Should I Just Give Up?

[Guest Lilyyy]

The only time where i can crossdress and act as a girl is when my dad is not at home and good news thats usually often but my mum is usually at home and ive told her i don't want to be a boy but a girl shes ok with but when i do crossdress and have make up on and etc but she nevers looks me in the eyes and always looks at what im wearing, also she always tries to get me into football and other boyish sports (Not trying to be sexist) which i hate.I was shaking when i told her and i don't think i have the courage or the guts to tell the rest of my family me and my sister are close but shes moved in with her boyfriend far away maybe i should tell her frist? Im only 14 maybe i should wait a couple of years then come out?.What im trying to say is i just need some advice on what to do?

[Guest Evan_J]

Your post wasn't long at all

Well, the first thing is stop shaking, at least on this board, its a safe to be trans here. Next I would say that you could probably use a little of that "safe" feeling in your rl as well. I dunno which is best only you will, but I'd say either decide which friend you have will be most likely to accept you and tell them, OR, if you think your sister could be that person tell her, OR go to your school lgbt office and get into a group or make a friend there. Basically look for at least one place in your real life where you can feel "safe" (not shakey, awkward, or judged) being the girl you are. Cause even if you can be it only in those surroundings and just for little bits of time it will really help you until you reach those points in life where you're ready to talk about formal counseling and such.

[Guest skyy]

i really wish i could tell you what to do but i dont really know what to say. i have no idea what your next step should be cause i just am not there yet. but all i can say is you arent alone and if you need someone to talk to, i'll listen. you should never give up on who you are. never compramise your own heart for the sake of others misunderstanding. i know its hard, and you have it worse than i do, but i really want to help if i can in what little way i can, through listening and support. in the end you have to be strong. i know you can survive it if you keep pushing. dont worry about what the future holds, we can only live one day at a time.

if i let myself think about how i will lose virtually all my friends and a good bit of my family when i come out, i couldnt function. i like to listen to music to strengthen my resolve, so maby you can find something to strengthen yourself too. i hate to see you feel bad because i completly sympathise with how you feel. i cant help with when to come out, cause i'm not even out yet. but i think we'll both know when the time has come for it to be known, i just hope that day is soon. sorry for the really long post, i just dont want you to have to live with that for another 2 years without doing anything like i did *hug*

[Guest jantonio]

Hello Lily, the coming out process is tough for alot of us, even as adults. I can't really tell you what to do because you are the only one who knows what type of relationship you have with your family. You would know when would be the best time to do so.

Best wishes...

Jose Antonio..

[Guest Felicity]

Hi Lily,

Don't give up, I've spent the last few years trying to 'cope' which led to a disastrous relationship and a lot of stress. My sister has turned out to be a rock, her only misgiving about the whole thing is that I've managed to bypass 30 odd years of my Dad's chauvinism Even if you decide that you aren't ready to talk to your sister, use the forum as a pressure release

Take care,

Felicity

[Guest Lilyyy]

I guess i should just take my time in telling my family and my sister.

Thanks for Replies xx

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Hey there Lily. Love the name : )

I would personally second everything Evan said. Thats some good advice there.

And try to be patient. Thats a terribly hard thing to do sometimes, but your quite young and you have time to learn all about yourself and your condition and what to do about it. Do that- fortify yourself with knowledge, try to understand how you feel and why. Read about it and talk to others. The more confident you are and the better you understand your situation, the easier it will be for you to help others understand it too. There are great resources available all over this site to help you and plenty of people to talk to.

Don't be afraid and try not to feel like everything has to happen all at once. It doesn't. These things come in steps and take time, and you're close to the beginning- you have accepted _yourself._ That takes some people, like me, decades - so congratulations on being so far ahead : )

Like Evan said, try to find some support in your real life that you can count on. If you can find a support group through school, perhaps, then they can help you and guide you, too. And you can always come here and talk to all of us.

It'll be alright. : )

[Guest Paula82]

I can sort of sympathise with you, Lily, as I still live at home and although I haven't actually told my mom I think she has a pretty good idea (you can't hide things from moms can you? ). There's definitely an awkwardness there sometimes though. Of course, I'm quite a bit older than you and I wish I had your presence of mind at 14 as I would now probably be a lot further down the road. Like others have said, you have so much time to figure out the next step and the one after that and so on. If you ever want to chat let me know, and stay strong!

[Guest theEND]

I guess i should just take my time in telling my family and my sister.

Thanks for Replies xx

Good luck!