Second Try - Judith Diperna

[Guest Stephen-Renae]

Okay, so it's been a long time since my mom and I tried to find a therapist (after the last one....to put it short, a total quack). However, we've FINALLY found someone who not only deals mostly with LGBT issues (with emphasis on the 'T' aspects) but she also takes our insurance!

Her name is Judith Diperna, in the Pittsburgh, PA area...Seems okay so far. The building she works at has someone that does a very brief questioning over the phone and schedules the appointments at the same time....I stuttered a lot over "What makes your feel that [you're transgendered]?" Ugh. I know it's necessary, but I hate that question!

Anywho, they said the first appointment will be soon, and it will be about 2 hours long I'll have to bring my sketchbook....

I'm getting a little nervous, though. I'm only 17 (and don't drive, haha) and my mom's definitely gonna' want to be in the same room for at least the first few times (I don't blame her. I actually liked having her with me when the last therapist tried to convince us I had ADHD o-0) but....It's hard to be truthful and open with my mom there. Not because I want to hid stuff from her, though!

I don't mind talking frankly about...well, anything. I prefer it that way. Much more practical. However, if I talk frankly and honestly to the therapist (about sexuality, wanting to transition, whatever) my mom isn't going to be happy. Oh, she won't do anything at the office. No, she'll wait until we get home, and be either standoffish, or something. It just makes the home atmosphere akward....

I'm really nervous about if the therapist will ask about transitioning. I know for a fact (as of right now, at least) I want to. I'm nervous because if something like that comes up, I know I'm going to speak frankly about it, whether my mom likes it or not....essentially, I'm afraid my mouth will come back to haunt me :X

Any other younger people here who can relate? Not that I mind comments from the non-teenagers here!

Edited July 11, 2011 by Carolyn Marie
Minor personal detail removed to ensure member's privacy

[Guest Elena]

There is one very simple truth for any sort of counciling to be effective, you absolutely have to feel able to speak freely. If your mom being in the session with you makes that impossible you need to ask her to leave, in fact the therapist should actually insist. Having a second party in a sesdion that is not participating in the therapy violates patient privacy. This is even true with minors. Your parents do have a right to discuss your therapy with the councilor seperately, but the therapist would not usually share specific details, merely appraise your parents of progress. There are of course some exceptions to this. Such as if you are a danger to yourself or others.

When I was seeing a therapist while I was a minor, I spent 50 minutes in a session then my mom would spend 5. If you are working on something that is directly betwern you and your mom, then you would both be in the session together. I wouldn't make bones about it for the first couple times, after all your mom and you both need to be comfortable with the new Therapist. Don't let her pull up a permanent seat though.

Hope this helps hon. Remember while your parents will have to deal with all this for themselves, this is for you, not them.

Hope your new Therapist is a great fit for you!

<3

Elena

[Guest Stephen-Renae]

Thanks, Elena, your post was really encouraging! Thankfully, it's not until after band camp...I usually feel more confident and outgoing after a week with my fellow band geeks! xD

[Guest Stephen-Renae]

Okay, so I've had my appointment...and I think it went great!

So, I was a little nervous, especially when I saw the outside of the building I was going to - not exactly....ahem, clean-looking. But then I got inside, and it was totally different. I stepped into this purple room that had several people in it and a bulletin board positively covered in LGBT-related articles and get-togethers...and as me and my mom were waiting for our turn at the window, someone came through the door and told their friend excitedly "I'm getting my first shot today! Estrogen!" and it made me smile.

There was a TON of papers to sign (as expected, lol), but after that was the actual intake interview...thing, and I'll be assigned a GT from that center, who will contact us for the next appointment. By the end of the interview, the lady had written up a...uh, forget what it's called...a treatment plan, I think. Anyway, it stated that my goal is to fully transition to a male, and it included hormones in the kind-of-sort-of near future *glee*

I feel bad, because of a few things:

1) The drive up there took an extra hour, because we had HUGE trouble navagating in such a huge city, and the bridge we were supposed to take was closed. And we missed several turns on the way home, so it was more stressful. My mom hates big cities.

2) My mom was really distressed in the interview - I sat there saying "I want to fully transition. I want to be male. I want hormones." and it was the most frank I've ever been about it in her presence. I didn't really mean to make her so uncomfortable.

But really, I know this is what I have to do. And I'm ecstatic right now! I'll be hyper-nervous for the next visit (my dad will be there too....I've never talked to my dad about any of it. He only knows through my mom) but I'll cross that bridge when it comes....as long as it's not closed. I don't like detours after this trip!

Oh. And on one of the forms, it asked for my chosen name...I put 'Jesse'. I'm happy it's finally down in writing somewhere. ^-^

[~Nova~]

Congrats Jesse

You have taken the hardest step and survived.

Nova

[Guest Krisina]

Glad to hear it went so well and your Mom is being supportive as best as she can.

Krisina