Not A Drinker, But...

[Guest Sakurai]

I'm not too keen on the subject. I never was really fond of alcohol. I've drank before, but mildly, not too avid or frequent. My brother is though. He's been drinking since before I could remember. He's been an alcoholic for at least 3 years, as well as a druggie. I'm really worried about him. Really, he doesn't want to quit.

Usually when He drinks, its not moderate. He parties hard and between him and 3 people, they can pack it away by the case. I remember him same "We only have a case and a half, and hell, I can drink that by myself" It really scares me. He's gonna wind up killing himself.

He drinks ,as well as does cocaine from time to time, though not often. Usually he just smokes weed, but he's also done acid pretty heavily in the past.

Any advice on how to cope with him, or maybe get through to him?

[Guest Sergei]

To be honest with you I really don't believe a person can quit unless they really want to. I've been drinking heavily for four years now, and would consider myself an alcoholic for the last two a least. The trouble is I know what harm I am doing to myself, but I really just don't want to quit. The reason I drink, and still want to drink is because I'm unhappy. If I could solve the reasons I am unhappy then maybe I would want to try and start thinking about giving up. Your brother must be doing all of this because he is unhappy. For me alcohol is an escape. It's a break. A few hours when I can numb my brain and not have to soberly think about the way I am feeling. Try and talk to your brother. If you can work out why he is doing this then maybe you will have a chance to help him. It's great that he has somebody concerned about him and watching out for him. I hope you both get through it. xx

[Guest Robin/bobbi]

I found a way in AA. WWW.AA.ORG

I'm reasonably content with my life today and transitioning. I have 4 years and nine months of sobriety. They held my hand and showed me how to live.

I remember drinking to be numb. After a while that stop working. And then i was drinking and thinking. Could not turn it off no matter what.

The Lonliness is what did me in and the fact i could not cross over that line to mental insitution crazy or die. The jail route was going to be an option too because the rage was seeping out. Alcohol beat me up bad.

I had to get sober first and then deal with all of my issues. I have to feel to let go of the past.

Come join us or find another way...

When the alcohol and drugs stop working and you had enough of you...

Until then i hope you can get some comfort.

[Guest raydub]

Might I suggest you attend an Al-anon meeting for yourself?

This is a group for individuals directly affected by alcoholics. There is also Alateen for younger individuals. www.al-anon.alateen.org/

The disease of alcoholism is a family disease. When one suffers, we all suffer.. despite the alcoholic's current inability to see that. (I PERSONALLY didnt see it affecting anyone but me... I was WRONG!!!!)

Sakurai - give yourself a break hon. Like Sergei said, your brother will have to WANT to stop drinking in order to stop. He has to be willing to make the effort. Maybe you can subtly drop some hints about AA and what AA is to him. Maybe buy the big book (Alcoholics Anonymous) and leave it around for him to see it. Take a look at the book yourself. (you might even be able to get one for free at an Al-anon meeting.)

I hope you give some of the suggestions a try. Good luck and let us know how things go.

In love and service,

Raymond W.

[Guest Evan_J]

I have to ditto whats been said. The only person who can quit for your brother is your brother. I know family members, friends, s/o's....they all want to know "what can I do" but those moves have to be his. You can look out for you however, as was suggested with al-anon and alateen and maybe if he sees you with the information it could trigger him to wonder how what he's doing is affecting you. For me that would've been the best move. Preaching and letting me know I was killing myself just made me resentful and resistant and usually I would only push that person away that much harder. "What? You don't want me to do what? See you, bye" and I would turn off the 'you are in my life' button. It's hard but sometimes thats how people are.

However it goes, you have this forum, the chat, an opportunity to talk about it. Look into those other resources as well. Nar- anon is another. If and when that time shows up that your brother takes his step then you can do something and that something will be just be there. Don't try to walk it for him. Just be there.

Good luck to you both.

It can happen.