Something Weird's Happening

[Guest Nostros]

Okay so I've been on low dose HRT for a while, but I never have tried to pass in public or anything, well I'm probably not passing now, it's just that I'm just being myself minding my own business and it's interesting to see how people stare at me almost all the time.. (I kinda don't know if that's a good or a bad thing), and sometimes when I walk by some guys I hear some comments from them afterwards like "Is that a dude?" or "He looks fragile like a girl" orr for example I went to a hair salon last week to get my hair shortened, and the hairdresser felt really all confused about what I was, she kinda asked weather to give me a woman hairstyles magazine to browse or mens. Or in school the guys call me a "woman" as an insult and to hurt me, but of course that's actually the best compliment to me, but they don't know it ^^

So yeah. Is it a positive thing? I clearly don't pass as a woman, but being my guy self I just constantly am getting "second-looks" and comments like that. I wish I would just pass and people wouldn't talk about me or stare at me all the time....

[Guest Miss_Construe]

Nostros,

I understand your pain. I am currently in the awkward phase of transitioning. The looks get to be disheartening. To make matters worse, I just dyed my hair a very feminine color. Now i REALLY get looks. but hey, you know what, someday those voices will be talking about how great we look in jeans. Don't fret sister.

<3

Amy

[Guest]

Hello Nostros,

Think of it like puberty - remember those cute little kids who turn all awkward for several years, only to blossom into something beautiful? Welcome to the awkward phase!

But, I've been stuck there forever! Since you're younger, it should pass much more quickly... Watch out world!

In the meantime, just hang in there - and enjoy turning heads!

Love, Kat

[Carolyn Marie]

If people are making those kinds of comments about you, even though you've been on hormones only a short time, then I think it won't be long at all before the woman within is unmistakable.

How are your mannerisms, hon? Is your walk, and how you stand, and use your arms, and how you hold yourself, in the female mode most of the time? Those little things add up, and will help you pass with ease.

The in between time is really the worst, but like Kathleen said, it won't last long at all. People can see the girl already peeking out.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Oh yes!

Sounds like you are getting a very good start! That androgynous time SUX but passes faster than you think. Then guess what? You are there!

Persevere and love those little steps of affirmation along the way

(You will keep us informed, right?)

Lizy

[Guest Nostros]

Thank you for your replies.

Well yeah I just try to look at this whole unwanted attention as a positive thing, that they're noticing the change, which I myself am hardly noticing, so it's a good "thumbs up" from the world saying I'm doing good.^^

Other news is that I called a gender therapist today, to maybe have a meeting with him, cuz I've been self-medicating, and from comments on LP I figured that it's a bad thing and that I would get better results if a therapist prescribes me medicine and not by myself, so yeah it's a big step forward to me, because I've been on low dose HRT, which gave me only slow results (been doing this for... I dunno, atleast a year an a half)so yeah If the therapist prescribes me "Real HRT" then I'll be expecting some new changes ^. ^

The other thing is that I don't want to have a psychological therapy, to "prepare me" for HRT, so I'll just say to that therapist that I've already decided to be a woman, and I already am on HRT, and I only need him to monitor me what I take for HRT. Is that a good idea? Do you think he'll skip the psychological analysis/treatment part?? Cuz I'm definitely am not going to stop using my own medicine until he prescribes me something better.

[Guest Colm]

I'll just say to that therapist that I've already decided to be a woman, and I already am on HRT, and I only need him to monitor me what I take for HRT. Is that a good idea? Do you think he'll skip the psychological analysis/treatment part?? Cuz I'm definitely am not going to stop using my own medicine until he prescribes me something better.

I think that if you say that they may be more likely to not write you a letter for HRT. Usually, they want you to invest in the therapeutic process and make sure for yourself that this is really the right thing to do. Sometimes the therapy can be more helpful than you might think initially, and since you're going to be paying the therapist anyway, why not make the most of your money and get some therapy in addition to the letter? It couldn't hurt.

I'm glad you know that self-medicating is dangerous, because some of those potential side effects are frightening.

Take care,

Colm

[Guest Maria_B]

Oh sweetie, you never told me you were self medding!

At least you're going about this with monitoring, now

I've always said you've looked girly beyond compare I don't lie !

Keep beautiful, beautiful.

Love, Maria <3

[Guest Nostros]

I think that if you say that they may be more likely to not write you a letter for HRT. Usually, they want you to invest in the therapeutic process and make sure for yourself that this is really the right thing to do. Sometimes the therapy can be more helpful than you might think initially, and since you're going to be paying the therapist anyway, why not make the most of your money and get some therapy in addition to the letter? It couldn't hurt.

I'm glad you know that self-medicating is dangerous, because some of those potential side effects are frightening.

Take care,

Colm

Yeah the thing is that I don't really have any much money at all.. So I'm not sure if only 1 hour therapy session would help me Or the therapist, and he would want me to get the full "treatment" which would take like forever.......... I really could do the therapy, but I just don't have the money, I'm still a student, I don't earn much.

[Guest chngnwnd]

Nostros - it is best to see the therapist. They can help with so many issues. My therapist has helped me a lot and continues to be helpful since starting HRT.

hugs

Bobbi