Sorry, Another "what Am I" Thread

[Guest asa]

hey, so i was born biologically male but have NEVER identified with attributes associated with masculinity, i've always gravitiated towards pink frilly things, flowers and butteflies and stuffed animals; stories of love and friendship over those of warfare and conquest; i'm prolly the least aggressive person i know. my personal opinion is that boys are gross and i honestly cant stand to be around men or anything typically associated with maleness. i've always dressed "girly" and prefer to spend my time reading a good romance or watching shojo anime than anything. i often cross-dress, and identify more as a girl than anything, but in society i try very hard to adopt a more acceptable and typical "male" attitude and appearance, usually with disasterous results- it just feels awkward and unnatural, and i know people pick up on that. I don't really have any desire to physically "be" a girl, i'm quite comfortable just doing my own thing in the body i'm in... i don't know anything about the transgender community so where exactly do i fit in? i'm really just still trying to find the language i need to explain to people when they ask "why are you dressed like that"?

[JJ]

One of the beautiful things about this place is that you don't have to fit in any niche. We aren't all binary and we aren't all alike. There is a long broad gender spectrum and you can fir anywhere on it.

It can take a long time to figure out who you are and what you want. For me it changed as I peeled back layer after layer. There was so much confusion. But I had the people here which made an enormous difference. They accepted me as I was and as I became and as I will become.

One of the things that can make a huge difference and save a great deal of time and heartache is to see a Gender Therapist. They won't label you. Or try to tell you who you are and what is wrong with you. They guide you to discover who you are for yourself and to discover what you need to do to live a life at peace with yourself. Gender identity is so confusing-and often we feel conflicting emotions. A therapist is like a guide through a maze . It is very important that it be a gender therapist because a regular therapist is at best a waste of money and at worst can do real harm because the symptoms of gender identity issues can mimic illness while it is not itself an illness and you get treated for something you don't have.

So feel free to post here all you like and ask any questions you like. Almost all of us have felt the same conflicts and confusions to some degree. We understand. And we care.

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest Darrin]

Hey there,

I don't have much in the way of advice because I'm on a similar path as you trying to figure everything out, but a therapist is a good start. Once I get some money I'm going back to mine.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearheart,

From what I can see, you are expressing yourself in the realm of androgynous cross-dresser. I know you asked for help as to where you fit in right now, and that is the advice that I can give to you, but I will also add that your identity is fluid.

Assigning labels is never a good idea. You are who you are and many of us have the characteristics of every gender group. If you analyze things too hard, you will find yourself identifying with everyone, and confusing yourself even more.

Just relax and enjoy being you. You belong here because you are you. There is no need to find a label that is already defined.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Elizabeth K]

You are you.

And labels? If you are looking for one, you need to understand that your feeling change year to year, even day to day sometimes.

You do like to be rather androgynous - yet you mentioned cross dressing winch I assume means you do like to present the full female side of yourself. There are those here that seem to think that is being an androgyne - sometimes male - sometimes female. There are also those her that identify as androgyne who are just happy being somewhere in the middle permanently, So it's kinda male AND female, or NEITHER male nor female.

But like we always say, we are not therapists.

So if you need to know for sure? It is usually a gender dysphoria trained therapist that can tell you.

Lizzy