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Unsure How To Come Out To My Best Friend.


Guest Fiarlia

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Guest Fiarlia

I've already come out to my mother, sister and sisters boyfriend, and so far everyone has been extremely supportive and understanding - my sister even got me a few very nice wigs and wants to take me shopping. But there's still one person left who I feel I need to tell before I start transitioning.

I'm usually very solitary, I only really have one friend (plus a few acquaintances). But, he and I have been talking about getting a place together, which would help me save oodles of money towards everything that needs to be done. He's been an important part of my life, as the only person I feel comfortable around aside from family, despite having thus far been in perma-guy mode around him. I want to keep him a part of my life when I start being my true self, but I feel like it's only fair to tell him the truth about me before we become roomies, since I'd likely be transitioning while we live together. I don't think he'll have any problems with me doing it, and he'll probably be supportive, but I still think I need to tell him before we even start looking at places (waiting to get enough money built up before we look, since we'll need furniture on top of standard moving costs), to me it seems fair and the right thing to do. If for some reason I'm wrong and he'd have a problem, best to tell him before we make any kind of commitment and spend lots of money. So, I've decided that I do need to tell him, but that's not the hard part.

With family, I did the whole letter writing thing, and in the letter, I had included numerous examples of stuff from the past 29 years of my life that I did because I wanted to be/felt like I was female. Mom and my sister had both caught me doing various things such as dressing up, taking my sisters toys to play with and much more. In my opinion, this helped them understand and connect the dots so to speak. The problem with my friend is that he's never caught me doing anything, he would have pretty much be blindsided by this. I have nothing to really mention in a letter to him (or speaking, haven't decided with him) aside from me being a woman underneath and changing my exterior to match. I'm kind of at a loss on how to tell him, and what to tell him to help make it as easy as possible for him to understand.

Help? :(

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Guest Melanie54

Ironically I did the same thing today. I friend and I are talking about sharing an apartment. I think the only thing you can do is straight up tell him. It's what I had to do, as well, I have never been feminine or anything around him or any of my friends really. I would avoid words like transsexual or anything even remotely close to the idea of sex.

Best of luck and lots of hugs

Melanie

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  • 2 months later...

Sorry for bumping an old topic of mine to the top, but just wanted to give an update. Told my best friend about me, and he has no problems with it. :D

In fact, I'm at his house right now typing this up (and he's watching lol) since my own internet got shut off. I feel quite lucky that pretty much the only friend that I would want to be around after I transition is going to be. With him and my immediate family on board (my sister even gave me a whole bunch of new clothes) all that's left is to have the funds to begin everything. My friend, mom and sister were the biggest of my concerns and they're all on board and supportive. Yay!

<3 Heather

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And here I had seven pages of information on how to do it for you........ Just kidding.

Heather this is great and I am happy for you.

Now all of the really important people in your life know and support you. They will be there for you when others are not as supporting.

Mia

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Guest kelly_aus

Good to hear it went so well.. I'm facing having to tell a very old and dear friend. We've known each other since HS and amongst other things I was best man(?) at his wedding.. I'm terrified he will turn away from me - although I've felt that way with everyone and I've only had 1 walk away so far..

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