Looking Into The Idea Of Androgyny

[Guest Koakoa]

I'm still trying to discover myself, and while the idea of MtF is interesting and something that I feel is me, it doesn't feel like something I can commit to. I never much cared for the whole social roles/ideals things, and even if I were to go and present myself as a female, I know I'd never really act so much as a girl, rather than a random happy-go-lucky mess and range of emotions and actions more natural to me. I'm more of the mysterious/withheld type that would probably prefer saying and doing something random, than to confine to male or female.

Rather than feeling trapped with the transitioning of MtF, what are some of the conveys of androgyny? If I have a sort of male figure, how would I best dress and design myself into being more neutral, rather than just looking like a drag-queen? How would I act, express, enjoy, express (non-voice), and best feel as being neither gender?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I suggest you look at older posts in this androgyny forum. You can also use the search engine here.

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

I know I'd never really act so much as a girl, rather than a random happy-go-lucky mess and range of emotions and actions more natural to me. I'm more of the mysterious/withheld type that would probably prefer saying and doing something random, than to confine to male or female.

Rather than feeling trapped with the transitioning of MtF, what are some of the conveys of androgyny? If I have a sort of male figure, how would I best dress and design myself into being more neutral, rather than just looking like a drag-queen? How would I act, express, enjoy, express (non-voice), and best feel as being neither gender?

Well, you said "I'm more of the mysterious/withheld type that would probably prefer saying and doing something random, than to confine to male or female."

So, just be that.

There is no uniform or rules to any of this....just be yourself...

How should you act? Be yourself...

Dress as you feel....If male or female social rules aren't for you, don't go by them. Find your own place.

Donna Jean

[Guest Koakoa]

it seems as easy as that and probably what I would best enjoy, but I think it's more of not knowing what I want (I'm rarely ever decisive) and would like to use it as a means of better becoming of myself.

[Guest Opal]

Have you looked at any of the styles that are considered unisex? Any colors or patterns you prefer? There is a lot of room for personal expression, and although it may make it more difficult to decide, you have more freedom of statement.

From what I understand Androgyny can have elements of both gender, or it can have elements of neither gender. I hope I am not making things even more confusing, LOL!

You will do just fine with what you decide.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest Kendall]

I'm still trying to discover myself, and while the idea of MtF is interesting and something that I feel is me, it doesn't feel like something I can commit to. I never much cared for the whole social roles/ideals things, and even if I were to go and present myself as a female, I know I'd never really act so much as a girl, rather than a random happy-go-lucky mess and range of emotions and actions more natural to me. I'm more of the mysterious/withheld type that would probably prefer saying and doing something random, than to confine to male or female.

Rather than feeling trapped with the transitioning of MtF, what are some of the conveys of androgyny? If I have a sort of male figure, how would I best dress and design myself into being more neutral, rather than just looking like a drag-queen? How would I act, express, enjoy, express (non-voice), and best feel as being neither gender?

may sound simplistic, but the answer is "whatever is right for you."

there are no boundaries, no path, no rules, no guidelines. only you, your heart, your identity, and your soul.

one can remain the same, change, or transition, set whatever roles and definitions one desires.

or accept and reject anything cisgender or transgender.

if expressing is your thing you can either masculinize, feminize, neutralize, or androgynize genderwise. or mix and match...

cuts, colors, styles, fabrics, and accessories.

the simplest thing to neutralize is colors and fabrics. or buy something from the women's section or online, which has a different cut, and button placement, yet is in a masculine, androgynous, or neutral color (dark to medium blues, greens, browns, or some whites depending on cut). or something in the men's which is more feminine, neutral, or androgynous (pinks, yellows, light blues, light greens).

of course your body shape determines what colors, cuts, and styles add emphasis or minimizes certain body parts. there are certain rules to fashion and looking good. also seasons can influence what can look good, styles, and colors.

stuff like that is something to try.

[Guest Micha]

it seems as easy as that and probably what I would best enjoy, but I think it's more of not knowing what I want (I'm rarely ever decisive) and would like to use it as a means of better becoming of myself.

I think I understand this quite well, but we'll see I guess. . .

It does sound simple, "do what you like, don't worry how it relates to gender."

I don't know if the conditioning runs to deep or if I'm just over thinking things, but it does seem to me that the standards and gender roles established by a binary system are subconscious.

I don't know how to act, as an androgyne, or to be gender neutral. I just go about as is comfortable for me. The most important thing right now in my perspective is to see that gender has nothing to do with how I am. If I do something to feel masculine, I'm abandoning myself. If I do something to be feminine, I'm a hypocrite. However if I do something because I want to, regardless of it's relation to gender, then I'm being true to myself. It's not simple. it's not easy, but it's the only answer that makes any sense to me.

As far as dress and cothes, I'm lost. I can't "pass" as of yet, so I don't bother. I intend to get to a point where I'm happy with my body and appearance, and then I'll explore possibilities more thoroughly. 'Till then, I'll stick to simple and comfortable. Sorry I can't help you here.

[Guest Chrysee]

a random happy-go-lucky mess

Okay, perhaps the term 'mess' is a put-off, but to some in our community (at least at first) the idea of being 'happy-go-lucky' no doubt sounded akin to the Holy Grail.

It was a year ago last month that I came out, and since then it has seemed to me that rather than springing this Earth shaking surprise on people in my life, I in fact was the last to know. When I came out to my daughters, one of them informed me that to her I had always seemed androgynous. Then, when I reestablished contact with some people that I'd grown close to as a member of The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, someone commented that from the way I dressed, they'd always thought that I at least looked androgynous. So apparently, when I wasn't concerned about how to present myself to project a certain inner quality, but was simply being myself, people around me were seeing the true me, even if I wasn't.

Get in touch with who you really are and the outer stuff will come naturally.

Oh, and if I may. . .I mentioned above my daughter, and one week ago yesterday she gave birth to my granddaughter! Her name is Emery Mae, and she arrived 18" long and 7lbs. 6ozs. I so very, very much wanted to share that, but didn't feel that it warranted a separate thread,

Thanks, and best of luck, Koakoa, sweetie. There are many good people and much good to learn here.