I Came Out To My Mother Today

[Guest Eve1]

This is just a quick note just to say I came out to my mom last night. I just wanted to thank everyone here, that by sharing their own experiences through this forum/site, you gave me the strength to finally tell my mom the truth of what I was struggling with for the past 30 years. The weight of this is so over powering that it really does effects your very being. It makes you feel in someway you are living a lie about your life. But after facing it and then finally opening up, it's VERY liberating. It's like the weight of the world is finally off my shoulders and you can move forward in complete honesty. I guess I need to thank Chaz Bono for my opening to finally opening up to my mom.

My mom came over last night and through our general conversation of "how's it going, what's new?", she started to talk about him. Now I've been on HRT for 11 months now, and I never talked to anyone about this. I thought she was using the subject of C.B. and his experience as a means to bridge the subject with me in a nonthreatening way. Putting out feelers if you will. We danced around the subject for a short time, I started to believe she has a idea but she needed me to talk first. So I asked her straight out, how would she feel if she found out one her kids feels the same way Chaz did, and then they chose to do something about it. She gave the normal quick answers of no worries, it wouldn't be a big deal, but then suddenly she gave me the "what???" look. So I came clean with her.

It was the most comforting experience I had with my mom. Right away, she came over to me and sat on the couch next to me just to put her arms around me for comfort. After all these years, not being able to talk about it, feeling the shame, guilt, or worrying of disappointing my parents. Only to find out, my mom is very supportive after all. I wish I talked about this years ago with them. From about 7 pm till 230 am this morning we talked, then she came back over again today and we continued our conversation again. She had a lot of questions, most were the wrong information about G.I.D. So after a lot of talking, explaining, reassuring and some crying, we came away with a better relationship. And best of all, she said she supports me totally with how far I want to go with this.

I struggled so much over the last 11 months about when and how or IF I should tell my mom. I even questioned myself about do I have a the right to disrupt my mom's perception of me after 42 years of life. My mom is an amazing woman. She surprised me so much last night. So even after 67 years, a parent's love will never waiver no matter what happens. They will still stand next to you out of sheer love for their child no matter what.

I've seen on youtube, they say the first person you tell is the hardest, and then it get easier after that. I crossed that bridge last night with my mom and I'm still standing. I look forward crossing future bridges with my transition in the years to come. Today is so much more sunny than all of the yesterdays I had. I look forward to the future, I see a future, I feel great.

So to close, in my experience I had a great one. I wish and hope everyone here experiences the same love and support I did from my mother when they have their "talk". Your parents may surprise you in more ways than what you give them credit for.

Eve

[Guest Miss_Construe]

Well Eve,

Now you have one powerful ally with you and this community pulling for you. I am really glad to hear about the positive response you received. I actually shed a few tears of joy for you.

I really want to know how things progress so keep me and the others updated.

<3

Amy

[JJ]

Eve, that is absolutely wonderful! A time you will forever remember and treasure.

Now that you have opened the door the journey has begun and you don't have to make it alone.

Fantastic!

Johnny

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Eve:

Far OUT! Awesomely-good news, hon! Made my day!

Good for you!

Keep the faith throughout your journey.

Lacey

[Guest Elizabeth K]

HUGE

This is so big! I am so happy for you that it turned out to be the best thing it could - complete acceptance.

Your story makes me shake my head, and just SMILE!!!

Lizzy

[Guest Eve1]

I don't know what to say, my mom was really great about it. I was so conflicted about saying anything at all. I'm 42 and she is 67. How would a 67 yr old woman even begin to get her mind wrapped around this I worried. She really surprised me with her wanting to know about what I have always felt my whole life but never had the courage to say. After the flood gates were finally open, she had all of these question. There was a lot of "Ahhh, that explains a lot of past behavior from me". Mostly she kept trying to tie GID to homosexuality. So I needed to be reemphasized about the total unrelated nature each has to each other in the conventional sense. She struggled with trying to understand (using Chaz B as the example) of how a girl is born, then transitions to a man, (removing the top bits but keeping the lower female bits) and keeps a female as a spouse, how that doesn't make him a lesbian.

On other parts of the conversation, she was totally receptive of what I wanted and what direction I am taking. NEVER did she say or act that she wanted me to stop out of the "What will the neighbors say" attitude. The only thing she worried about was MY safety/backlash from the community. I guess she had the mental image of the man in a dress walking the streets. So a little explaining and reassuring from me, she got a better understand of my "road map" plan.

There was a point that my mom didn't want ALL the details all at once. You could tell she was getting a little overwhelmed with all the information and began to get a little fidgety. So I backed off, figured let her come to me with the questions. I had all of my life with the these feelings, and then 11 months of HRT, she only had 24 hours of this type of "new flash". I would have to say, that's a lot to absorb. Over all, I couldn't ask for a better experience.

I wish everyone has the same experience as I did. I hope everyone also has a great weekend coming up.

Eve