I Feel Like I'm Forced To Tell Personal Things To A Stranger I Hate

[Guest AlexForever]

I really, really, REALLY hate one of my therapists.

I have to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist because of a suicide attempt that happened two years ago.

While I do trust my psychologist and I'm only a little annoyed at him because he's taking too much to send the results of my Rorshach to the Centre I'm going to (it's required to start HRT)...I REALLY don't trust and don't like my psychiatrist.

I only go there because I'm forced to, and I only see her like 5 minutes once a month, it's mostly just so she can pretend I'm being taken care of and I can demostrate I'm collaborating with them and do not need to be put in some hospital ward.

But everytime I feel like I have to tell personal stuff to a stranger I don't trust at all!

Also she doesn't believe that GID exists (yes she's a freaking psychiatrist and JUST DOESN'T BELIEVE IT. WHERE THE love DID SHE GRADUATE!?!) therefore doesn't think that I have a Gender Identity problem so she tried to make it seem like the Centre I'm going to isn't legit and says that I'm doing it on my own without having been sent there by a doctor of any kind (well I had to find it by myself because NO ONE I talked to could help me find one!!! No one!!! I've tried to find one since I was 16 and now I'm 20!!!) and that "it isn't necessary" for me to start HRT (because suicide isn't a REAL OBJECTIVE RISK of course!!! It's always a conscious choice, so not a risk, right? Right!?! ) and that it's not my only problem (like I don't know it!!!I know I have other problems I need to resolve, but having this other huge problem in addition surely doesn't help!!!) nor my main one (BUT IT'S THE ONE MOSTLY AFFECTING ME RIGHT NOW!!! I've started to think about suicide again after two years!!! I thought that something would change but NOTHING changed so far!!! I'm still stuck because of stupid bureaucracy and can't do nothing about it!!!) so she tries to invalidate me, and I'm just sick, SICK of discussing it with people who obviously KNOW NOTHING AT ALL about it and think they know more about it than someone who has lived with it for 20 freaking years!!!

I'm really, REALLY tired of it!!!

And before you ask no, I can't change psychiatrist, she's the only one in my city and I can't afford to go somewhere else every month, we don't even have a car for God knows how long because it broke and now it's being fixed.

What's the loving point of goint to a therapist if it makes me feel even worse everytime!?!

[Guest Miss_Construe]

Talk to the therapist you trust about your concerns and file a complaint with the ward and the courts (or whom ever decides that you are required to see her for counselling). The therapist you trust should back you up without trying to talk you out of doing it (not to be confused with trying to understand your concerns, you will be able to tell the difference in your gut). If there is not affirmed threat of you attempting to harm yourself then you shouldn't have to at all. Do NOT take her word for anything that may or may not be required. She may be telling the truth, she may not be. If you don't trust your therapist then even the courts will understand you will not be helped, but may actually be pushed over the edge.

I don't know Italy's protections for the TG community but if there are any then filing a complaint against your therapist will in the very least get you a new one.

When you get a new one, tell them your concerns about past counselling so you have a cleaner slate going forward. Also talk about what you expect therapy to look like. If they don't listen then run. Good to get all of your therapist baggage out of the way up front so it is seen by everyone. A bad therapist may try to use it against you, but the therapist will trigger your spider senses. Being that open is a bit scary, but also empowering.

Anyway, my baggage is showing so I should bow out.

<3

Amy

[Guest Alexandra89]

My parents sent me to a psychiatrist who was a lot like yours after an incident when I was little. I spent years putting up with him.

He believed my gender issues stemmed from some other problem, but I'll never guess what he thought that problem was because his approach was really erratic. It seems like there are a lot of psychiatrists like this.

-Alex(andra)

[Guest AlexForever]

Talk to the therapist you trust about your concerns and file a complaint with the ward and the courts (or whom ever decides that you are required to see her for counselling). The therapist you trust should back you up without trying to talk you out of doing it (not to be confused with trying to understand your concerns, you will be able to tell the difference in your gut). If there is not affirmed threat of you attempting to harm yourself then you shouldn't have to at all. Do NOT take her word for anything that may or may not be required. She may be telling the truth, she may not be. If you don't trust your therapist then even the courts will understand you will not be helped, but may actually be pushed over the edge.

But would a complaint do anything if the hospital didn't want to let me go home in the first place? They wanted to say I was not able to be compos mentis/of sound mind because of my attempt, even though I was very collaborative and conscious. For what she told my parents, she basically did them a favour convincing the hospital that I didn't need permanent hospitalization.

Idk if there is not affirmed threat of me attempting to harm myself because I am also a self-injurer and both therapists are aware of this, this might be used at my disadvantage even if my injuries aren't so serious to make me risk my life

I don't know Italy's protections for the TG community but if there are any then filing a complaint against your therapist will in the very least get you a new one.

I don't think we have any, I'm trying to contact an organization but don't know if anything can be done from that side.

And I don't know if I could get a new one, she seems to be responsible for the whole province.

I would be fine not having one at all, because I feel that meds are doing nothing for me, the only thing that's really helping is seeing my other therapist, but I don't know if this is possible given what I've done.

When you get a new one, tell them your concerns about past counselling so you have a cleaner slate going forward. Also talk about what you expect therapy to look like. If they don't listen then run. Good to get all of your therapist baggage out of the way up front so it is seen by everyone. A bad therapist may try to use it against you, but the therapist will trigger your spider senses. Being that open is a bit scary, but also empowering.

Anyway, my baggage is showing so I should bow out.

<3

Amy

If I ever get a new one, I'd be sure to do that!

[JJ]

I'll let you in on a secret-those in the other helping professions used to have a saying that you had to be a mad arrogant son of a -shall we use the word gun/-to become a psychiatrist. Not true of course but something seems to draw people who are not exactly balanced themselves and then imbues them with an enormous sense of personal importance and infallibility. There are many good psychiatrists out there but there are as many bad ones in my experience. They are not the infallible demigods some become convinced they are.

I haven't personally had a bad experience with one but have served on boards with them and had clients harmed by them. My advise in the case of one like this is to remember that she is ignoring established medical fact. Which is willful ignorance. You can't win fighting her and if you can't get free then just remember how flawed she really is and cooperate on the surface till you can get free. Also as has been suggested keep your other therapists informed of the true state of affairs.

hope you do manage to free yourself from this person but if not then stay strong. It will eventually end.

Johnny