blowing a bugle for, but I can feel and see the changes and, I don't think I'll be able to do without a bra for very much longer, even under my "guy" shirts. You milage may vary, but do not let your age discourge you.

Laura Jane

[Guest John Chiv]

Ransee, I'm 90 years old and still plan on transitioning....

LOL Matt,

I don't think this answer can be topped. You still have a sense of humor at age 90, now that is amazing!

John

[Guest ranse]

Wow ... thank you all for the encouragement.

I think I feel so used to living the lie and not rocking the boat, that I think is it worth the risk of losing it all to make myself happy? I appreciate the perspective of so many who are or who have transitioned later in life, especially after being established in careers and relationships, etc. Of the mental/emotional side, it does seem to be worth the risks.

As John brings up, there is very little real information out there about the effects of hormones on older transmen. If I only had myself and my own happiness to consider, I would do it in a heartbeat. Because I have kids, though, I worry about any serious complications that might wait down the road. I also worry that as an older person, the hormones may not have much effect and leave me permanently in the androgynous zone rather than emphasizing the masculinity.

I've been reading the various discussions here and find the refrains of happiness and renewed self-worth people find during transition to be inspiring.

[Guest Howzittx]

I have enjoyed reading the comments here because I am almost 46 and have yet to start transitioning. I would love to take T and have top surgery (although, thankfully, there's not really a lot there.) I guess the main thing that has kept me from transitioning is that I am a teacher and I don't see that as being accepted very well. Also, 6 years ago I adopted two boys who are now 10 and 12, and I question whether it would be unfair to them. I am very involved in the community where I have lived for 20 years and it is a small town. However, I think what helps me be content, for the most part, is that I have always been very androgynous. I haven't tried to be, I just don't wear feminine clothes, I have a short spiky hair cut, and my mannerisms are very manly without me even thinking about it. I have been very accepted in my job and my town. Everyone just naturally calls me by just my last name. I was 27 when I had a complete hysterectomy because of health issues and I don't take female hormones. So, I would say, I really can't complain. I hope that anyone that chooses to make a change at any age feels the freedom and happiness I think we all want. Maybe someday that will be me!

Beck

[Guest Mina89]

I'm 21, and sometimes I think I'm too old.

But I see people transitioning at twice, three times, or four times my age and don't think for a second that it's too late for them. I might be alone in this perception, but I don't factor age into anyone's prospects for "successful," with the bizarre exception of my own. It actually helps me shut the little negative voice up once in a while.

One woman in my support group is in her late 70's and began transitioning in her 60's. She is perfectly passable, and one of the most interesting, savvy, and sassy chicks I have ever met. I don't think being in your 40's shuts you out of transitioning.

-Valerie

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Ranse,

HRT does have a lesser effect on those who are post-puberty. However this does not mean that HRT is not still effective with people who are in their 40s

I would recommend that you examine the stories of those who have successfully transitioned after they were forty. You will find many testimonies on the internet.

What you need to identify for yourself is where you are comfortable.

I know that you will find that answer.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Colm]

I agree with Valerie. I'm 22, but seeing the kind of support our teens get here makes me wish I had known to get help here when I needed it at age 13.

I think you've got to look at the whole picture from a health perspective and make sure you're OK to take hormones from that perspective, but if you are, then better late than never, eh?

[Guest ranse]

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has wondered about whether they're too old, whether transitioning is selfish, etc. It's been eye opening to see that so many others have been in or are in the same place. It's real hard not to feel like I'm doing something completely crazy pursuing this. However, I have made my first appointment with a gender therapist and will play it by ear from here. Thank you, everyone, for chiming in with your experiences and thoughts.

[Guest Eric6]

Hey Ranse and others, you make me feel better, because I've also been questioning my age, am I too late etc! I'm 47! There, I've said it. I actually feel younger! It's like I never got a chance to be a boy so now I want one. I've just joined a local transguys group for my area, btw, which felt like a big step. Actual surgery? I don't know. Probably money will stop me there, as in I don't have it, but I'm sure going to be the best guy I can.

Hang in there, dude!

*love that word, dude!*

Alex

[Guest connor]

Hi Ranse, I too feared losing those I love, and so played girl as best as I could. I am 42, but like Alex, I don't feel my age. I guess feel like a kid who never grew up.

Connor

[Guest ranse]

Woo-hoo for the second childhood! Like it says on the main page, this is a second chance in so many ways. I'm trying to focus on that rather than the possible losses ahead. Who ever knows what lies ahead for them? Why not think positive and assume the best until proven wrong?