Words That Are Not Ok

[Guest ashermohawk]

its really weird, but i dont like certain "female related" words. for example, i dont like the words pregnant, period, pads, tampon, breasts, panites, vagina, and lesbian (no offense to lesbians, but the word is weird to me). does anyone else have gender-specificish-words that they dont like? it would be cool to know.

-knox

[Guest kelise]

Is this why men never buy their GF's tampons? Seriously guys, C'mon. I'm not bothered by penis, scrotum, testicles, etc.

[Guest Mina89]

The next person to call me "dude," "buddy," or "sonny" no matter what gender I'm presenting will not walk away with a tongue.

-Valerie

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

Yeah...this made me think Knox and yeah there are female related words that make me cringe. many of the same ones you've said.

Some of them though I find easier to deal with when I don't see them as being connected to me. Like, I have been able to say 'woman' without cringing more easily since I've stopped trying to force myself into that category.

Other's still make me cringe.

Gabe

[Guest ShortyT]

Personally I'm not bothered by female related words, but I can fully understand those who are. Some simply don't like them, others can actually find them triggering.

There are some trans women who are bothered by male related words aswell. One persons experience only applies to.. well, that one person.

[JJ]

Specific words don't bother me. Except for slang terms for female anatomy. I suppose they sexualize those parts and that makes me uncomfortable. I never use them.

Otherwise I'm fine with the words themselves.

Johnny

[Guest Donna Jean]

There are some trans women who are bothered by male related words aswell. One persons experience only applies to.. well, that one person.

Well said, Hon......

Donna Jean

[Flint]

The word lesbian I used to cringe at hearing because I was hearing it about myself. It wasn't that I hated the word because it was a female thing, more that I felt disconnected from the word lesbian while at the same time it triggered something inside saying "That isn't right about me." but I couldn't figure out back then why it didn't feel right, I convinced myself somewhat that I just disliked the word. I didn't mind the fact I liked girls, what I did mind was the fact that when it came to certain things with girls something in my head was "woah...this just isn't right...I can't..." well basically I couldn't get much from it because in my head I was really having to concentrate on an image of myself as male while...You catch my drift.

I don't hate the words periods, pads, vagina when it is talking about females. However I do not like them when/if someone/myself talking about myself. Again it's not really that I hate the words, hate would mean I hear the words and feel disgust. And while I dislike the idea of having those female terms said about me and they make me cringe it's more because I feel like someone is putting a false perception of me out there and that I do not like and begin to feel suffocated with. More than anything I feel disconnected towards those words because they don't fit me. To me it's like someone dressing me up in clothes that just don't fit my body. Like a t-shirt that swallows me because it blatantly does not fit.

I don't particularity like slang term towards female parts, I hear them from male friends in jokes all the time. As long as their in jokes I don't seem to cringe as much although a part of me does wince ever so slightly. But when you hear men talking about women in that way and seem to be talking serious and with enthusiasm about it mixed in with male aggression I cringe throughout my body. And even if I'm joking which I do often do I can't bring myself to say those words.

[KieranD]

I'm okay with female language so long as it isn't applied to me. If somebody tries to describe my genitals with female language I get uncomfortable really quick. This also happens when somebody says something like "are you on your period?" or generally says anything that pegs me as female.

[Guest PaintedWingss]

I have certain words that sting when I'm in guy mode, but don't when I'm in girl mode. Like when I'm a guy, and a name like, "TayJean" or "angel" gets used by my grandma (which is referring to me as a girl), it kind of makes me cringe, or when I'm referred to as female in any way, I get a flare of frustration. Other female or male related words don't usually bother me, though.

_ Taylor

[Guest kelise]

OK, I get it. I guess when the words are directed AT you, I would get uncomfortable as well. I retract my previous statement.

[Guest BrandonIThink]

In general, no words really bother me; however, I am physically unable to discuss periods in reference to myself (<couldn't even type "my" before that word). I just can't. Also, when my friends get into discussions about tampons (like they did last night) I get kinda weirded out, but it's not unbearably uncomfortable or anything.

And phrases like sister, daughter, or girl (used in the "hey girl!" sense) really bother me, but I put up with them on a daily basis, so you kinda learn to bitterly live with them after a while.

[Guest ashermohawk]

OK, I get it. I guess when the words are directed AT you, I would get uncomfortable as well. I retract my previous statement.

yeah, thats what i meant, sorry if it wasnt clear. but yeah, i feel real uncomfortable going up to my mom that time of the month. i'm normaly like "hey mom, my stomache 'hurts'. i need some 'things'..." then shes just like "period?" and i'm like "..........yeah........." tis weird to talk about!

[Guest Wulfhere]

yeah, thats what i meant, sorry if it wasnt clear. but yeah, i feel real uncomfortable going up to my mom that time of the month. i'm normaly like "hey mom, my stomache 'hurts'. i need some 'things'..." then shes just like "period?" and i'm like "..........yeah........." tis weird to talk about!

This kind of made me laugh because that's exactly what I always called them to my mom. "Things." Luckily my mum just went with my use of "thing" to denote that time of the month/"things" needed for that time of the month. I was never ever able to refer to periods in relation to myself and luckily my mom caught on fast to that and didn't force the issue. God, I can't type it either, lol.

Also, ditto on talking about it with friends. Some female friends used to jokingly say "what, you're going to pretend it doesn't happen to you." Well...yeah...preferably!

I also agree on female things in relation to myself. I don't care about words like vagina, breasts etc. on their own, but I can't put "my" in front of them and it completely freaks me out a lot if someone else refers to any female body parts on me.

Generally when talking to other transfolks, if anatomy/biological sex-specific issues ever comes up in conversation, I'm really careful not to relate any unwanted anatomy to them unless I know what they're comfortable with. I think it's important to be sensitive to that in trans-friendly spaces...or in the world in general.

[Guest AlexForever]

And phrases like sister, daughter, or girl (used in the "hey girl!" sense) really bother me, but I put up with them on a daily basis, so you kinda learn to bitterly live with them after a while.

That's what bothers me the most, expecially things like "missy", "lady", etc (mostly the equivalent terms in my language)

I don't have problems using "female terms" for my parts if it's in a medical contest or as technical terms, but if I am referring them in an unformal way then I will say things like "my chest"/"my chest lumps", "my mangina"/"my hole down there", "my penis/penis/cocklet" , etc

[Guest Drewbie]

I can't stand the word clitoris. It's just a gross sounding word.

[Guest Emily Ray]

I have to agree that refering to my male genetalia is something I really would like to avoid. Unfortunately I have some really ignorant doctors and they insist I use the terminology when the y know exactly what I am refering to in the discussions. I am going to bring it up next time I go.

Huggs

Emily

[JenniferB]

I guess I might be unique in this perspective. But I see things are what they are. Since it's the truth that I have male parts, it doesn't bother me if a doctor speaks about them. But again I'm very open and don't feel embarrassed or offended often.

All that does to me is make me motivated to work on being my true self so that others think of me as female and situations like that come up less often. In other words, it's an indication I have more work to do.

Jenny

[Guest (Lightsider)]

My roommate remarked one day at work that he did not like to be referred to as she, or queen or princess this or that. And out of the blue some co-worker sniped "what should we call you? It?"

Some people are just brain dead and rude.

If that had happened to me I would have turned to the woman who said that to me and said, shall I refer to you as old f*rt? And would have said it with a dead pan expression. My roommate did not say a word in response. And yes my roommate is FtM.

Sigh. For me? I have yet to be called "Sir" since transition or had a rude gender remark thrown my way so I am not sure how to answer that. Maybe I am just lucky?

[Guest seanjamie]

Aaaah cringe city reading down through these posts you have managed to come across so many of the words that get me cringing. Most of them when directed at me personally.

Totally get what you mean ... one of my most hated is "your my little girl" - sigh... mums.

[Guest Jae_russ]

"The word lesbian I used to cringe at hearing because I was hearing it about myself. It wasn't that I hated the word because it was a female thing, more that I felt disconnected from the word lesbian while at the same time it triggered something inside saying "That isn't right about me." but I couldn't figure out back then why it didn't feel right, I convinced myself somewhat that I just disliked the word."

EXACTLY!!!! I hated the word lesbian in reference to myself before I had any idea I was trans. It just didn't fit me at all.

[Guest Alexandra89]

If that had happened to me I would have turned to the woman who said that to me and said, shall I refer to you as old f*rt? And would have said it with a dead pan expression. My roommate did not say a word in response. And yes my roommate is FtM.

I use a similar strategy with people who are stubborn about the pronouns. I refer to them as "[bad compound word that starts with an A]" or "[really bad word that starts with a C]" in place of their names and every pronoun until they either get the point or force it into an open confrontation involving other people, in which they invariably look like the As and Cs they are when the background of our little "disagreement" comes to light.

So far it has only happened twice, and both times at work (where I am out as of last week). Both of the offenders were guys - frat boy types, one 20-year-old intern and one approaching middle age and being really pathetic about it - who thought the whole thing was funny and spent a few days making jokes about me being gay or trying to "trap" them and calling me "it" and "he/she." So I responded in my little way and by Thursday it had turned into a shouting match that drew the bosses' attention, who were really not pleased with them when they made their case. I'm probably going to need to find a new job anyway, though.

[Guest Alexander A. Bonen]

umm most things that remind me that i'm part of those evil female... it suxs but i got to understand most of things cus my work but i always hope i never hear any of those at all.

[Guest _addison_]

Aaaah cringe city reading down through these posts you have managed to come across so many of the words that get me cringing.

LOL for realzz o.O

i hate it when guys talk about self gratification or their privates using slang cause it reminds me of my parts, and its even worse when people talk to me about my "things" with those words..... i never refer to myself with those words and i just try to kinda forget about them.

something else that will get me angry REALLY fast is when people call me "handsome" or "manly" or tell me "your growing up into a nice/fine/good/whatever young man"....... aghhhh !

[Guest Andreas011]

My roommate remarked one day at work that he did not like to be referred to as she, or queen or princess this or that. And out of the blue some co-worker sniped "what should we call you? It?"

I got asked this by a family member once... it's like, seriously people?

The word "ladies" makes me want to bang my head against a wall.