My Best Friend

[Guest Courtney Taylor]

I want to tell him, I want to tell him so bad! I've wanted to do it for a year now. I know he would understand and I trust him to keep my secrets, but I don't know if he could keep one of this magnitude. We worked together and so we share the same friends, I think they will understand for the most part but I'm not ready to tell them yet and I want to on my terms. Recently he has started to pull away from me, kinda like I did once I started to transition. I'm the last to know about everything in his life if I even find out.

It's really starting to get to me, I feel like I'm responsible for killing our friendship. He knows that something is up and I keep lying and telling him its nothing. On my way home from work tonight I stopped at the intersection that leads to his house and almost broke into tears. He recently left work with us so I haven't gotten to see him much lately. In all honesty I just hate the lies that I've been feeding him because I've been afraid. I've been telling him that I have been going to the Cardiologist for all kinds of different tests, I did go once really tho, when I have really been going for blood work.

I feel better now I kinda needed to vent this. Actually after getting this out I feel like I need to talk to him before things get any worse. Wish me luck everyone. I also hope that this was the right area to post this.

Courtney T.

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

I'm glad posting helped you work out what you want to do. It can do that for me sometimes too. To be honest often when I post it's more for that reason than to actually be telling anyone else, although the responses for the awesome people round here usually help too.

I hope talking to your friend goes well.

...and please make sure that whatever else you tell him you make sure he knows that all those appointments weren't really cardiology tests...if he believes you've been having that many tests he's probably afraid there's something seriously wrong with you!

Good luck Courtney

Gabe

[Guest Audrey Elizabeth]

Gosh Courtney that is really rough and I know how you feel. When your heart really wants to come out to someone but fear stands in the way, it really is tough. I sure do understand about needing to vent and I hope it helped clear your mind so you can do what is best for you.

Audrey

[Sally]

Sometimes just writing things down can help us to find our own answers.

Good luck with your friend, I hope all goes well and that he is as understanding as you hope.

Love ya,

Sally