Why Is It Easier?

[Guest Katie_in_AK]

Question been on my mind all week: "Why is it easier for people to accept gay people and not CD?" Maybe they don't understand...sometimes I don't even. It would be easier for people to accept me as GAY? But I'm not. I love being dressed female as much as possible and feel totally 100% ME, but a "guy in 'womens' clothing" is too far "out there" for people to accept? I'm only out to my wife and her friend (and her friend's CD friend!), but still. Yes, I'm ranting about a society that won't change until I've long been a worm-feast, but still... I'm bitchin. Secretly I don't care who knows and if they understand. None of their business, but like I said, only 3 people do.

[Guest Alexis1989]

Well there are more gays than CDers and the gays fight harder while the CDers stay inside embarrassed

[Guest sarah f]

I believe it is because Gays and Lesbians are more well known by society. For some reason crossdressing is still taboo.

[Guest Megan_Lynn]

Well there are more gays than CDers and the gays fight harder while the CDers stay inside embarrassed

I would have to argue that one. I am pretty sure cross dressers outnumber gays. Factor in that at least 95 percent of cross dressers never show themselves in public while doing so then add in all the drag queens ect . But to answer Katie_in_AK I do believe most people can understand sexuality alot easier then any types of gender expression.

[Guest ChloëC]

I think it's just constant exposure. I understood what being gay was when I was pre-teen back in the 50's with all the perjorative words. In fact, if you were a guy back then, the word 'homo' just rolled off a lot of guy's lips like spit. Anyone who exhibited even the least diversion from macho male activities was called that and lots of other names. ts and tg and cd? They weren't even thought about, everybody fit into the gay category.

So people have been thinking about it (being gay) for a long time. Now add to that, that the media expecially the entertainment world has been showing more and more gay people in a neutral or even positive light for years, while at the same time, gays and lesbians have understood the need for positive public relations and marketing. And playing off people's understanding of tolerance and anti-violence, well, they've done a good job.

TS, TG, and CD people up until very recently if they were seen in the entertainment world, were still placed in roles of victims who almost by their behavior invited violence. It's only been in the past several years that more sympathetic portrayals have been seen, while the rest of the media has been slowly showing ts, tg, and cd people as being little different than gays, as being more 'normal' then what the fanatic haters have tried to show.

Acceptance is coming, but while there are similarities, there are also differences, gays and lesbians while demanding acceptance of their desire for same sex relationships still hold they they are the sex they were born with, they just have different desires. cd's are challenging sexual stereotypes by saying that while they may be heterosexual, they want to appear as the opposite sex. And of course, ts eventually transition to the opposite sex. These are still considered, if not Taboo (I just watched a repeat of that on NatGeo channel from 2007), still outside what society thinks should be the norm.

But it is changing, just not fast enough.

Hugz

Chloë

[Guest Alexis1989]

I would have to argue that one. I am pretty sure cross dressers outnumber gays. Factor in that at least 95 percent of cross dressers never show themselves in public while doing so then add in all the drag queens ect . But to answer Katie_in_AK I do believe most people can understand sexuality alot easier then any types of gender expression.

Right but my point was that we are closeted people :/

[Guest Katie_in_AK]

Not everyone is closeted, and I'm DEFINATELY not embarrassed. Been like this my whole life. YES, I don't go out in public, but I'm not ASHAMED of who I am, I just don't need to deal with societal ignorance and possible trouble. But I would say a GREAT DEAL of us CD's are NOT embarrassed. Do you feel perfectly you en femme? Set that ASIDE from how you THINK others see you. If you are totally comfortable as Alexis, then why be embarrassed? You'll get over being "embarrassed" to Mel, and after a while you may venture about a bit. I understand that unless a person can really pull off a "pass in public", then yes, we look like a "man in a dress", but for now we may have to just "camp out at home" when it's time for our other half to express. My two pennies.

[Guest joan eden]

I think the genral puplic tends to be a very slow learning and, kind of stupid bunch. To may of then any man dressed as a women is a queer, Sweetie, strange fetish kind of abnorma l , creature from hell, sicko .Comedy shows know "Bring out a man dressed as a women and you get a cheap laugh"They've done it forever.Chesla Lately does it all the time . She supports gay rights she says, but CDs are a joke.I hate to say it but, generations will come and go before the genrel pop. changes.

[Guest KatyDesire]

Thing is, the gay movement have been aggressive in demanding recognition, and their rights. Before them, the feminist movement were (and still are) aggressively demanding their rights. We tend to sit back, and try to "pass". Which is great, but does nothing for acceptance. Of course, for those who do pass, acceptance happens when they are simply not recognized as trans. Difficult - to pass means that rocgnition is not needed, and to be recognized as desreving of respect means one is not passing.....

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Cross dressing is still seen as a 'problem' rather than part of a gender spectrum in the UK. However, I am much encouraged when in the UK newspaper (aka rag) called the Daily Mail which is a fairly right-wing paper, articles featuring cross-dressers often receive sympathetic comments from readers. A lot of people seem to say "so what?" in a non-hostile manner. Quite a few express support. (Of course, I make sure I get my say in!) I think this is quite a change from a few years ago. So in the UK we may be seeing the beginning of some acceptance... I hope. But I do share your anger. It is a real injustice to us all. And there is still a long, long way to go.

Eve

[Guest Kati]

At the moment the transgender community is beginning to knock on the door for acceptance in society. It's simply a matter of time before that happens to some degree in some localities. Whether crossdressing will be linked to transgenderism and thus result a greater degree of acceptance for the CD community is one of those questions for which I don't a clue.

[tracy_j]

Just an insight -

It is interesting that my partner finds my dressing far more of a problem than another member of the family being gay. She says that being gay is not a problem as your looks do not change, whereas the problem she finds with me is that I can 'show her up' in public inviting comments to her from her friends / family. I understand that and tend to wear mainly male clothes when with her but I think this really highlights a lot of the problem (as others have addressed above).

I think it can only really change when wearing of clothing more on preference rather than strictly to gender becomes commonplace!

Tracy

[Guest]

I believe it is because Gays and Lesbians are more well known by society. For some reason crossdressing is still taboo.

The fact that its taboo atracts me to it, but conversely it also makes it hard to do.

Whats the point of getting all dressed up to sit around the house? Although I still do it at home because it excites me...

[Guest AliciaDB2014]

Before I met my husband, the only exposure I had to cross dressing was drag-queens. I won't deny it, drag queens make me kind of crazy. I'm not a huge fan, but I think that has more to do with the over-the-top, excessive, flamboyant nature of it all than anything else. My first experiences with drag queens were RuPaul and Dennis Rodman and at the age of 9 or 10, it was an off putting experience. As an adult, I've been able to see more of it and learn more about it. I've realized that CDing is a real thing and it isn't just for show or to get laughs. My initial experience with CDing was that it was a joke, so I've always seen it that way until probably the last 3 or 4 years.

The fact that my husband CDs has actually strengthened our relationship, in my opinion. There is a certain level of trust required to admit something like that and it has made us stronger together. Its been about a month since my husband has dressed and I realized the other day while I was folding laundry how much I missed that part of him. I wish it wasn't so taboo in our society because there is nothing wrong with it. Its about expressing who you are... nothing different than dying your hair purple, getting a meaningful tattoo, piercing your nipples, etc. People fear what they don't understand and I think that is a big part of the problem with the taboo surrounding CDing.

[Guest Jamie_cd]

Megan_Lynn took the words right out of my mouth. I'm out to the majority of my friends and my brother. It's very hard to explain to people and seems more difficult than saying "hey I'm gay". Heck, some days it's hard for me to wrap my head around the topic.

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Alicia how I love your reply. It means a lot to me. You are a great support to your husband.

I'm glad to say my wife, while reluctant, at least accepts and we do share a few jokes even if we can express this no further.

Thanks for being a supporter!

Eve

[Guest KatyDesire]

Alicia, I wish I could download your approach onto a flashdrive and implant it on everyone else out there. It is so refreshing to hear from someone who has a healthy attitude to differences. Thank you. (PS - I'm not going to dye my hair purple!)

[Guest Fiona]

Well there are more gays than CDers and the gays fight harder while the CDers stay inside embarrassed

I would have to argue that one. I am pretty sure cross dressers outnumber gays. Factor in that at least 95 percent of cross dressers never show themselves in public while doing so then add in all the drag queens ect . But to answer Katie_in_AK I do believe most people can understand sexuality alot easier then any types of gender expression.

Yes, that was my first thought. One cannot even use forums to try to estimate because I've been dressing since I was very young (I'm in my late forties) and only now have had the courage to go online and learn more.