In Your Transition ...

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Transsexual Hell:

Trying desparately to be somebody and something you are not!

Do YOU have to end up in transsexual hell? No!

You've witnessed my very public flame out. Good! You can learn much from it.

First, Lacey is no drama queen. There is much going on behind the scenes none of you know about. Hey, I'm human too like any of you. The doo doo got to me and I went into melt-down mode, albeit very briefly, praised be the gods.

Second, why go through all the horse crap (Hey, AIN'T IT though, really?!?) to transition and STILL end up faking it while you're making it (transition, that is)? Lacey was trying to be the traditional transsexual girlie girl. THAT was her problem. Why was I trying to be a good little transgirl all froufrou and quaint? Crazy! I'm a free-spirited, high-octane, freaking-freely hippie chick. Heck with this girlie girl stuff, honey! When YOUR turn comes to go fulltime, JUST BE YOU!

Third, and finally, let your light shine. Be the genuine and real you. Down-play your liabilities. Play-up your assets. Rock your own house. For me, the face ain't gonna get it in the traditional girlie-girl way. Gonna give my face what I call the Janis Joplin look. Free and natural. Many of you never saw Janis at her very best ... you're too young. She could be fine, VERY FINE, when she was just being her. That's what I'm gonna do ... just be me. You do that too when YOUR time comes: Just be you. Finally, have you seen Lacey Girl in short shorts and a tight top? Hmmm? Ya might just change yer mind about her when ya do!

Freakin' Freely Lacey Lynne

Postscript:

Hey! You out there? Take your HRT today? Dang, what 'er ya waitin' for? DO IT!

[Guest John Chiv]

Lacey,

Seeing you, this you, the real you, is what makes me smile.

John

[Guest JaniceW]

Lacey,

It is great to see you back to yourself again girl!

[Guest sarah f]

Lacey I am so happy to see this post from you. I knew something had to be going on for that hurtful post from you. I am glad you decided this is who you are and will be who you are.

[Paula ult]

Lacey, you hit the nail squarely on the head when you say just be you and not try to be someone you are not, i can be a girly girl if i need or want to be but it is not who i care to be most of the time, i am content to just wear a tank top, capri's, shorts, sandals or Reebok's.

As far as things going on behind the scenes,you are far from the first person with these issues, i had lots going on that i never talked about, some almost derailed my surgery.

I am glad you are back to being your normal self that all of us like.

Paula

[Carolyn Marie]

Way to go, Lacey. Way to go.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[JenniferB]

Tnanks Lacey Lynne

That's really good advice. I was trying to do the same thing. I like some sports, but there is only one I follow closely, college basketball from my alma mater. I tried to deny myself from all sports thinking that is what females are supposed to do. Then I thought of my sister who is a big NFL football fan. Thanks to your post I realize there are all kinds of women and there will allways be some who like what I like.

Jenny

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, lookie who's back!

Welcome back, Hon....I always knew that you were yourself...I just wasn't sure who yerself was...

.

Many of you never saw Janis at her very best ... you're too young. She could be fine, VERY FINE, when she was just being her.

Yeah...I talked to her just this morning....had coffee with rum in it with her and Jimmy....

*whew*

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Guest SummerDay]

Plenty of real world projects flame out. It happens all the time only people rarely get to hear about it in public. I make a distinction between front and back of house. This place is back of house which is a lot better that flaming out in the middle of a shopping centre.

I look at this stuff like consumer goods production and your last topic where presentation, support, and cost issues were brought up was a really good look at that. It flushed out the major strategic issues and put them front and centre where they should be. That's a good thing because it makes things much more simple and easier to understand which raises the chances of a successful outcome.

Speaking in a design capacity I really ignore most of what's going on around me and spend most of my time on issues that never become public for anything up to five years or more. There's a lot right now that can be done to reshape the agenda in politics, improve the treatment roadmap, and make funding less of an issue.

I've been here before with big picture issues and trying to persuade gatekeepers and stakeholders to raise their game and ending up chewing concrete in the same way you flamed out. Can't say I want to go around that track again so I'm taking things calmly and steadily this time. I've also spent too much time on big picture and worrying about other people so I'm being much more selfish this time around. The roadmap I'm plotting is for me. If that changes anything or benefits other people that's a plus.

Doing your research, articulating your arguments, and keeping people on board who need to be kept on board is really important. Doesn't matter if you're a genius visionary or not, nobody likes prima donnas. Getting past that is a more realistic and happy place. Could be more effective to. And I think those are the real lessons of your flame out which have made this a very valuable exercise.

[Guest Michaele]

Dang Lacey it's good to have you back on track. We're all going to have a crash and burn now and then but you dusted yourself off, picked yourself up and know what, you're going to give Janis Joplin a run for her money, honey.

Love ya sis

Shelley

[Guest Karen K]

Lacey girl, I like your attitude and I really like your advice, which I'll take anytime, anywhere!

Laura Jane

[Guest SummerDay]

I've started a topic in the fashion forum on natural looking photography. It's not up yet and I'm not sure that it was the right forum but helps flesh out a few things like focusing on what you can do right and being yourself, and things other people have mentioned like developing a pro level of presentation and having a good attitude.

Some people have been a bit skittish. That's understandable because you've got enough on your plate as it is and someone rolling around who you don't know trying to squeeze photos out of everyone can look a bit funny. But I think some of the comments on taking photos and handling your life help zero in on that middle ground where people can be more daring and stay safe.

I suppose, another way of putting it is as I heard someone else say the other year or so it's about writing ourselves into existence. It's about writing our story in the street, in work, and the memories and connections we make with images and conversation.

On another level I've got my own frustrations to deal with and having a really hard time articulating what I feel right now. I really surprised myself when I picked up a camera. There's a lot to learn and the path can be very scary and uncertain as you don't always know where you're going or what result you'll get. But it's also taught me to start looking at things and understanding feelings that have always been blocked off and a little abstract. That's got to be worth something isn't it?

[Cyndee]

"Aint'nt nothin' like the real thing baby"

Being yourself, is just the place to be. Nothing wrong with reaching.

C Rae -

[Guest CariadsCarrot]

Lacey, I'm relived to see you sounding more positive. I was worrying about you.

Hugs

Gabe

[Guest AlexForever]

I so much want to quote your OP!

It's not just a MtF thing, also; FtM can make this mistake too, and I almost did.

I used to try to force myself to be "manlier", to "only like girls", and to be tougher and rougher than the average cisman; I ended up almost becoming a mysogynist homophobe, and basically an asshat in general.

You transition because you don't want to be forced into a tight box that doesn't fit you...so don't make the mistake to get out of it only to crawl into an equally unfitting and restricting box! You transition because it FEELS wrong, because you feel forced when you have to pretend to be male or female when you're not...well if that why you're transitioning, it doesn't make sense to force yourself to do stuff that STILL feels wrong!

At least, that's my interpretation of transitioning: you do it to become yourself, not "a Man" or "a Girl" or any other option. YOURSELF is ALSO a man or a girl or another option, but that's not all you are!

YOURSELF could be...

A girl that likes to cook, or maybe a girl that can't cook to save her life...

A boy who loves soccer, or maybe a boy who really doesn't care too much about sports....

A thin and graceful androgyne, or maybe a curvy and clumsy androgyne...

OR ANY OTHER OPTION! YOU CAN'T "DO IT WRONG" IF IT'S WHO YOU ARE

[Cyndee]

Rock on Lacey, you are not forgotten.

[MaryEllen]

I miss Lacey. I hope she's alright.

 

[Guest]

55 minutes ago, MaryEllen said:

I miss Lacey. I hope she's alright.

 

I hope so, as well.

 

Huggs,

 

Joann

[Guest DianeATL]

I have a big sign in my bathroom which reads - Be You.

Sometimes I am more girly than the other women, sometimes people make me as trans, it doesn't matter, I just have to be me and that me is a mature trans woman.  Others can deal with it.

You go girl

BTW Janis was one of my all time favorites, god she had a depth of soul that wouldn't quit