Some Thoughts On Adulthood

[Guest Avery F]

Hey there everyone,

This is rather random... I recently turned eighteen, so I'm now officially a legal adult. I was feeling sort of introspective about this and wrote a short essay on what being an adult means to me. It's not directly about being trans - in fact it only mentions trans-related subjects once - but I think that the point is relevant. The essay's not for school or anything, it's just some thoughts. I'd love to hear anyone's opinions on the issues I tried to address, if you'd like to share.

Here's the essay:

Many, many people believe that they know the best way to live. They do not hesitate to preach about the virtues of their personal philosophy, or condemn yours for its differences. Each is sincere in their belief that their way is the best; each of their ways is different.

The point of childhood is to experiment in a controlled environment, to make decisions which are not life-altering in nature, in order to develop your own views and beliefs. Ultimately, the biggest difference between childhood and adulthood is that during the former, others decide what is best for you, and in the latter you must decide. This ensures, at least in theory, that a person cannot ruin their life through mere inexperience.

When you are an adult, it is your right and responsibility to decide for yourself how to live your life. If your greatest dream and goal is to live to a ripe old age and die peacefully in bed, then by all means, practice good nutrition, exercise, avoid taking risks, and develop a good retirement plan. If you would rather try all the most extreme activities in the world, fight for your country or what you believe in, and die young in a heroic way, then go cave diving, enlist in the armed services, and volunteer for every suicide mission that comes your way. Whatever you wish to do with your life, do it – live the way that you want, not the way that someone else wants you to.

Some people may tell you that choosing a risky lifestyle is unwise. They’ll say that you should watch your health and not take undue risks, because while living fast and going out guns blazing might seem like an attractive prospect now, you might change your mind later. What happens, they ask, when you’re forty years old and confined to a wheelchair because you broke your spine mountain climbing? Won’t you regret not living more safely then?

Maybe you will – but imagine another scenario. You’re sixty years old, you’ve never tried anything dangerous in your life, and now you can’t try anything dangerous because your body just doesn’t work the way it used to, because no matter how well you eat or how carefully you drive, people do inevitably begin physically deteriorating at a certain point. Don’t you wish now that you’d done all those risky things when you had the chance? You’ve changed your mind about what you want out of life, but now it’s too late to go back and change things.

The point is, at what age do you decide that your mind is made up and you’re not changing it? How long do you wait? You can always change your mind. It doesn’t matter whether you’re twenty-seven or seventy-two, there is always a chance that your views will change and you’ll regret the way you spent your earlier years. At one time or another, you simply have to make up your mind and go for it. If you regret it later, well, then that’s a tough break, but no matter what you do you are taking a risk. Life has no guarantees, so waiting for one is useless.

For myself, I have settled on a lifestyle which balances physical health with mental and emotional health. I take my vitamins, exercise occasionally, stay off drugs, and obey the law. On the other hand, I don’t go outside, frequently skip breakfast, drink a lot of soda and spend an exorbitant amount of time on the computer. I am going to college, but have not made a firm decision to follow a career path which requires academic credentials. I am going to physically transition from one gender to the other. I don’t take stupid risks, like driving drunk or picking fights, but neither is my existence “a lifelong wait for a hospital stay”, to quote. Will I regret not getting more sunlight, or having chest surgery, later in my life? I doubt it, but who knows? Maybe I will. Right now, though, it is what I want, what I have wanted for some time, and what I predict as wanting for many years to come; and in the end, that is as good a guarantee as anyone can hope for.

Yeah... random. Anyway. As I said, I'd be really interested to hear any thoughts you might have on the subjects I brought up in the essay - I've been thinking a lot about them recently, and different points of view can add whole new aspects to a subject.

Thanks for reading,

Avery Sherburn Insert-Last-Name-Here (it's official! I sent in the name change papers!)

[Guest Doodlen]

You make some excellent points. I'd say more, but I have to go check for bungee-jumping openings now! (lifelong goal of mine)

[Guest Elena]

This is a beautifully well thought out eaasy! So full of wonderful truths. I personally couldn't imagine not taking some of the risks I have chosen to take. They are as much part of who I am as is how I wear my hair or that I call most women darlin or honey. (funny I realized I don't do that when writing)

Something to note though. The person who takes those risks when young and seizes life to shake as many unique experiences as possible out, is far less likely to regret those choices later in life. Those who are afraid of suffering the consequences of living will almost always have regrets, they are never sure what they missed.

Cheers,

Elena

[Guest Avery F]

Thanks for the replies - it's nice to know that there are others out there who support the 'take risks' lifestyle My family unfortunately subscribes to the 'live as long as possible no matter the consequences' philosophy, so it's great to meet others who have a different view on things. Of course, one could say that living super-safely is its own kind of risk... Dunno.